• Diss

  • Gods and Isekai'ng and Systems

kazesenken Right off the bat I wouldn't read it because of reasons that are the:

  • Title - Otherworld Isekai Service. Just no.

  • Synopsis is a bit too long.

  • There's comedy, I enjoy serious synopsis'

  • You continued to use the quote in the synopsis with no spacing. Always start a new sentence when using a quote or simply separate the quote.

  • The last three words are "path of carnage" has no relation to the title or the synopsis you written. I would understand if it was like "path of regaining a human body" or something but path of carnage doesn't relate whatsoever.

  • "After getting killed in an accident" first several words, drop for me cause the route is so overused. You don't even have to give a reason, just transmigrate him into a truck with like a mental message or something.

  • Use of questions. I get you're trying to grab the audience's attention but that's an instant drop for me.

  • Also you used Kami-san, which I'm guessing is a god of sort and as an apology, he transmigrates him to another world. With what I said before, I fucken hate when authors go for the God route or whatever interdimensional being interferes with the protagonist's death.

  • When I'm checking someone's work, I check the titles and you used question marks and single letters. I like serious titles.

  • The titles don't grab my attention.

I read a bit and it's good, you used quotations, which is good, you're not like those shitty, lazy authors.
Yeah, I skimmed through you're novel and the grammar and the sentence/paragraph structure were good. But I won't read it simply cause I don't like these types of novels. I enjoy more serious novels. :)

You might think these reasons are bullshit, but these are just my opinions and you got 69k views so you're doing something right.

FUCKKKK I REVIEWED THE WRONG ONE.

      kazesenken Yeah but for your more recent novel, I also wouldn't read it cause of:

      • The title, no hate, but light novel titles, the title that you made was what got me into reading web novels in general. So whenever I see a similar title, I avoid it, simply cause it reminds me of the past.

      • I like the use of volumes in the synopsis, but that's not for me. I honestly don't care that you're trying to give the reader an easier time of what's happening, but a synopsis is a short intro to your story, and that is not an intro.

      • The volumes are way too detailed.

      • Ugh... First-person, that's an instant drop for me. I just don't like the first person in general.

      • You got some chunky paragraphs there (in the chapters).

      • It's an isekai.

      Some good sentence structure and grammar but you should work on your paragraph structure. Their a bit too chunky for me.

      Overall, compared to the trash novels I read on this site, yours is incomparably better. But no, it doesn't pique my interest cause these types of novels are the ones I absolutely fucken detest. In general though (no hate to you :) ).

      You deserve those reviews as well, some shitty novels I read honestly don't...The quality of standard, that the readers on this site have are simply pathetic.

          Piggy
          Fair enough. Just curious about what you thought. My novels tend to be a bit slapstick/parody at the beginning so it's not everyone's cup of tea.
          Hope you find something that is more fitting to your tastes. If not here, then maybe try RoyalRoad?

              kazesenken I tried royal road a few years ago and the originals on there were actually good.

                  Piggy

                  RoyalRoad is a lot more pickier and critical in terms of reader base so the top-ranking stories there are simply amazing :D I love The Wandering Inn, ThreadBare and other notable stories. And thank you for an example of a good system novel! I understand that system novels can become a crutch for writers, especially since a lot of other people favor it. The ones ranking now tend to be Systems, LitRPG or the like.

                  Me: Ah, colons instead of quotations marks sweatdrops reminds me of roleplaying, I guess some people can get behind it but others don't

                  And thank you for giving a number on sentences in paragraphs, I think most authors tend to go for shorter paragraphs to avoid blocks of paragraphs that can deter the more simple readers who glaze over paragraphs lol. The reading habits of a webnovel reader does contrast a lot with that of an average reader of published books. Once again my thanks! I'm currently writing a VR Book with some System elements so I'll take your feedback into account :D It's probably something I wouldn't want you to read unless you like to give feedback for lackluster novels haha

                      This thread is great. While Isekai’s aren’t always bad, I find most are. In fact, I’m inspired to write a bad one myself! I’ll incorporate some tricks I’ve picked up on this website:

                      GOD KILLER a short isekai by Shadowdrake27

                      “I hate god!” Character 1 screams. He immediately gets hit by a truck.

                      “Oh no, that’s bad,” the narrator points out, breaking the fourth wall for no reason.

                      “Why am I still conscious?” Character 1 asks while looking at his flattened body. “I’m deader than a dead dead-thing.”

                      “I’ve decide to reincarnate you because of a reason,” god 1 says.

                      “Wow, I’ve always loved you, good 1! How many super powers can I have in my new life?”

                      “As many as you want. Who cares about balance and conflict in a story!”

                      “That’s so generous!” The narrator points out.

                      “In that case, I’ll have all of them!” says character 1.

                      “Zap! You have every power ever made ever, like ever-ever. For real, any power ever thought of you have,” god 1 says.

                      “Then I’m going to kill you god 1!”

                      “What? I’m shocked that you would do that. Why are you killing me?”

                      “Because I can now, and I have epic plot-armor as the main character!”

                      “Dang, you got me. Well played...”

                      “God killer emoji ray! -__- 😊👍🏼😎🐈”

                      “OMG emojis are super cool,” the narrator comments.

                      “Ouch!” God 1 says. “I’m dead! His emoji ray was so powerful that it killed me! Because I am dead, you are a god now. Wow, I can’t believe I was replaced by a human. Whoops, I’m still talking even though I died!”

                      “What awesome comic relief!” The narrator shouts in a shocked voice because he is shocked.

                      “I’m a god now!” Character 1 yells.

                      THE END

                        RachelRuth if you already posted it, then share it, although I'm no one special, hopefully I can give some feedback.

                            I think the thing I don't like the most about that kind of route is when they are given "cheat" abilities. It seems like they have an overwhelmingly unfair advantage that they didn't earn at all from the start. I'd rather they just have the natural abilities and knowledge they had before going to the other world.

                              I'm fine with cheat abilities if it drives a narrative or fits into the plot in some way. The 'OP for no other reason than God gave it to me for wish fulfillment' is what makes me go ughhhhh.

                                Piggy What I got from all that is that the system with gods transmigration is not your cup of tea, that doesn't make it or the system novels trash.

                                There are a lot of novels on Webnovel and I'm sure there would be many that have what you're looking for, but you haven't found them because 'maybe' the ones that you hate are generally the ones that people like more. There is a reason they are high in rankings after all.

                                I love those novels even if some of those have wish fulfilment, because that is "Fantasy" ,a world where you can make anything and do anything. It's an escape from the serious world.
                                Nothing wrong with them being light hearted instead of being full on mystery.

                                Anyway, hope you find what you're looking for.

                                    Maverick82 True, having knowledge of the world or the future in general is enough, gaining a system or an advantage simply makes it boring and easy to predict the future direction of the novel.

                                        Aizukii dude, if you read what I previously said, you would realise I only hate the majority of system novels, those being fanfictions and originals. Personally I enjoy system novels greatly, but it depends on how the author situates the protagonists use of the system and if it's their main source of strength. If the sole reason for the protagonists strength is from the system, then it would be boring, take it away and their nothing. In contrast, protagonists that aren't solely powerful because of their system but their knowledge and their utilisation of it, like "The Legendary Mechanic" then it becomes enjoyable to read, not like those garbage fanfictions that solely rely on the use of systems.

                                            Piggy That's what we call personal preference ¯_(ツ)_/¯ You not liking something doesn't mean it's not good. You're just saying why you don't like what you don't like and I get that. Again, it's personal preference. It does not many the story you like good or bad for others.

                                                Aizukii yeah, and what? Am I wrong? Authors who use systems don't feel the need to explain how the protagonist aquires their power. It's the easy way out. Authors who rely on systems are simply writing their own fantasies, dictating it for their own pleasure. Well, that's my preference.

                                                    3 years later
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