lilGoat

Also your writing is pretty good, tone down the complexity in certain parts.

Writing with too many hard hitting words will make the reader not understand, and writing too long will drown out certain words like white noise.

What I'm saying is you need some simpler sentences. AND SIMPLER PARAGRAPHS. Reading your paragraphs can be extremely ailing and mind-slogging since all of them are going into what I call "essay length".

That aside though, I really enjoy your writing. It's extremely visual.

    lilGoat

    Your writing is quite impressive. The details, descriptions, diction and sentence structure in the novel are amazing. We have polar opposite writing styles: yours is much more solemn and description heavy, while mine tends to be a lot more dialogue focused and satirical.

        Admisful

        read, the writing is easy to follow, and the idea of your novel will probably be fun for others.

        I don't really want to read another system novel tho, but your book will probably be popular for general audiences.

        First two chapters are kind of boring tho.

            Ysabel_xox

            Your novel is slice of life, so far. The prologue made it seem like it was going to be some sort of revenge/heartbreak story lol.

            I just think you need to speed up the pace, work on your writing a bit, and the characters.

                Chantielu

                quick question to you, how come your dynamic web novel and web novel site have different covers?

                dynamic.webnovel vs. web novel.com

                    Chantielu

                    not bad writing, I'm not sure where the story is going, so far tho.

                    Chapter 9

                        sharrnister

                        ehh, your novel has some of the same themes as heaven's official blessing.

                        and I enjoyed 3/4 of that novel (HOB), (didn't really care all that much for the romance tho).

                        However, I don't really like reading your novel? Sorry, I dunno. HOB has mystery and humor, and a compelling intrigue that is established in the first chapter. I'll continue reading to see if my opinion changes later. Up to chapter 12 rn.

                            1st_Manga_KING
                            link it next time, I'm lazy as a Cheeto, and a Cheeto can't move, y'know.

                                1st_Manga_KING

                                problems with writing and tropes. also use the author's notes, it's there for a reason.

                                    AuHNG
                                    Can I ask you one thing though, as I've heard some of these critiques before, but regarding the story progression, how big of a turn off is it for you as a reader that it's slow? Or that it is unclear at this point where it's headed?

                                        1st_Manga_KING

                                        your novel has a similar beginning to two webtoons I read, something about princesses, a father who's kind of a douche, and a sexist society that the fl has to change.

                                        I didn't like reading them.

                                        Anyways, I dunno, I'll continue reading maybe later. Chapter 6 right now.

                                            lilGoat

                                            No, I wouldn't say it's terrible, as I'd probably continue reading your novel out of all the novels I read so far. Still I get bored really quickly.

                                            Maybe make it 1.5 times faster.

                                                lilGoat

                                                I suffer from slow progression too, but it's mainly because I have 60 chapters already written that I'm currently polishing, and everything I'm writing is filler as I finish doing that.

                                                    nishidurani

                                                    I don't read locked novels, but it seems like your last novel is decently popular with 200 collections, which is pretty great.

                                                        nishidurani

                                                        Tell me one book to read specifically, and I'll add it to my collection, but I am too tired to read four books right now.

                                                            Pakohoshino29

                                                            Chapter 1: Don't do this.

                                                            If you're going to do this, make it a bit more interesting, like maybe add their favorite foods or something.

                                                            You don't want character cards.

                                                            Or,

                                                            if you want something interesting, maybe write one chapter where you incorporate all those character traits. But whatever, since you already done that, all I'm saying is make that character list more interesting.

                                                                Web Novel Novel Ask