I can't say I have more advice for you, other than keep on writing.
I don't really have time to give specific critique
Not a review swap, but free collection adds
the blurb is bad, but the writing isn't.
AuHNG Oof I really need to improve my grammar lol. English is not my main language so it's a little hard for me. Thanks for giving my story a chance. We have different tastes or opinions so I understand. Thanks for the honest opinion!
I don't really like romance. Romance is extremely boring to me, unless it's fluff or just this respectful romance that builds after years of connection.
If it's a fl novel, I find that the guy is usually rich, usually "mysterious", "possessive", "player", and also extremely boring to me.
I read way too many romances when I was younger for it to be interesting for me, and most romance novels are girl--> guy and not guy--> girl. Though, I've also read a lot of harems, and disliked those, too.
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I'm just telling you that most high schoolers/college students curse. Some don't, but nobody really makes a huge deal.
The mc is way too innocent, but considering he's a "young master" type, eh.
I read up to chapter 20.
So, that's why I'm saying that it's unrealistic. In fact you could make the characters down a couple years, because highschoolers, even the freshmen go to parties and some of them drink. (Technically illegal)
All in all, the writing is not bad, but it's not phenomenal either, aka it's not something I would read simply because the writing is fantastic. A little too much tell in some parts, but first person novel, so I guess. en
Finished reading up to chapter 10, I believe.
Not bad, but too much info dump exposition at certain parts that bore me.
I despise reading that.
Anyways, I don't have anything to say about the romance. The story's ok, plot development is slow, I don't know where you're trying to go, maybe I shouldn't have skimmed the info dumps, but this is what happens.
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Also your writing is pretty good, tone down the complexity in certain parts.
Writing with too many hard hitting words will make the reader not understand, and writing too long will drown out certain words like white noise.
What I'm saying is you need some simpler sentences. AND SIMPLER PARAGRAPHS. Reading your paragraphs can be extremely ailing and mind-slogging since all of them are going into what I call "essay length".
That aside though, I really enjoy your writing. It's extremely visual.
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AuHNG Hey, I already add your book to my library. https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/18425139706769805?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4314144361
Your novel is slice of life, so far. The prologue made it seem like it was going to be some sort of revenge/heartbreak story lol.
I just think you need to speed up the pace, work on your writing a bit, and the characters.
blurb has some mistakes.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-tenth-victim_18705056705660905
this is a thriller novel with lots of twists and mysteries!
ehh, your novel has some of the same themes as heaven's official blessing.
and I enjoyed 3/4 of that novel (HOB), (didn't really care all that much for the romance tho).
However, I don't really like reading your novel? Sorry, I dunno. HOB has mystery and humor, and a compelling intrigue that is established in the first chapter. I'll continue reading to see if my opinion changes later. Up to chapter 12 rn.
1st_Manga_KING
link it next time, I'm lazy as a Cheeto, and a Cheeto can't move, y'know.
problems with writing and tropes. also use the author's notes, it's there for a reason.
your novel has a similar beginning to two webtoons I read, something about princesses, a father who's kind of a douche, and a sexist society that the fl has to change.
I didn't like reading them.
Anyways, I dunno, I'll continue reading maybe later. Chapter 6 right now.
four novels? wow.
I don't read locked novels, but it seems like your last novel is decently popular with 200 collections, which is pretty great.
Tell me one book to read specifically, and I'll add it to my collection, but I am too tired to read four books right now.
Chapter 1: Don't do this.
If you're going to do this, make it a bit more interesting, like maybe add their favorite foods or something.
You don't want character cards.
Or,
if you want something interesting, maybe write one chapter where you incorporate all those character traits. But whatever, since you already done that, all I'm saying is make that character list more interesting.
AuHNG
I understand that we have different preferences. Still I appreciate the time you spent reading it. At least you think my writing was not bad, which was what I was going for.
This is my first time to write, so I am still trying to get the feel of it. Developing my style and trying to gauge the interest of the readers. I am slowly learning from the critics and suggestions that I am getting from people like you who are not afraid to say the truth.
I was not expecting it to be phenomenal, but if I could entertain a few readers, then it would be great. I still want to give quality books that is worthy of a person’s time, so I really wanted to improve on it.
Thanks again for saying your opinion about it.
Don't write in present for novels, except for certain scenarios, first person perspective, and interpersonal/command usages. Novels generally should be with past tense. Present tense is very exposition-heavy, like someone is describing something to you, versus actually being immersed in the novel itself.
Anyways, I'll continue reading before I add any further critique
Also that, plus romance is like a genre that I over-read. I've read at least a hundred webtoon this year, and around 50 novels? Anyways, a good majority of them have romance. I would say that only a handful are romance-oriented and I actually enjoyed.
Try to see which romance novels you really like and emulate their style.
Also stay away from tropes.
ok maybe I'll enjoy it. I like thriller.
advice replace said with different words occasionally. Not gonna say anymore, until I read more.
I skipped to the latest chapters and they show extreme development in grammar and writing abilities, but the beginning is really hard to get through. Seems like the development is good tho. I really suggest for now, going back and editing past chapters.
Here's mine if you want to take a look Sea of the Forsaken
I'll go ahead and add yours to my collection
You need to be better at establishing atmosphere for a thriller novel.
Your blurb feels like a summary for a book report rather than an actual blurb.
Anyways, gonna continue reading.
Your writing has developed a style which is good, I can immediately see that in the first few paragraphs.
bad news is that some parts are still awkward strung together.
Characters are pretty distinct from another, but I really don't want to read another romance, so I might continue it later. added to collection.