Del_Maibam hi, finished yours. Sorry if being blunt but maybe you should do an edit with grammar and typos in mind. Also, try to sort out the (2 days ago, 3 days later things). It felt disjointed. Again, sorry if I'm being too blunt. It's a good story but I think it could be much better with an edit. Feel free to disagree.

    Del_Maibam wanna swap with me? It's okay if you give a negative review but don't give low marks. My review is getting lower to lower day by day. I will do the same after getting my review 😉

      Davidwatts6957 done. But the dialogues were unbelievable at best. They don't work that way and you should focus on tense and grammar as well. Hope I'm not being too harsh

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