ihatepower_45 Bro, just in the first screen, 'I' is used too many times uselessly. You should remove them. And maybe if you agree, shouldn't a girl whom you are mentioning as a fighter have authoritative or majestic vice rather than an angelic one. Also your tone goes more like third person than first person POV.

Anyways I will give you a five star review and give me one.

    ArnoldAdi99 I have a bad habit of writing in writing in third person. Also main character is a dude lol, no matter how much I edit it everyone keep calling him a girl.

      Web Novel Novel Ask