Title: I am a Farmer

Genre: Fantasy

Synopsis: When everyone is painstakingly cultivating to raise their rank

When everyone is traveling for experience

When everyone is doing their best to improved

I am here farming inside my miniworld

" What's so good about being an S rank? I am a farmer who can kill you with one slap "

" What did you say? You have a thousand army of A ranks? Listen, when my pet roars the army you're proud of will cower in fear"

I am a cheat myself so what can you do? Then transmigrate to other world to get your own system sucker's

"I can create a million SS rank army of my own if I want to"

"If you don't want your small kingdom got flatten, get out of my sight dumbass"

Follow the adventure of a farmer whose life was idle even in a chaotic world " VLODY "

Link: https://m.webnovel.com/book/i-am-a-farmer_20320703006361505

    Title: I am a Farmer

    Genre: Fantasy

    Synopsis: When everyone is painstakingly cultivating to raise their rank

    When everyone is traveling for experience

    When everyone is doing their best to improved

    I am here farming inside my miniworld

    " What's so good about being an S rank? I am a farmer who can kill you with one slap "

    " What did you say? You have a thousand army of A ranks? Listen, when my pet roars the army you're proud of will cower in fear"

    I am a cheat myself so what can you do? Then transmigrate to other world to get your own system sucker's

    "I can create a million SS rank army of my own if I want to"

    "If you don't want your small kingdom got flatten, get out of my sight dumbass"

    Follow the adventure of a farmer whose life was idle even in a chaotic world " VLODY "

    Link: https://m.webnovel.com/book/i-am-a-farmer_20320703006361505

    You can give your honest review about my work if you like it. Thanks

      Hi @Yoan_Roturier
      I'd like to join your discord if you will permit. You are very thorough in your reviews. I like that.

      I will also like an honest review please.
      Thanks.

        PinkLemons

        Hi man, thanks for the compliment but I do think the guy up there Epyonnn is more thorough than I am. Because I am what I like to call an instinctual writer. I can't actually back up my advices that well, at least that's how I feel. However, I can somehow feel some sort of flows from novels. Don't ask me how, it's just how it is after reading a certain number of novels. lol...

        Hum, about joining my discord server. I'll be straight, I've never really exchanged with you before on the forum. Even if it's not something of big server with top authors, I still do some sort of background check on the people I invite. No offense buddy. Maybe once I'll get to know you a bit better and after reading your work. Do get more active on this page, swap reviews with other people, and stuff.

        As for you review, I've got a lot of stuff to do for now. But I'll check it out eventually. Just don't expect it to be this week or even next week.

            @Epyonnn

            Y.R. Honest review #4

            Title: Non-Player Character

            Author: Epyonnn

            Chapters read: Until chapter 8

            So hum… I don’t have much to say but well, I’ll get into it.

            Story, Character Design, Wording, Grammar and World Building are good.

            Story:

            An interesting intake on the genre. Not a revolution per see but interesting in the way that the character doesn’t find himself in the with the help of some kind of divine being after suicide. It’s in fact logical enough to be believable.

            Character Design:

            Apart from the minor detail, I found that you know of, and that’s because I’m a bastard who smells poop from afar, I’ve got nothing to say.

            Good character evolution, at least the main character. I haven’t read about the others but since the story turned out to be told form the MC’s point of view (first person,) then it leaves fewer chances for other characters to grow. Unless we switch to their point of view. But that might get confusing in the long run. Maybe, maybe not. Just food for thoughts.Also, if you wanna test something that aren’t common but does work you can use first person while telling the story of your own MC and third person while telling the story of other characters. A great example of that is a novel I recommend: “Beware of Chicken.” You’ll find it on Royal Royal and a few other sites.

            Wording/Grammar:
            What do you even want me to say about this? I make more mistakes than you do lol. I’ve spotted no issues so far.

            World Building:
            Well… it is vast. I’ve just started reading into the world-building of the game itself and it does feel boundless. I’ll continue to read the story from time to time and might just give you an update on that one.

            Advice:

            Alright, but I did find something you might already know or just might be interested in knowing.

            Here’s the thing: it’s too bookish.

            To understand/explain what I’m trying to say let me first talk about something you probably didn’t take into account, or you did, I don’t know.

            ACCELERATION

            I do not know if this is the proper word in English, since it’s not my native language, but that will do, I hope. What is acceleration? It’s a concept that internet worsened or we could even say gave birth to. The world, since internet’s creation accelerated, or strictly speaking our daily lives did.

            Our daily lives don’t even compare to our grandparent's slow-type life. I won’t linger on this ‘cause there is so much to talk about.

            But to put it in a nutshell, we do much more in one day than the previous generation did.

            This leads to a lot of issues people aren’t aware of it or just downright choose to ignore it.

            And one of them is “wanting everything right now,” meaning impatience.

            What does that have to do with online novels? Very simple, if your first chapter, no, your first paragraph isn’t interesting, people will let go. I’m not saying yours isn’t interesting, it actually is.

            However, it might not be interesting for the current trends. I was waiting for something like your character kicking asses in-game right at the first or second chapter, but didn’t find that.

            What I found is something really well written. I found myself sailing during calm weather. No waves, no storms whatsoever. It was a good flow. But… It was not boring but more like… a refreshing walk on the beach? Not that entertaining.

            The main character has struggles, but he is kinda pathetic to look at. And I came to understand that a lot of people like to watch OP MC on this website which your MC isn't. And that's not a bad thing.

            How-the-very-ever, your MC doesn’t show even a particular talent, he’s kinda plain to look at. We already know that he’s in the top 5 but there is nothing really showing it.

            I thought he would be really different in the game but he just had to ask advice from Grace during the first raid showed in your novel. And this guy got duped by a small time character. To me, it’s not befitting a guy from the top 5. Although, all those aspects were very justified in your novel, there is something that doesn’t click there to me.

            I think that you're trying to build an non too op character at first, or maybe he'll become downright OP in the near future. But I think you should give something for your readers to chew on before that happens.

            Which brings me back to this: it’s too bookish.

            Meaning it’s something I would find in a library with a slow but, interesting starter for those who know how to appreciate it, that works on making an overall build-up to emphasize the climax.

            But as I see it, there is a need in online novels to have some semi-climaxes here and there, at least until your readers are well hooked. Meaning when they will not leave the story unless something extremely major happens. That's why I think a lot of people write shit tons of fight scenes to keep readers somewhat interested despite the lack of real depth to their story.

            Although I’m saying this, but I’m really in the same situation as you are. That’s why I’m experimenting with a few things.

            Anyway, I hope that was useful. Keep in mind that this is my take on it and what I've come to realize. Whatever you decide in the end is your choice.

            Since I couldn’t really find anything else to say, I emphasized this point since I find it important. And ended up making a very long review in the process... LOL. That was unplanned for.

            Read you later mate.

              Hey! I'm looking for some constructive critism on my story! It's a bit on the dry side I feel and I'm worried if the pacing or the content is too boring... If you have any insight or advice I'm all ears!

              My quiet life

              alernatetext

              https://www.webnovel.com/book/my-quiet-life_19715913005014005

              Synopsis

              In a world where rank, blood-ties and religion are intertwined; Silika Everest was living an idyllic life as the third child of the Marquess of Oblon.

              That is until a faithful incident changed her life in ways she could never have imagined.

              That day her quiet life began. An unforgiving life where all odds are stacked against her.

                Yoan_Roturier Thanks for your input!
                Yeah, the whole acceleration thing was an issue that I recognized since planning the first stages of my story. I tried to make the first few chapters go by as fast as possible, but there was just so much that I had to pack into it for the sake of developing Claudia. It's one of the things about my story that I hate but need to have.

                As for the MC not being very talented at the game, it's because he isn't. He's only top 5 because he's played it so much. Even a veteran player will need info on new bosses for games. Should I have been more upfront about this point?

                Anyway, if there's something to take from your critique, it's to CURSE THE INTERNET FOR MAKING KIDS' ATTENTION SPANS SO SHORT!

                But, oh well. I've just always been the dude to write his story however he wants. Even if I can't appeal to the majority of readers, I can at least appeal to some of them, and that's what matters to me.

                    @JFLGoiri I gave your novel a read, and here are my thoughts:

                    First off, there are waaaaaaay too many semicolons. They tend to break the flow of sentences just as much as periods, and I suggest combing clauses using conjunctions. Usually, semicolons are a stylistic choice since they can be replaced by periods, but try not to go too ham. Reading the paragraph feels like driving a car but slamming the brakes right after hitting the acceleration.

                    Next, dialogue should be in its own separate paragraphs. Please refer to a website on how to format and punctuate dialogue. As a rule of thumb, you should only have dialogue within a paragraph if it is absolutely necessary for the context. If you want, you can still attach a sentence or two with the dialogue tag.

                    I also wanted to mention your use of onomatopoeia. They're fine, but I personally don't enjoy reading too many of them. Usually, you only want to use onomatopoeias to emphasize certain noises and increase their impact on the story. Otherwise, it's usually preferable to just describe the sound. Keep in mind that onomatopoeias are stylistic choices, and this is just personal advice.

                    Other than those few points above, remember to proofread your work and study some grammar. I feel that your story was exciting (I'll give my thoughts about the story in the next paragraph), but the sentence structure really took me out of the immersion. It's okay to have style, but too much style can be distracting. Try to stay closer to conventional sentence structure to prevent reader confusion.

                    As for the story, it starts off quite well. The reader is simultaneously introduced to action AND a mystery. You already know I was oozing with excitement. There isn't much of the story yet, but you did a good job of setting up the world and the main characters, so there isn't much else to say about it. Just try not to crash a burn, and you're all set.

                    Finally, I wanted to talk about your synopsis. Because it's too short, it barely gives any context to your story. The line "Now he has to play a significant role in an interplanar war while learning to control his new found abilities and understanding his past." is great for capturing the readers' attention, but why is the war happening, and what's going on with the world? (also, as a side note, "new found" is supposed to be one word). I suggest visiting https://blog.reedsy.com/write-blurb-novel/ for a step-by-step guide on writing a synopsis/blub.

                    Epyonnn Sure sounds good! I'll also have a look at yours and let you know what I think!

                      Epyonnn
                      You're welcome.

                      As long as you're satisfied with your book mate, that's all that matters. :)

                          Yoan_Roturier
                          Sure. No problem.
                          I'm actually real active on the forum, but I just recently changed my book cover and profile picture so I look brand new now😂

                          I have swapped regular reviews, but not these crazy detailed types. I'm just attracted by your legit effort so...

                          Yeah, whenever you feel comfy enough I guess.

                          Thanks.

                              Web Novel Novel Ask