Yoan_Roturier Hello! I'll start by saying that this is a great idea considering most readers don't leave reviews even when they like the content and review swap is usually just 5 stars which supports authors but also omits any criticism that could lead to any actual improvement.

I hope you're having a great day, and considering the honest review, I understand it takes a lot of time and if you are busy don't mind the message.
If you are ever free and have the will to review my book, thank you in advance!
It may not be much, but I like your book The Return of The Woodcutter and will support it!

That aside, here is my novel.

Title: Four Rules To Live A Long Life
Sypnosis: Rule N°1: There are 100 worlds.
Rule N°2: Each world contains a breach to reach the next world.
Rule N°3: Progression is linear.
Rule N°4: Death is eternal.

We will wait for you at the top.

Yohan was a victim of war, having died in the midst of conflict.
To compensate from his unjust death, he was given the opportunity to become a World Climber, navigating upwards through the 100 worlds in hopes of one day reaching the mysterious 1st world.

Genre: Fantasy

Link: http://wbnv.in/a/03g2Ngj

Thank you very much! Have a good day!

      Donniedrako15_
      It's quite a coincidence that we both are writing heist, though mine is with sword and magic.
      Just finished reading the first five chapters. Here's my thought.

      First the book cover, you should change it to something fancy. In my opinion, go with something that shows the whole crew like in the suicide squad or now you see me poster.

      Second the title and synopsis, the title is fine it worked well with your theme. Good Job there. But there are a few problems with the synopsis. You tell only about the premise of the story there's nothing about the protagonist. Also, clear out the prominent plot and subplot a bit in it. Show the conflict a bit as well.

      And now the main issue.
      The very first chapter is quite interesting, good job there. Readers would be able to find the theme immediately after reading the first chapter.
      Your writing style is more than decent at the level of WN as far as I'm concerned. You showed the inner feeling quite well as well as the outer action. Maybe a little work on the place the characters were in would help it better.
      I like there's a flaw in the magic system... Nowadays most would forget that and rained their characters with awful overpower shit.
      I won't talk more about what you did well as I can tell you already know what you're good at.

      Now the cons of The Cons (bad pun 😅)
      The main problem that I found in your writing was PACING. I know how hard pacing can be it's where most aspiring writers struggled (I'm included). Here's a piece of common advice for pacing: shorter paragraphs mean fast pace, broader para means slow pace. It works on most occasion. The paragraphs on the second and third chapters were quite long, some even touching the two hundred words mark. While on the fifth chapter where you introduced Omna's perspective I think it will work well if you slow down the pace, even more, add more description and inner feeling into it.

      The second con was the POV. You worked quite well in the first four chapters. But when you introduce Omna or the boss in their POV it kinda felt unnatural to me. Well, that's one of the limitations of 1st person POV. AND do remember to never write down who's POV it is. It should be in the writer's expertise to slip in who the narrator is. You can add just a line like this: Omna felt ominous in her whole body as she struggled to rise up from the bed...

      Apart from that, there's no major issue I could see. Well, there were a few redundant sentence and telling rather than showing. These come with experience. Overall good writing. I'll gave you a thumbs up.

          Yoan_Roturier You should sleep well, it is really important. I do a lot of night browsing so I am not the best person to give this advise but you should rest while you can, it is really important for mental health.

            SpilledInk he’s an amazing kid🥰 4 going on 10😂 I mainly write while he does his ABC mouse, eats, sleeps, etc.. I refuse to sacrifice my playtime with him, unless he tells me that he wants to play by himself(it’s rare, and only when it’s his video game time😂). My mom helps out A Lot too. I have the Best Mom Ever❤️

                RAQN
                Then no, it isn't worth your time since your goal differs from the 10 ratings' purpose. Do ask for people to look at your work here, it should be helpful to accomplish your current goal.

                  Sure:

                  • Immersion
                  • Fantasy
                  • A lover of stories, Mono has always preferred reading or writing about characters and their conflicts over dealing with his own. One night, he wakes up to an insane, yet familiar scene from a story he has read: a grey room, a goddess, and a journey to a fantasy-like world. Forced to leave Earth and survive in the other world for a year, Mono explores magic rooted in human perception while he confronts issues both external and internal.
                  • https://www.webnovel.com/book/immersion_19846974305444305

                  Would like to preface that the first chapter (prologue) is intentionally cliche. Since it was also my first attempt at fictional writing ever, it's also bad that way too. Chapters are called chapters to help me plot out minor arcs/themes involving side characters rather than being chapters for the readers.

                  I'm looking for overall impressions and suggestions on current pacing, presentation of information, and depictions of characters.

                    SpilledInk
                    One thing you should know about me. If you wanna ask me something, cute ways aren't the best. :P
                    Hahaha.

                    Eeee... for the discord tag go to the bottom left-hand corner of your discord window. There you will see your name, just click on it and it will copy your tag then you'll just have to paste it anywhere you want people to know about it.

                    Like here for example. But you looked at me with cute eyes... Hahah
                    Just give me the tag, I'll send you an invite.

                        Yoan_Roturier

                        First, thank you so much!

                        1. Your reading notes: I admit that when I wrote Volume 0, I wasn't sure either to write it or not but then, I was conflicted because I have to mention the love interest name on the blurb. I think of adding Jun's name as well and delete the name parts on Volume 0

                        2. Positive stuff: I kind of want to steer away from the one-night-stand that I often come across on WebNovel, even though most come from the translated C-books. As for Jun, hehe, I have plans for him but it's not my cup of tea to turn my characters into stupid villains or A-hole. Still need to think of the character development tho

                        3: Less positive stuff: Yes, I do have problems with phrases and all. That's why I tend to keep my paragraphs short just to make sure I don't overdo it 😂 I really need to brush up on my writing skills as well as the use of phrases

                        I love to read but I don't know how to write constructive reviews so your offer really helps me a lot. Thank you so much for your time!

                          Yashima099

                          Honest review #2
                          Title: Didn’t I say make me famous in my next life?
                          Author: Yashima099
                          Chapters read: until the latest update (chap 3)

                          Reading notes (Those are my notes. Might not make sense but I still wanted to leave it here):

                          Past tense and present tense confusing

                          Heart warming dialogs intent. But counteract by bad grammar and turns of phrases.

                          Punctuation issues

                          Overuse of capital letters

                          Volume 0 Character sheet. Bad for mystery

                          Huge description paragraph. No purpose.

                          Flow problem

                          Story: Hum too soon to judge. But it took you three chapters to get to the point where he revives. A tad too much to my opinion. A bit slow.

                          World building: At this stage, I really can’t judge. It’s too early. If I’ve read 10 or so chaps then maybe, I would be able to. But I saw some inspiration from Greek and other mythological gods. Sounds interesting so far.

                          Character design: They look alright and distinct from one another. However, according to your Volume 0 I can say that you put some thought into it. But, you do have the same issue as Honest Review #1. I don’t know where trend to make character sheets or reveal your characters in an annex doc come from. I think it’s really weird. It chases away the mystery of the story and even the characters. Your sheets were particularly detailed. Too detailed to my opinion. Writing serves as the thread linking your story to your readers mind. However, if the thread is to thick it won’t enter the holes by which they enter readers mind. If it’s too small it will sever. Okay, all that chinese quote thing to say, don’t be too descriptive about characters. I’ve once read a guy with perfect english and descriptions. But what a bore his story was. It was like he could describe a guy taking a single step forward with 2000 words. Sounds boring right? Anyway, just don’t take away your readers imagination.

                          Writing quality: My favorite, because I hate it as much as you probably do. Okay, prepare yourself, fasten your seatbelt, wear an armor, etc. Ready? Okay. It took me out of the story. I don’t know how the people the comment sections did, but I sure had a hard time. In chapter 1, I tried my best to stay focus, chapter 2, my mind started to waver, chapter 3 it was already elsewhere. I left you some paragraph comments to point out some of them. But here’s the gist of it:
                          - Punctuation: You should check out punctuation rules online. Maybe you’re trying to give your story a certain style with specific punctuation. I get it. But if you don’t master the basics, it won’t be believable. To me, it wasn’t. Another point, careful with your paragraphs. The bigger they are the harder they fall. It hurts eyes. Break those up.

                          • Wording and weird turn of phrases: Hum, not much that can be done in that regard. Just read and write.

                          • The Flow: What I call the flow, don’t know if others call it like this (maybe idk), is not some shenanigan about a secret liquid flowing through your texts. It’s much more simple: It’s when the next sentence doesn’t match the previous one. When I say matching, it doesn’t necessarly have to contain the same subject. But it does have to be linked in some way. Imagine your every sentence as pieces of a single road. A perfect flow is a flat road on which you can easily walk. A bad flow is a rocky road stuffed with crevaces, holes and what not.

                          Here’s a little bonus to help you improving your writing quality.

                          Dialog correction example: Exctract from chapter 1.

                          Original: “Ever since your dad left, my life becomes so empty, gloom and confusing, but then you always bring light to my loneliest day, keep me warm with your hugs and keep my mind straight whenever you’re near me, Luca, you became my life. But since then, you became independent and always took care of me. I love you so much son.”

                          Suggestion:

                          “Your dad’s departure left me empty… alone. Life turned gloomy, confusing even. But you…” She smiled warmly, “you’ve always shone like a little sun, brightening up my life day after day, chasing away the loneliness and confusion. You became my everything. And even when you gained your independence, you still took care of me. For that, and many more reasons, my son, I love you.”

                          Stuff like this, not my best but I don’t have enough stamina for more. Also, don’t consider using it for your novel. It’ll be too different from what you wrote before and won’t benefit your flow. That’s it for now. Cya amigo.

                              RAQN it’s beneficial if you specifically state that that is your intention. Readers on Webnovel barely glance at books that don’t have ratings yet, unless the cover and/or synopsis is truly captivating. Readers are a great source of honesty(the ones that do comment), so I do suggest attempting the rating, at least. I hope this helped☮️❤️😁

                              • RAQN replied to this.

                                  Jo_J are you able to see the chapter notes I’m leaving? Just want to make sure before I move on to the second chapter. Those are just immediate things that can be corrected. I will still give an overall review on here as well; just wanna make sure that the additional stuff is making it’s way to you😁

                                      @Jo_J Please remember that all critiques are done with love❤️ It is all personal opinion, and completely up to you to decide what to do with. Ignore it, or use it: it’s up to you.

                                      Synopsis: Personally, I find it a bit lacking. I like that it explains what type of story you’re about to read, but it has no real details about the book’s plot(names, characters’ connections, etc..). I do like that it tells you that it pertains to the editorial world of a male magazine business, but having ‘betrayal’ on there twice is a bit redundant. I would switch one of them out with either ‘deception’, or ‘treachery’.(my thesaurus is my best friend😂)

                                      Story Plot: it’s hard to comment on because I only read the first three chapters, but what I gleaned from them is that the narcissistic editor had invited the new chief editor over for dinner. He has the flashback of their first meeting, but that was it. So far so good, but I would also introduce/tease the forementioned betrayal. Something like: ‘the dinner was just the first step to his intricate plot..’ Just as a hook at the end of the first chapter.

                                      World building: You are doing very well with this so far. The food descriptions, clothes, etc.. Are all described very well. I would suggest adding room descriptions, but that usually depends on the amount of time that the characters will be spending in each room, per scene. If they’re going to be spending a lot of time at his place or the office, describe things like window sizes, wall and/or color/texture, table arrangements, amount of light in the room, etc.. This will help the readers better picture the scenes in their mind’s eye.

                                      Technicals: I didn’t see any misspellings, but there are a lot of sentence structure errors like running sentences, punctuation errors, and past/present mixups. What helps me is to read the sentence out loud. If you have to take a breath while saying the sentence, then there should be a comma, semicolon, or a colon. Depending on the length of the pause or emphasis you want within the sentence, or if there is a specific point being made within the sentence. Also, be careful about your wordage. I had left a comment about using ‘vast’ instead of ‘enormous’, but here’s another example:

                                      In(I think) chapter two you had called the FM’s skin ‘silky’ when they had first met. You need to say ‘silky-looking’ since he hadn’t actually touched her yet.

                                      Overall: It’s an interesting story, but it needs a hook to carry the reader into the next chapter. There were also unnecessary things at the start of some sentences like ‘besides’. Starting sentences like that is meant to connect/extend large thoughts or details together. Overall I think your book has great potential, especially here on Webnovel(once some editing is done). I hope you found this helpful. I apologize if anything sounded mean; I swear it wasn’t meant to😅 It’s difficult to be delicate online😅

                                        Sara_Wilcox

                                        Thank you so much <3
                                        unfortunately this is what it looks like to throw in a traditional novel as webnovel

                                        Thanks a lot for the 'language' knowledge.
                                        You didn't sound mean at all. that should look an honest review.

                                            Jo_J would you like me to post it on the book reviews? Or keep it here? It was for Anemones.

                                            I don’t use InkStone either. I do all my writing through the app. I think that the comments should show in the:
                                            Profile > Inbox > Chapter Comments.(on the app)

                                            They won’t show in the chapters themselves, but you should see a copy of them all in there. You’ll at least see the chapter and paragraph that the issue was in, then decide what to do yourself.

                                            Thank you for the kind words🥰

                                            • Jo_J replied to this.

                                                I’m just gonna throw mine up here now, in case anyone else would like to review me, aside from Yoan_Roturier

                                                Title: The Aquarian Crown

                                                Genre: Romance Fantasy

                                                Synopsis:

                                                Serenity Espoir was looking forward to her cruise ship vacation with her friends. The events, competitions, and on-deck luaus looked like a lot of fun... Next thing she knows, she’s waking up in a giant clam bed, and being addressed as Queen Iris!

                                                As Serenity adjusts to everything from a new name and body, to an entirely different world; she quickly learns that everything is Not better under the sea...

                                                While her new world does hold untold beauty and possibilities, Serenity will do whatever it takes to find her way back home, and back to the only man that she ever loved.

                                                ‘Is Matt even still alive? Were any of them? Is there even a way to get back home?’

                                                As Serenity’s story progresses, she will encounter Mermaids, Sirens, Selkies, and many more sea creatures and gods than she ever knew existed. As she learns the history behind not only her powers, but why the Aquarian’s world was created in the first place; a Prophecy emerges..

                                                One that not even Poseidon himself can change..

                                                As the Fate of the Cosmos hangs in the balance, All await the rightful ruler: the Heir to the Aquarian Crown.

                                                What will you discover in the depths?

                                                DISCLAIMER. 18+ Content Warning For:

                                                Language, Violence, Gore, War, and Some Sexual Content. VIEWER’S DISCRETION IS ADVISED

                                                *This art/cover is owned by me. Hand clap for the amazing artist: MichelleLeeee [HCBL II ILMA]#5111(on Discord)

                                                Updates will be between 8:00 A.M and 11:00 A.M (GMT+8) 7 DAYS A WEEK

                                                Unless...
                                                Top 50 Trending Ranking: 3 Bonus Chapters
                                                Top 25 Trending Ranking: 5 Bonus Chapters

                                                Check out the Chapter Comment Section and Author’s Notes for Picture References, Tidbits, and Interesting Facts

                                                ————————————————

                                                That is my full synopsis that readers see.

                                                Link:

                                                https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/19772956606343305?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4313201538

                                                I cannot do the picture thing😅

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