NineNeatherBird It's difficult to differentiate who's talking in this skit. I know where your coming from because this is similar to my own writing style.
If you want to take a look I posted some chapters today; however, I recommend separating it to max 5 ppl and then a comment and then the next 5.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/10652815406088805/Beauty-is-Pain
If you want to take a look 00
P.S. I can take criticism