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Megan_Immanuella I doubt there's any way to guarantee you'll get a contract. Now that WN seems to have changed how the contract process works (like, they give you a menu to apply for it in Inkstone) I have even less of an idea than before about what they look for in a contracted novel.

Having a lot more ratings than collections seems weird to me. Did you previously have many more collections but then people removed your story from their library, or is this the most you've ever had? Did you trade reviews for most of the ones you have, or are most of them organic?

I'd expect the two explanations to be either that most of your reviews were from swaps (so they're not left by actual readers) and you don't have many collections, or, if you previously had many more collections but tons of people removed it from their library, then you wrote something that offended or insulted a huge number of readers who all removed their collections.

One way or another, I'd expect a story with as many views as you have, and which has been published for as long as yours has, to have at least three times as many collections, and probably many more.

EldritchBlade some of them like 45 were actual readers while the rest were swaps,Does this affect my chances?

Megan_Immanuella Like I said, I have no idea what your chances actually are. But WN definitely wants to contract stories where they know lots of people will frequently pay money to unlock chapters. Having lots of active readers who are engaged enough to frequently leave comments and keep reading as you release is probably the best goal you can aim for in that regard.

EldritchBlade Oh my world. What I wouldn't give for a review like this on my book. But this is quite good, though. I have some books you might enjoy reading with the level of knowledge you have

Try reading: Justice And Desire and Deadly Bargain

Mallory_reads Well, you clearly have a better understanding of writing than most people on this site, lol.

In Chapter 1 of JnD, this paragraph stood out to me in the beginning:

And although I knew I should be investigating big cases-cases that involved the Bologna or the Morellos, the worst and most dangerous families ruling these streets for lord knew how long, I'd take anything that has to do with protecting civilians in a heartbeat. Even if it meant me chasing dumb criminals who had shit for brains. What could I say? I loved my Job.

Of course, "job" shouldn't be capitalized. The main thing that caught my eye was your parenthetical. You can use a few different ways to give a parenthetical, the first of which is obviously with parentheses:

I went to the store (the one on the other side of town, since the usual one was closed) and bought a turnip.

But the more common ways are with commas and em-dashes.

I went to the store, the one on the other side of town, since the usual one was closed, and bought a turnip.

I went to the store—the one on the other side of town, since the usual one was closed—and bought a turnip.

(I prefer em-dashes to the other methods)

However, in your paragraph, you mix a regular dash with a comma. You should never use a regular dash to offset a parenthetical like this, and you need to make sure you use the same offset character on both sides.

If you're on Windows, hitting the Windows key plus the period key will bring up the character map. You can easily select the em-dash from that, if you're not already using writing software that autocorrects -- to —.

Formatted properly, your sentence would look like:

And although I knew I should be investigating big cases—cases that involved the Bologna or the Morellos, the worst and most dangerous families ruling these streets for lord knew how long—I'd take anything that has to do with protecting civilians in a heartbeat.

In general, aside from the parentheticals, you also should be using an em dash instead of a regular dash to set off lines like this:

I was about to eat lunch—and this time, it would be personal.

Also, definitely make sure to be consistent with your past tense in the narration. "I'd take anything that has to do" should be "I'd take anything that had to do".

On that note, looking at the first paragraph of Chapter 2:

We finally walked through the revolving doors of the local district station, and I smelled the fat-induced, sugar and spice scent of a fuck-load of doughnuts. Really? No wonder all cops get stereotyped as doughnut-eating slobs—because it's true. In all my years in the force, all these fuckers did was prove every horrible thing ever said about them. No wonder they hated me for being the best of them all. Jealousy they say kills.

For this:

No wonder all cops get stereotyped as doughnut-eating slobs—because it's true.

This is fine to have in the present tense because it talks about something continuous and habitual. The narrator's thinking back to the story events from the future, but the stereotype and habit of the cops is still valid to him.

On the other hand:

In all my years in the force, all these fuckers did was prove every horrible thing ever said about them.

This implies the narrator is looking back to the past from a future where he's no longer a cop. If that was your intention, then great. If instead you meant this in a more general way, to say "I'm still a cop and I'm thinking back to my older history as a cop", then you'd want this:

In all my years in the force, all these fuckers had done was prove every horrible thing ever said about them.

Make sure you're separating your actors into their appropriate paragraphs. This:

"Fuck you, Gunner," he groaned and I smirked.

"Funny enough, you're not the first one to say those exact words to me today."

Should be this:

"Fuck you, Gunner," he groaned.

I smirked. "Funny enough, you're not the first one to say those exact words to me today."

The other thing that stood out to me is this is supposed to be contemporary romance, but I was getting, like, 1920s-1930s vibes in the first couple chapters. Especially with lines like:

I hear more cursing than prayer these days, anyway.

And... the fact that Gunner being half-African makes for lots of gossip, with someone calling him "Brown" with a capital B, something that usually refers to Middle Eastern people?

I'm not sure whether this is supposed to mean one of his parents is an African national and so they see him as a weird foreigner with a strange accent, that this is an extremely insular Italian-American community with strong prejudices against black people (which I'd find more believable if the story took place maybe 20 years ago, but would have a bit more trouble beliving in an era where people are talking about their "followers" like the are in the synopsis... from like 2012 onward, probably), or that you as the author aren't hugely familiar with modern American race relations.

It definitely contributes to a feeling that this story took place almost a hundred years ago, rather than in the modern day. Even if it's simply true that one of Gunner's parents is an African national, I'm not sure why that would make people stare and gossip, and it's really strange that he'd refer to himself simply as "African" and not mention the actual country where his parent came from.

Also, the fact that there's no use or mention of modern communications tech in the opening chapters contributes to feeling like a historical setting rather than the modern day, except for the Glock (which could still make it feel like it took place in the 80s to someone who doesn't know when the '23 came out in 2010) until Vanessa shows up and her Facebook page becomes a plot point.

Overall, I didn't get a strong sense of time and place from the opening chapters, and I felt like Gunner's ego clashing with everyone around him got really old really quick.

But then, I'm not a romance or erotica reader, so my tastes are different from your audience. If your readers enjoy what you're writing, then you're doing it right.

ThePotatoKing I have a soft spot for synopses that use quotations from the story, so I liked yours. Your mechanics in the synopsis are pretty bad, though.

1. Never use all caps for emphasis in dialogue or narration, though I think it's fine to use it in sound effect lines (though this isn't exactly standard formatting).

2. Always use punctuation at the end of sentences.

3. Make sure to use only one tense in a given section. This:

Do you ever feel that you were meant for something much greater?

Should be:

Do you ever feel that you are meant for something much greater?

4. Always use double quotes, unless you're already inside double quotes. Then you shift back and forth with single and double quotes as you nest them, like this:

"Today," he said, "We will examine the speech by the evil man known as 'Slim Tim,' particularly his first words: 'There once was a king called "Marcus 'Cool Philosophy man' Jellius"...' which were then followed by these even more evil words..."

5. Never use comma splices. This:

"Welcome to Hell, the only escape is insanity"

Should be this:

"Welcome to Hell: the only escape is insanity!"

Or this:

"Welcome to Hell—the only escape is insanity!"

Here's an edited version of your synopsis:

"You are fucking crazy!"

*BANG!*

The bullet pierced through the man's skull, splattering blood over Sebastian's face. He calmly cleaned his face with a handkerchief, then replied to the corpse, "Maybe... Maybe I am crazy. But I don't know any other way to escape this hell."

He laughed some, he cried some, and he did a bit of both.

If despair was a face, he was wearing it now.
***
Have you ever felt that you were meant for something greater?

Has the real world held you back, constraining your true talents? If you just had the opportunity, could you achieve your true potential?

You're not alone!

Listen: this Earth just doesn't cut it. What you need is a brand new world, one full of new hopes and grand possibilities.

Then allow me to introduce you to the wonderful world of Purgatory!

In this world, "sinners" are invited to take part in regular trials. Every single trial is an uphill battle for survival with death and deception lurking around every corner!

But don't worry!

Only the weak, pathetic masses need to fear all of that. For the chosen few, these trials are instead opportunities for power and supremacy.

Come to Purgatory, sinner! Defeat monsters, devils, and remnants of eldritch entities as you gain glorious rewards and claim their power for your own!

And, even more exciting, fight in battles of wits against other sinners! Wring every drop of potential out of your wretched, wonderful soul, because each encounter is an exciting tango between life and death where the winner takes all!

This is the story of one such sinner. Armed with nothing but the ghosts of his past, watch as Sebastian Alaister crawls his way up to the top and forges his own legend.

Yet... before he can enter Purgatory, Sebastian must first clear the tutorial.

[Your fatal flaw is Extreme Denial]
[Trial Selected—Trauma Re-enactment]

Welcome to Hell. The only escape is insanity!

I recommend removing the author's note and probably the prologue. Every chapter added before Chapter 1 makes it less likely that readers will actually read Chapter 1 because you're using up their "first impression" mental space on non-story content. Good work making it skippable though, lol. Most writers don't understand that they can't put anything important in the prologue because so many readers skip them.

I don't like your opening in "Happy Birthday ... to me!" Your various descriptions of Alaister in the opening two paragraphs seem contradictory and nonsensical to me. Even besides that, you're just giving me a list of traits and not showing me anything interesting in description or character action.

A lot of your phrases just make no sense to me:

For some reason, the small studio apartment was really crowded this time.

What do you mean "for some reason?" He invited a bunch of family and friends over to his birthday party. That's the reason. "For some reason" means "for an unknown or peculiar reason."

Sebastian really doted on his little sister, even though it wasn't at the level of being a sis-con, it was still quite a bit.

The fact that the narrator's PoV assumes that someone who is affectionate toward his sister might logically want to bang her makes me not want to read any further.

His friends from high school were all laughing merrily, the sounds of laughter drowned his ears, and the smiles on their faces were etched into his sight. It should have been the happiest day of the year.
.
.
.
Nonetheless, he was not happy.

There's no reason to ever use a set of line breaks like this. If you were to denote a new scene, then you should do so with three asterisks, like this:

But when he shot the cat, to his surprise, it turned into a palm tree.
***
Three days later, he was lying in the hospital, recovering from a concussion caused by being savagely beaten with ripe coconuts.

However, you're not doing a scene transition here. The best way to achieve the long, dramatic pause is simply to have a single set of ellipses and use more line breaks, similar to what you do a few lines later.

His friends from high school were all laughing merrily, the sounds of laughter drowned his ears, and the smiles on their faces were etched into his sight. It should have been the happiest day of the year.

Should have been.

But Sebastian was the furthest thing from happy.

Later on, your section with several sets of multiple line breaks that goes into Sebastian's true mental state should be similar to this:

This time he wasn't greeted with the sound of laughter, nor the sight of countless vibrant smiles. None of those people were really cheering, really smiling.

How could they?

After all, most of them...

...Were dead.

In truth, there was no one here with him.

He was all alone in this little room, this studio apartment.

No people. Only trash and laundry.

No laughter, only silence.

The smell around him was not the hot, mingled cloud of countless colognes, but those of moldy laundry and unwashed dishes.

Sebastian was alone.

That said... I really liked the chapter once you started getting into Sebastian's true mental state. be careful about consistency in when you refer to him as "Sebastian" vs "Seb," though. I'm getting the picture that his idealized or self-confident state has the narrator refer to him as "Sebastian," while when he's actively in a miserable or mentally broken state, he's called "Seb," but I have no idea if you just got tired of writing his full name out, lol.

I see your author note in Chapter 2 that you're putting thoughts in single quotes, but I'd strongly recommend putting them between asterisks instead. That's a much more standard way of doing it when you don't have access to italics for thought formatting.

Then there's this bit:

"Are you done?"
"…"
"…"
"… yes, I am done…"

Please, please, please don't format a pause in speech like this. It's just deeply wrong and hurts the reader's ability to figure out who's talking. It should be something like this:

"Are you done?" Seb asked in a flat voice.

Josh met his gaze for a long moment before rolling his eyes. "Yep. I'm done." What a waste of good feelings! For a moment, he'd forgotten how much of a humorless, narcissistic douchebag Seb could be.

That's assuming it was supposed to be Josh thinking that last bit. Your narration is completely unclear on that, lol.

I don't have any time to look at your second story, sorry. I strongly recommend editing all your chapters with the free version of ProWritingAid. It will catch many of your writing issues.

Good luck and keep writing, both you and Mallory_reads !

I'm looking to take on more editing clients in the near future, if anyone is at the point in publishing their stories where they think investing some money in good editing would help their readership.

To be clear, I'm a freelance book editor, not one of Webnovel's "editors" who helps you manage your contract with the site.

If you're interested, you can message me at frothingnome#7517 on Discord. Just be aware that, depending on what you need, the service isn't cheap.

Also feel free to message me with small-scale editing questions and I'd be happy to help out if I have time!

EldritchBlade

Thanks a lot!
This has given me a lot of food for thought in cleaning up my writing style.

This has been really helpful!
I will keep you in mind if I ever am in need for some editing in the future,
Thanks once again!

EldritchBlade idk, but is it possible to check my novel and give a review on my first 6 chapters? You obviously don't have to put the review on my novel and simply put it here, I just wanna know from the beginning what should I improve on etc etc.

https://m.webnovel.com/book/reincarnation-of-the-strongest-demon-emperor_24949945906647605

Kmsnmsn

I'm sorry, but your punctuation and writing mechanics are so bad that it's difficult for me to even try to read your story.

Basic guide on punctuation: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/punctuation/

Learning proper punctuation should be your very first step before doing any more writing.

EldritchBlade The first part of your review depends on people taste. The second is normal cause these people are the Strongest in the world, they wouldn't wanna risk their lives and trump cards without trying to talk it out first. Hence talking is always essential. Or else the story will be pointless if people just start fighting without trying to get around it, these are cultivates after all. One injury can waste them a 100 years of recovery time if not more. But I appreciate your review anyway.

Choka

The first part of your review depends on people taste.

It's all based on the rules of writing in English. I doubt many readers in this genre will care, so you can probably get away with your writing style here... just be aware that there is a proper way of doing it.

The second is normal cause these people are the Strongest in the world, they wouldn't wanna risk their lives and trump cards without trying to talk it out first.

Sorry, I think you're misunderstanding my point. The talking's good! I think it makes a lot of sense, aside from the sheer number of characters you introduce right away and who seem like they're probably not important for a while.

But by ending your first chapter in the middle of the conversation and then continuing it in the second chapter, you're potentially losing readers by telling them they'll need to sit through much more conversation than they actually need to sit through. You'd likely be better off as I suggested, trimming the conversation in the middle so that it concludes at the very end of Chapter 1.

But certainly, if your readers seem to enjoy what you're doing, then that's the most important thing.

Hello All, I am fairly new to Webnovel. I got a contract offer through dm and am still waiting.
But while waiting, I would still like to further improve myself and my story.
Would you mind giving me some advice on improvement?
And do I need to click on the apply contract to contract with WB? or it will become a duplicate?
My novel : ZuoMeng: To Dream.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/zuomeng-to-dream_24984202306740805

EldritchBlade
Thanks for checking it out. I'll love to say that my punctuation marks aren't so bad that someone can't read my book.

I just did the corrections. Most of the punctuation marks are correct.
You should have pointed out the faulty part.

Anyway, thanks for looking at it. I have corrected my mistakes.

Do you know how I can find a proofreader?

Hi, I am writting a novel. It's has 77k words, 48.6k views and collection 287 and chapters is 73.
I applied for the contract in inkstone, approximately 2 months ago. But there is shown continue applying. Now, what can I do?

Rainbow420 that probably means that's your book doesn't mean the requirements to get contracted. Either reflect on your book by starting another and not doing the same mistakes. Or keep going on that book while editing your chapters to be better or improve on story wise... Etc. You can do a lot except for these 2 solutions.

Choka
Thanks a lot.