Okay hell yea sci fi for a change. Lets see.. Dark oh wonderful, romance eh?? Well maybe there is light after dark or so they claim. Nooot entirely sure about the superduper hero power stuff I really dont want to see any failed Marvel moneygrap normal people superhero stuff ever again x,D but advanced technology is always nice.
-Parents Strongly Cautioned makes me think maybe I should only review these/5
-Apocalypse, okay I hope it would have that existential thread of emotion that Falout intros have about the condition of humanity.
-Grammar mistakes/ if you are not native or even if you are use Grammarly premium google for cheaper code tho it drops the price from 144 to 115 dollars. Its only for the year tho, but if you write a lot and would need editing otherwise its for a year pretty decent deal and comes up with a lot of stuff that permit even me to pass text to public without too much of worry.
-Hey have to give a author credit for honest contemplation of his gaming selection its nice to have these kind of reflections. People tend to use auxiliar chapters way too little.
-After nice infodump prelude several chapters are almost purely dialogue with action packed stuff. Could it hurt the actions too much to write in between the changes of skenery, feelings, contemplations and such. When we think any complex solutions there has to be contemplation. Even genius has to weight their odds now and then.
-Also the agency and feeling of what goals are are a bit plurred by the lack of contemplation and thinking with dialogue heavy writing. But yea this is still relativelly easy way to rise the level of writing from action skenario writing to action scifi writing.
Bruuutal fast review on your novel
- Edited
Majer3
Are you still doing this?
Here is mine
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/24074499806938805?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4317688632
Majer3 sure that would be good,
Here is the link
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/24236526305961505?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4321717394
Majer3 Thanks for the review ^^. I will work harder to make the characters and plot interesting.
I am the one who will tell when I stop ;D
Nice humantraficing and dark during the morning tea. Everything is fantastic.
Now I will go see continuation will it appeal in bad light to go woke go broke.inc &entity or will it display the actual true ugliness of the human traficing in its clorious post-imperial manners. Realism after all is the key to the wisdom.
-Com oon guys, slicing? Are you some nannies in the kindergarden. Here is what you are going to do, first you take 30 hungry rats and you put the traitor hanging with the rope on top of bucket just that he can stand on it. Then you let the rats have their meal. When the guy drops you waterboard him, after you give him sock treatment and then its hammer time. And just when they are about dead you treaten them with their family, relatives, fucking pet gerbil if you have to for information acquisition. After, disposin of the body is very nice to do with the pigs. One hungry pig will consume several kilos per minute with the bones so your task of disposing human corpse is guite fast indeed. Alternativelly use chemical methods. Slicing aijaijai
-Mafiaboss with control of europe but doesn't know how to effectively interrogate people/5. There is too many functional things that keep getting me distracted to think that the boss is just a some logal thug and don't have proper skills and manners to be able to conduct multicountry wide organization with countless number of adverseries, interpol, Eu police agreements, and so on. Ok ok its a novel but the guy who even technically could do that would have to be a lot more smarter and a whole a lot more cruel to be realistic.
-back to the story after ranting xD
-Environments could be nice to descripe in the mids of dialogue flow.
-And now you are saying that they are not keepin their damn humans/products in perfect condition for trading? Bad teeths would be the worst for anyone unless they plan to take all the teeth away. Ok ok I don't judge maybe they are doing special delivery. We will see.
-Love is the strangest animal. You have a super genius mafiaboss who despite his incompetence somehow can have hold on whole entirety of europe but he still falls in love with a prepped wallflower who seem to be innosent, after ahem* 2 years of being victim of psychological torture and falls in love with her. Now thats like grand strategy of love novel, you have to make perfect tactics to conquer that heart and be truely in love hormon mixtures to be able to want a broken human without any prospects whilst being super genius criminal mastermind. Thats true love, better than Twilight.
- Edited
Oh we are continuing with the topic of love but this time the love is also pure from the first sight even only to be contract marriage. But as in our last story the "contract" was reinforced eeee guite strongly. Lets see how this one works.
-This half mask fellow on the covers feels familiar to me, have I seen him somewhere.. hmm..
-If the skin is dull, how its complexion is.. beautifull?? Words support or negate the argument of beauty.
-infodupmp flash backs! Im impressed. Its always crusial to do infodump as a story within the story/or valid relatable contemplation.
-Ma Jun the emotional mama's boy awww.
-ah good ol tried and true slavery is back hurray!
-questionmark leading headlines alot OH THUGLIFE okay lets go there. You dont choose thuglife, the thuglife chooses you. Yeaaa boii get in the gaaang maaan try it once sweet easy money gogogogo.
-Ugly and cool oh boy its going to be difficult in the gang after all..
-HAHAHA gets beaten by a woman and 7 year old child so comical gang life x,D
-Otherwise, dialogue/explanation balance is ok, just what Im finding difficult is to track the reasonings or main motives of the each individuals.
Thank you so much for your time and efforts.......this is the best review I ever get. I find your torture tactics are more insane...can come handy at some time. I'm sure to work on my lacking...........sure...........sure your are the boss and tell us when are you going to stop...
Moonwriting
Lol I really had good laugh on the reaction
You are welcome.
Generally since it had been already tens of novels, there might be possibility that one or more haven't liked what I have written about their work. But yea hopefully funny at least.
We are building a writer community with few friends but it will still need updates on the website and discord bot system is not done yet but I will leave link to it later. For those who are interested in writing or discussions about writing and promotions of their works.
Okay now we get to continue with the mafia ;D please check the earlier review where pigs get human flesh and the choices of torture methods are discussed and analyzed.
-Now I figured its a comedy. Damn no proper torture needed/5
-Stakes are high KING of THE MAFIA WORLD!! lets see the unique skills of this criminal mastermind!
-"For some reason the cold blooded and ruthless man suddenly changes personality whenever Fenhua is around mad becomes the endless pamperer and cute stay at home boyfriend." oh no, nooo dont take the cruel awayyy always these women somehow doing that/5.
-World building, hey lets throw a random number and call it sector/5.
-Dialogue relates the feelings of the character, thats good thing for this genre. Particularly important
-Very dialogue driven, as usual I would like to see some contemplation and environments, but also some knowledge of motives.
-ah the princess. This reminds me of principle women are children and men are monkeys. I view this principle and equivalency to the reality as a defacto in all occasions.
-Well yea inside of the gossib feel based comedy its okay writing, not the one I would read but it is at least intermediate level within that genre.
- Edited
Majer3 Can you let me know your discord name or you can search me Fluffybarries29#3811
Majer3 Sure! This author said she would love an honest review. (As if mine wasn't enough ) Anyways, I have asked her and she said I can share her links here. She doesn't mind a brutal review so you can post the review on her book.
https://m.webnovel.com/book/justice-and-desire_24130716506426405
https://m.webnovel.com/book/the-last-werewolf-(silver-blood)_23946864705611105
Sent. I will continue reviews tomorrow
I need a brutal fast review.
Look, if you are game for something new and fresh, please just click any or both of the links below and dive in.
https://m.webnovel.com/book/justice-and-desire_24130716506426405
https://m.webnovel.com/book/the-last-werewolf-(silver-blood)_23946864705611105
I promise if your review is brutal and honest, I will do the same for you.
Mallory_reads I am right here! Thanks Val. You d best.
Majer3 HELLO HIS IS MY LINK YU CAN CHOOSE ANY OF THEM.
https://m.webnovel.com/book/double-identities_24625170206505205
Mallory_reads
Okay, The Last Werewolf dam dam daaaa da. Dam dam dam daaa da. Why I have this classical piece in my head now.
-O damn I should of picked the other novel its teen tagged/5
-Synopsis, family tries to think the best of problematic children and they act up and try go call police even parenting success 0/5.
-Could use prologue for world info dump purposes.
-Action action action, who is this jack guy now/5 where are we now where we left the woman?
-When the painfully lame teen experiences and problems meet the overly teedious parents 1/5 xD
-That being said the dialogue, feelings and this genre basics are good. Just world building would need a lot and scenarios, where everything happens and its difficult because in between the dialogue people have to watch something and see something. Jack opened the door to apologise parents for what he had done. But he was met with the gazes of two frightened parents with sex toys on the blank floor and another was dressed as pumpking and other as a carrot, you can guess who is who. The leather harnests and mouth balls were too much for Jack and he hesitantly and slowly close the sturdy oak door to clean his eyes from the stravesty. Jack went to his room and cried and contemplated cutting himself with spoon. Thats drama xD