mud7 I love the first chapter of your story and plan to read more! You do have a few grammar errors such as comma placement. The other thing I noticed was some word choice issues such as:
I can recognize bullshit when I see one.
You can try:
I can recognize a piece of bullshit when I see one.
Or:
I can recognize bullshit when I see it.
The problem with this sentence was the one need something to refer too and bullshit is a word used to describe the something.
None of these errors are so prevalent that they distract the reader from your story, either! Keep up the good work!

      Heaven_Dream If second person was what you were going for I applaud your guts! Second person is a hard point of view to use and keep your reader. But I think it’s working for you! The only thing is keep your point of view consistent, sometimes you slip from second to third.

      Be careful not steal your own thunder. What I mean by this is give you reader the unexpected event and don’t warn them like you did here:
      “Clearly, there is something unexpected that will happen.”
      Another way you stole your own thunder was ‘with these’. This version of stealing your own thunder is okay and is entirely a stylistic choice. It’s just something to be wary of using too much.

      Another thing is you have several spots where you are telling your reader what’s happening. In these spots try to shift your language to describing. Doing this will help entertain your reader.
      Keep it up! :)

        creativewritting Thanks.

        I have to say that English is not my first language. So something that makes sense in my head. Doesn't really translate on the paper. But, I would like to improve and make my novel a better read for the readers.

        Looking forward to your insights and I really appreciate your help.

        • DKQ replied to this.

            Thanks for all your effort! You're truly helping a lot of us authors through your reviews.
            If you have the time, I hope, you could review my novel, too, since I didn't get much reader feedback till now

            Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/10609838905077905/Oh.-My.-Fate%3F!
            Genre: Romance Fiction
            Updates: daily, 2 regular chapters + 1 additional chapter might be released
            What I think about it as an author: This novel is basically a mix of different genres. Romance Fiction being the underlying main genre, but that aspects starts a little late, so I'm not really sure, if it's okay for the audience of Romance novels. I also do know there are some grammatical errors, though I'm working on it at the moment.

            • DKQ replied to this.

              mud7 Hello mud, a better way to improve your language is to read what you wrote out-loud it is the method I used mostly. Sometimes when I am driving for long, I would speak to myself a script I was thinking about, for example, "9 years ago my friend betrayed me, took away my wife, family, and friends. I trusted him more than I had trusted myself, Today... I am a monster, I am the one and only king of this land!" sounds idiotic but during the time I am speaking to myself, I will try to fix the mistakes or change the entire script to make it more interesting to myself and others reading it.

              Example 2 after thinking about it and reading it loud:
              "My friend, you have changed me, took away everything I had, my entire life for nine years has been to survive after your betrayal" Sigh looking at the cold body that is hanging on my left hand, I spoke with rage "Was it worth it?!"

              Hopefully, this can help you out a bit, good luck and keep up the good work!

              -DKQ

                yansusustories Oh my fate... A masterpiece of ages! Have been following this and I have many things to talk about! Issues are found in every novel, but yours is unique, reading it once, you will never notice anything unless you are a graduate student or above, the idea is portrayed in a very fantastic way which intrigues the reader to continue from chapter 1 to the end without stopping! (Happened to me) The issues within are something that can be seen after focusing on the story. The first significant issue is the title, yes having the same title for several chapters is terrible, it shows the reader that the story will be focused on that location or fight for a long time. To fix this, I would recommend having a variety of titles, and this alone can improve the quality of the entire novel!

                Issues (Chapter 1 to 19)

                • Title name (Major)
                • squinting modifier (Can see improvement)
                • possessive adjective (Referenced link)
                • Unnecessary comma usage (Seen commonly during the first ten chapters)
                • unnecessary ellipsis (Used in wrong dialogues which lower the quality of the novel)
                • Confused preposition (Seen chapter 1, 5 and 9)

                As I have explained some of the issues, the rest is to be done by re-reading your old chapters which is the best way to improve yourself! Good luck and keep up the good work! (If you wish for more assistance discord is available)

                Reference to help out with those issues:
                https://www.wattpad.com/298184109-writing-tips-naming-your-book-chapters
                http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/punctuation/when-to-use-ellipses.html
                https://www.englishpractice.com/common-mistakes/commonly-confused-prepositions/
                http://www.softschools.com/examples/grammar/possessive_adjectives_versus_possessive_pronouns_examples/82/

                -DKQ

                    DKQ Oh my god, thank you so much! Commas and prepositions aside, I never would have thought about those things ... I'm gonna start editing right tommorow morning. :)

                        Hello everyone!

                        We are still looking for editors and reviewers who are free to help authors whenever they can. If you guys are interested you can join the discord server and contact DKQ or Creativewriting.

                        -DKQ

                        Hi guys. I started working on my story. Right now i have created 6 chapters. I have uploaded 2, and i am editing the other 4, they should be uploaded between today and tomorrow. And i will keep uploading 2 chapters daily.

                        I would love some feedback and thank you

                        NAME: The Great Realm Portal
                        GENRE: Fantasy
                        LINK: https://www.webnovel.com/book/10674708505099705/The-Great-Realm-Portal.

                        There may be some grammatical errors, but this is my first novel. I missed the deadline to have a free book cover, so i had to hire someone to create it for me. Thank you for the support guys.

                        • DKQ replied to this.

                          FrankG Hello Gpowez, I just finished reading the first chapter of the novel, a great work with a few mistakes during the middle parts. First I would like to mention some issues relating to split infinitive (a construction consisting of an infinitive with an adverb or other word inserted between to and the verb) it is very rare to see this type of mistake but it also shows your writing skills, this mistake was seen during the first chapter:
                          "to fully open his eyes" I thought it was normal at first but after my friend read it he said it is supposed to be written this way "to open his eyes fully" and that it was a mistake done by bachelor undergraduate students. Let us discuss several issues and then I can link references to rely on:

                          Issues

                          • Commas ("In the following months Tera grew as a newborn child does" new topics = comma)
                          • Complex usage of words ("lucidity" which could have been "clarity")
                          • Weak Adjective ("very funny" If it was someone else it would be "Hilarious" or "Amusing")

                          A great story and a fresh idea to most of us, I personally liked it and truthfully it was hard to find issues within the first chapter, i had to get a friends help for a few of them as I was not sure about it but in the end we found them and thankfully stated the first three important ones, the rest are minor mistakes such as information dump and spelling mistakes that can be solved by the author after reading it thoroughly. Good luck and keep up the good work!

                          References to relate to:
                          https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/grammar/split-infinitives
                          https://www.prdaily.com/Main/Articles/24_complex_wordsand_their_simpler_alternatives_8750.aspx
                          http://www.really-learn-english.com/avoiding-weak-adjectives.html

                          • DKQ

                              Twin_Rogue Hello Rogue, I have just gone through your novel and finished reading all of the chapters. The title names are interesting as it makes me expect something every chapter which I am truly loving. Few issues have popped up such as capitalizing names or titles (Some words are confusing and when you explained them I finally got what you meant which is very bad because that will get readers lost during the reading process). Let us mention the three issues and references will be mentioned below:

                              Issues

                              • 'That' or 'which' ("that granted him a unique ability unlike anything else." that is just one of the few available within and it was mentioned to avoid the drop of the novel quality)
                              • Pronoun-antecedent disagreement
                              • Missing verb ("Regular rotu were commonly seen and they 'will' <Verb> the user magical ability or enhancement" this was confusing but re-reading your chapters is a must as an author and this kind of mistake can be a big problem)

                              I felt a bit dissatisfied with the spelling mistakes but I can see improvements in the first chapters, I hope that this will become better (following it). Good luck and keep up the good work!

                              Reference:
                              http://tutorforenglish.com/Courses/SentenceStructure/Show.aspx?Lesson=Pronoun_Antecedent_Agreement
                              https://carey.jhu.edu/uploads/files/Sentence_Fragments.pdf

                              • DKQ

                                  Requesting for a review!

                                  The Phoenix Hero.
                                  Fantasy.
                                  I think it has potential really, even though the setting might be a bit plain, I think I can fix that with the developing story and background. But somehow I feel there's something missing...
                                  Appreciated!

                                    DKQ Thank you so much DKQ. I will fix those errors.

                                        MellowGuy I love the synopsis! Sadly you have several grammar errors in it. I would recommend reading your story out loud. This will help you catch wordy sentences and several other errors. If you get tongue tied when you try to read something out loud then you should revise it.
                                        You stole your own thunder when you stated that something suddenly happened before it happened. Let the event happen then add in Suddenly “Luccas could only...” How you let things unfold can help change the tension your reader experiences.
                                        A perfect example of letting your story unfold without spoiling it is:
                                        “He froze.
                                        A flying beast so big that you can actually ride …”
                                        You also have quite the info dump and wall of text at the end of your chapter. The first chapter should be your hook. It will be the last stop before your reader decides if they are fully committed to reading the story or are interested in something else. Personally, I find an info dump like this bad because I have a horrible ability to recall things. I made it to the end of your world history and had forgotten the beginning. I don’t want to forget these things, they are important. If you can slow down the pace when you give out information your reader has a better chance at recalling it.
                                        Please keep writing your story! Hopefully this helps!

                                            creativewritting Thank you for the review! Helped a lot! I was also confused about the information is too much for the readers in the first chapters, but I thought it would be better to have too many information than not having enough and getting confused why this or that happened... I tried to make the explanations as natural as I could so that the readers wouldn't feel like I'm just stuffing them with info... apparently, that backfired... Anyway, I'll try working on it, I was already planning to rewrite the chapters, so I've decided to divide the long explanations into several related occasions. The spoiling issue noted. The grammar, however... I try double checking the novel but I always end up with some mistakes, hopefully, I'll try working things out by reading more grammar books and articles or something... Again, thank you very much for the review!

                                              Hiya there,
                                              Any feedback would be extremely useful
                                              Name: The Rise (Realistic Fiction - Political Drama)
                                              Synopsis: Despite being the son of two of the most powerful politicians in the country, Leon never cared greatly for politics. Until his father is suddenly arrested midway through his campaign. Leon, acting out with revenge and worry, finds himself in the middle of one of the greatest political rivalries in history.
                                              Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/10669595306096005/The-Rise
                                              Thank you

                                                Hello to yous, I would just like some feedback towards my first novel, yous have my thanks.

                                                Both good and bad reviews are accepted as I want to improve whilst writing this first novel of mine.

                                                https://www.webnovel.com/book/10690615405128905/Apex-System
                                                Synopsis
                                                Hailed as a once in a millennium genius, Tian Long was deceived and betrayed, eventually losing everything, including his life.

                                                However, Legends never die!

                                                Armed with a system he obtained, reaching the Apex is but a matter of time.

                                                Follow the story of a legend as he carves an everlasting glory!

                                                The updates are 1 chapter a day or more.

                                                  Web Novel Novel Ask