Nostalgia_cat
Here is the review 💓
I read up to chapter 7-
Outstanding points :
Other than the mystery, the favorite thing that had me going on with this story was the dynamics- the stretches of fear and familiarity intertwining with one another to form this beautiful shape. But that was from after Lucas entered the story, before that, The first thing that caught my eye early in the story, was the detailed description of characters and -surprisingly- architecture which help immerse the readers into the scenes. On top of that, the web of relationships is interesting, I love how there are layers to everything such as John, Abigail and Lucas.
Writing skills :
The actions, descriptions and dialogues is placed well, and explained in a way the readers can easily imagine. I am so thankful, the characters are properly distinguished that you can more or less guess who is speaking or at least their characteristics. Their interactions are natural, imaginable and yet still exciting.
Content :
There is a proper plot keeping the story going. A den of mysteries slumbering beneath the main character’s wish to forget and the subsequent yearning all of us have to discover it. And yet, the author doesn’t spare us from the spices of romance, and the intrusion of a second male lead.
Cons in writing :
The detail I praised earlier sometimes disappears during scenes with a lot of dialogues, especially when it doesn’t concern the male lead. During the read, I often see dialogues one after another without any description in between. In my opinion, this cuts of the immersion and creates the illusion that the novel is uneven and therefore shows a tiny feeling that it is unpolished. And, sometimes although very rare, I see, traces of lazy writing , where the detailed lines turn into consecutive one liners or dialogues. It’s fine for effects but when stacked for no reason could turn off readers - for example when the butler told Abigail to change the bedsheet, and when john tells her she lost her phone- you just went full blown dialogues. This occurs again when Asher appears, it’s like the effort you put into it doesn’t match the one behind Lucas’s scenes. Then again, this is rather common in webnovel writers.
I will put an excerpt on your story where I think it could be done better :
[
“Americans,” Lucas growled
“What about us?” Asher urged
“Loves sex. And alcohol.”]
It seems like a bit of lazy writing, there could be a lot more detail and immersion. Use nuances, foreshadowing, hints to add to the reading experience. (Just a suggestion 💕)
Cons in content :
Moving on to the content, whilst the sponsorship made sense, I don’t think the barringtons allowing Abigail and john to go to social parties would end cleanly. Perhaps add on a detail later of how they were not most welcomed by the other socialites? Or how they won them over. From chapter 7 is it by looks,or is it just some that admires her and the others have hostility? (Just a suggestion from someone who doesn’t know the full picture, if I’m wrong don’t mind it.)
Errors I spotted :
- you addressed Abigail as his or him once in early chapters
- Grammar mistake : “he had done beat up” should be—> he had beat up
- Very few—> very rarely
Conclusion: it is a great romance novel and I’ll be sure to read it!
This is my opinion this far, if you want the whole review posted, pls vote 1 power stones, if you want to select several parts, 2 power-stones (the book is by love we abide). If you don’t want to, then there is no need to vote.
And if you have time, please check out my book, by love we abide :”)
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