Webnovel.Forum

Only 2 people, only fl urban. No, I am not currently looking for fantasy stories. No, I am not currently looking for ml stories. I need romance.

I will leave honest review here, and a shorter one on your story.

Any replies with link to stories that are not romance and urban will be ignored.

OnikunStudios

Outstanding points:

The writing is very coherent and everything is laid out clearly, I can tell you are a detail oriented person which works out well in writing stories. The immediate stance of the caring family is a plus point. The way the character didn’t immediately understand her identity.

Writing style:

Again very clear, and immersive at that. You have a lot of potential. There is very little things I can nitpick on, it felt like I was reading some printed book somewhere (in a good way).

Content:

I am quite divided by this. I like the premise of secret daughter, not so being descendants of satan. I imagine a demon so preoccupied with the world wouldn’t be breeding descendants unless he has a really wicked scheme. Also just me personally, but I don’t like demons that much, I’m a bit religious you see. (Partially why I avoid fantasy).

Advise:

I don’t like the idea of it, but if she’s satan’s descendants maybe adding some curse or evil impulse might be a nice thing. As the enemy of God (well, evil is the opposite of good, so religious or not, Satan doesn’t exist without God, not dictating anything) I imagine his descendants are cursed.
(You can ignore this advise, no biggie)

Sorry I can’t give more feedback farther than the revealing of identity. God bless and good luck. I left a review.

Fantasy_Girl_42

Outstanding points:

Beginning is quite interesting. Characters and roles are clearly set. The conflict and immediate goal the characters is trying to achieve is visible and hooks the reader’s appetite.

Writing style:
A bit conflicting. The dialogues clearly has personality, and what needs to be conveyed is conveyed. But, the constant shift in location breaks off immersion and makes it confusing. Also, dialogues in the middle of a paragraph makes it a bit hard to read, especially if multiple people is speaking.

Advise:

Make the characters more charismatic or attractive, first impressions matter.

Livylivalive Please review my book first timer here. My book is a romance novel set n present day. I am in desperate need of feedback. Title is: Be Careful What You Wish For Be Ready When It Comes Author: Monique_Mich_2092

Thank you!