yvxii Yay! A Reader!

If you would check my novel. Endless Universes - Young Master Path - The 1368th.

The Story is about Arrogant Young Master (I prefer to call him 'Spoiled and Coward young master') in a SlapStick comedy (MC get slap and stick). Gwahahaha. This Author here is the "Grandpa" on the story while the MC is a true webnovel reader.

I have to admit the first 60 Chapters is disaster level with wall of text. If you can try to check around Chapter 15. My mistake is not checking the Book of Author of making the start hook the readers.

PS: My chapter is about 3 times of common chapter. So you are actually checking 30 chapters for my 10 chapters. Gwahahaha. I am more confident with my newer release, this Rabbink had practiced a lot during the different time. It is nice if you could comment on my writing growth. :D

      _chomps

      Hey, I just read the first ten chapters of your novel. Here's your review ^ - ^

      (I hope this isn't too long and is what you were looking for ; - ; )

      Title: 4/5

      While the concept may not be very unique (considering all the rebirth novels out there), the title is quite interesting.

      Cover: 3.5/5

      The picture you have chosen suits the novel well. The outline of the wolf against the black background draws attention to the scene in the center, while the flame hints at the title ('life' and 'rebirth'). However, the placement of the title is a bit awkward since the white clashes. In order to create greater emphasis, I would recommend moving it down to where the Qidian logo is. You could also move the 'by allWard' text along with it and change that to white too.

      Synopsis: 3.5/5

      I like the length that you've kept your synopsis at, it's short and concise. It also allows readers to instantly understand what your novel will be about. In order for your synopsis to flow better, I would suggest restructuring your sentences and downloading extensions such as Grammarly which can help you with grammar and spelling.

      E.g: But everything changed when he was on his way to work, there was a police chase, he was shot by mistake.

      //However, everything changed during his journey to work. There was a police chase, and he was shot by mistake.

      Writing Quality: 3.5/5

      I like how you have incorporated descriptions in your chapters to add more depth since many writers on here tend to just 'tell'. You don't have any paragraphs which are too long, and they all seem to be of reasonable length. Your vocabulary is also decent, so I enjoyed reading through the chapters. The only major element that I would suggest you work on would be your grammar and mechanics. There are places where you have switched tenses abruptly, used the wrong pronoun, or forgotten to add quotation marks. This can be easily fixed though, and it will allow your chapters to flow more smoothly.

      Stability of Updates: 4.5/5

      You mentioned in your synopsis that you would update six to seven times a week. After skimming through your TOC, I'm pretty sure that you have kept it ^ - ^

      Story Development: 3.5/5

      I like how the plot is going so far, it's interesting to read how Liu Yang is adjusting and living in this 'new world' which he has been transported to. If there's anything I'm a bit confused with, it's the almost instant acceptance of Liu Yang towards the Ninth World when he arrives. It is slightly jarring. Other than that, I'm enjoying it. Events seem to be picking up around the seventh chapter too ~

      Character Design: 3.5/5

      There isn't much description about the protagonist in the chapters that I've read, whether that be his physical features, personal motivations or backstory. However, I'm sure you have developed them in later chapters ^ - ^ I would recommend weaving in a few of these details in the earlier chapters too though, so the readers can connect more with your characters. Considering the plot of the novel, the potential for character development is high. I'm looking forward to seeing how Liu Yang will grow as the story progresses.

      World Background: 4/5

      You seem to have a grasp on the 'world' which you have created, considering the different species and various worlds which you have presented in the first couple of chapters. The fact that you haven't overloaded the readers with information about the creatures in Ninth World but just described a few and expanded on them is a plus. I also like how you introduced the Nine Worlds in the first chapter, the concept of them being interconnected is intriguing.

          yvxii thank you! That's very kind! If you don't mind, I could also post a review to your WN too...?

          My WN:
          https://m.webnovel.com/book/11594239806435805

          Title: Magicless? No problem! But it's hard to get a date when you're stronger than titans! (Rebellion Against Fate)

          Synopsis:
          Magicless? No problem!
          Smashing god-dragons into meat patties,
          Playing golf using the planets.
          Still, she has a dream.
          When will I have a boyfriend...?

          Sam is an orphan with a dream: a simple life and happy family. Mana-less and unable to cultivate divine power (and ahem, a little slow witted...), she has only her two (overpowered) fists to rely on in a world that seems determined to make her forever-alone.

          Until she accidentally kills a divine hero, and inherits his powers. After which she's alone AND enemies with the whole universe.

          Dark clouds of mortal greed and war loom over the lands while gods and devils scheme, heroes and abominations war, and angels and demons collide in their quest to establish dominion over the endless worlds.

          As it seems fated for all mortals to be yoked under the rule of heavenly masters; Sam can change that. She'll defy fate - and destroy this wretched world.

            Navakor

            Hai ~ Here's your review ~

            Title: 4/5

            I like the title, it's different. There aren't many novels on here that explore this.

            Cover: 4/5

            The picture you have used for the cover suits the title well and it is eye-catching. The style and colour of the font is also clean and simple ^ - ^

            Synopsis: 4/5

            I like the length that you've kept your synopsis at. It's quite intriguing, the idea for your novel is unique and promising. There are a few places where the expression is slightly stilted, so I'd suggest restructuring those sentences a bit. Other than that, it's well written.

            E.g: And in this new world, they have a very important place, to the point that each human being has a unique pet.

            (I can understand what you're trying to present here, but it is a bit confusing to read.)

            Writing Quality: 3.5/5

            Your writing itself is quite good, and there is adequate description in your chapters. The way you have described the interactions of Arun with other characters paints a clear picture of the scene. However, something that I would suggest you work on would be your grammar and mechanics. There are moments where you seem to have forgotten to use full stops/periods at the end of sentences. Also, please read up on the usage of colons. You've used them several times in sentences where a comma would be sufficient.

            Stability of Updates: 5/5

            You mentioned in your synopsis that you would update one chapter a day. So far, you have kept it ~

            Story Development: 3.5/5

            I actually quite like where your story is going so far. In the beginning, it gave a more 'slice-of-life' feeling, relaxing and comfortable to read. However, after the seventh chapter, there's a sense of mystery being aroused. The plot starts to pick up around here too, which is a plus.

            Character Design: 4/5

            With each character that you introduce, you have made sure to describe their physical features and also shown a bit of their personality through their actions and dialogue. I also like how you've given personality to the pets as well, it's one of the things that I enjoyed while reading your novel. There isn't much mention of Arun's past world or his personal motivations so far, but I'm sure you will/have included them in future chapters ~

            World Background: 4/5

            After reading the first chapter, I liked how you weaved in a bit of information regarding the world without dumping it bluntly on the reader. The concept of having pets as 'guardian angels' is interesting, as is the [Pet Pact]. Around the eighth and ninth chapter, Arun is taken on a journey to another location. I like how you have described the scenery/landscape of the 'world', although I would suggest you to add a bit more detail. This will help you to build a clearer picture of the world in your readers' mind.

            E.g: In chapter nine, you describe the landscape of the territory Arun and Astera travel over. To add more depth and allow a deeper understanding of the world (the climate, features/characteristic etc), try to add in more sensory details.

            • sight, sound, smell, taste, touch.

            //The climate had also changed dramatically. Due to the blistering heat, the vet was forced to remove his blouse. The sun's rays pounded down on them, and Arun lowered his head, seeking to hide from the glare.

            Since they're flying, you could also mention the presence/absence of wind. While you don't have to add so much detail in every paragraph, making sure to include a few every so often will enhance the reading experience.

                Just a note to everyone, if you see that my reading status does not coincide with the number of chapters I claimed to have read, it's most likely because I've scrolled back and forth between earlier and later chapters while writing the review ^ - ^

                Also, my reviews are based on the chapters which I have read, not the entirety of a novel. (Barring new works with only a few chapters, of course.)

                  Navakor

                  I just realised you didn't mention any of the optional three factors in your request. I hope you don't mind that I've included them in your review ;; - ;;

                      existing

                      Hello ~ Here's your review ~

                      Writing Quality: 3.5/5

                      Your chapters are well-written in the sense that there is vivid description which enhances your story. The structure of your chapters are good too, the paragraphs are separated decently. The only thing that's preventing me from fully enjoying your novel in regard to this aspect is the grammar and mechanics. There are a few abrupt changes in tense, and incorrect use of commas. You can easily fix this though, and it will improve the flow of the chapters.

                      Stability of Updates: 5/5

                      The releases of your chapters are pretty consistent, keep it up ^ - ^

                      Story Development: 4/5

                      I like the development of your novel so far. You have introduced the background and situation of the protagonist, and brought your readers along with Luciana on her journey to become stronger. You haven't dragged out the introduction and instead written each event succinctly, which is a plus. I'm interested in reading how the story will progress ~

                      Character Design: 4/5

                      From the beginning of the first chapter, you have clearly presented the personalities of your characters. I like how you have described their physical features and also hinted at their personal motivations and backgrounds. You have utilised dialogue well, the nature of these characters are reflected in their conversations and interactions with one another.

                      World Background: 4/5

                      One thing I really like about how you have executed your worldbuilding is the way you presented it. Readers can gain an understanding of the world not only through the description of the physical elements but also via the interactions and mannerisms of the characters. Like I said before to Navakor, I recommend that you also add more sensory detail (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch) in your writing. This way, your readers can immerse themselves deeper into the world you have created.

                            ImBloo

                            Here's your review ~ I enjoyed reading it ^ - ^

                            Title: 4/5

                            Your title is definitely unique, it's interesting.

                            Cover: 4/5

                            I'd give a five for that picture because it fits perfectly with the genre. However, where's the title? xD

                            Synopsis: 4/5

                            Oh ~ I really like your synopsis. It's very intriguing. You've given a bit of background about the world, and also introduced the protagonist. I'd suggest fixing the tenses of a few words though (e.g: roams - roam, enters - enter).

                            Writing Quality: 4/5

                            Your chapters are well-written, I really enjoyed reading through them due to the detailed descriptions. Your vocabulary is also quite good. I'm reading on my PC so some of the paragraph lengths don't bother me as much. However, you could consider separating a few of your paragraphs (mainly information about the world, an object, or a place) to make them shorter. That way, mobile readers won't be faced with text walls. In regard to grammar and mechanics, I'd recommend editing through your chapters once you've written them. There are one or two spelling mistakes which can be easily corrected.

                            Stability of Updates: 5/5

                            I'm not sure about your schedule for updates, but it's pretty consistent right now.

                            Story Development: 4/5

                            The development of your novel so far is good. You have introduced the protagonist (as well as his background and relationships), then depicted the direction of the novel. You have also hinted at a subplot/complication in the second chapter which may be important in the future, which increases the urge to continue reading. I like the action in the latest chapters, but I'd suggest adding more sensory detail to enhance your writing.

                            Character Design: 4/5

                            Your characters are designed really well. I like how you have weaved in little details that enrich the personalities of your characters. (E.g: Riley making sure to pick the burnt pancakes for himself.) This creates depth in your characters, and also demonstrates the relationship and bond between the siblings ^ - ^ The banter between the brother and sister pair is also very realistic. In regard to other characters, I like how you have incorporated Riley's thoughts about them in your descriptions. Rather than blandly listing their characteristics, you have presented them in a more fluid and natural manner.

                            World Background: 4/5

                            Like I've said to existing, I like your execution of worldbuilding. I generally don't read cyberpunk novels, however, you have written it in a way that's simple and clear to understand. I've mentioned this before above, but I enjoy how you've connected information regarding the world with Riley's thoughts and comments in your writing. This way, it's more interesting and seems more authentic.

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