Novel Review Swaps Anyone? :)
Here is my novel Duality, I would really appreciate some feedback on it.
Also, I've been told that the world building aspect was kinda lacking, so I've tried to improve it on the latest chapter. Please tell me what you think. Thanks.
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JohnnyKbca I only scanned the first couple of chaps. You seem to be an experienced writer with firsthand experience in the military. The first chaps reminded me of how Princess Agents began (a female lead novel here on WN, in case you didn't know). There was at least three chapters spent on the MC's original world with massive details about her last mission. I'll be honest, I only skimmed those chapters. The story promised me reincarnation/transmigration, and it was taking too long. She was going to leave that world anyway, I couldn't understand why all those details would really matter. Of course, after I skipped to the juicy part, the story became a lot more enjoyable. I'm just sharing this with you because your story seems to have that same problem. I saw a reviewer say it also became good after he transmigrated, right? Maybe try starting the story to when he revives and loop back to the past with less details? Hope this helps.
WinterBud Thanks, I actually have no previous experience writing, save for a short story contest No use crying over spilled oil.
I have never been in the military, but I did do some research on it, to make it seem more believable.
And the prologue, before John dies, that was actually my story for the first writing prompts contest. I tried to do something different with it. Instead of focusing on what happens after reincarnating, the story would be entirely about the events leading up to the reincarnation. In the end however, I decided to keep on writing, and the prologue became kinda awkward because of that.
JohnnyKbca I see. Great job on your first effort. :)
I think it's a common mistake to try to smoothen awkward parts by piling on more details. The solution's usually the opposite, though. If you're going to rewrite in the future, try to isolate the truly indispensible details and let go of the rest.
JA_Anton hey, can I join too?
https://www.webnovel.com/book/12103023806926205
But, fair warning. It's a full BL
existing Thanks, I'm beginning to think I may have misunderstood the mechanics of review swaps. I thought it was free-for-all if you post in a thread like this, but maybe most people are just asking to swap with the OP? :joy: I was finding it a bit strange how everyone seems to be waiting for everyone else to give the first review haha, maybe that was why.
JohnnyKbca Noted :) I'll add your story in my library.
dreamingjuliet Of course you can join :) I don't have anything against BL don't worry. You're already third in my list though so you'll have to wait a bit for my feedback.
My current reading list:
- The Best Title by Alfwulf
- Duality by JohnnyKbca
- Love System: Changing Desitinies by dreamingjuliet
*If I missed anyone or I forgot a promised swap please let me know.
JA_Anton thanks, ya.
JA_Anton thanks for the review. I have other 2 on my list, and then I'll review yours.
JohnnyKbca You're welcome. And no problem. You can take your time
Updated reading/swap list:
- Love System: Changing Desitinies by dreamingjuliet
- Nine-Tailed Fox by 0alex_reed0
Rise of Zion-https://www.webnovel.com/book/12389302305374305/Rise-of-Zion
please take a look and see if it is interesting.