- Edited
@mountwolf89 Since your story is over 50 chapters, I'll be reading a little at a time. I may or may not comment here and there. I'm a casual reader.
The content is understandable, but unfortunately, there are a lot of grammatical mistakes. For just the beginning sentences of the first chapter, I marked the necessary corrections in parentheses. I'm not really sure what's the best way to fix this except find an editor maybe?
Splash! Water splatter(ed) in every direction. Lila sat on the stool(,) working a
latter(lather) into one of many dress shirts to be completed by the end of the day.
"Why!?" Lila threw the soapy shirtin(from) her hands into the bucket with the rest ofit's kind. Just(its kind, just) to be then torture(d) by her stomping feet.
"Why? do(Why do) I have to be on laundry duty again(?)!" Lila yelled at no oneto particular. But(in particular, but) received an answernone the less(nonetheless).
"Because you can't keep your mouth closed long enough for your brain to remind you (to) keep it shut." Kara replied while placing another load of laundry next to Lila's just empty basket.
Lila'sfaced(face) turned black just looking at the extra load. Then(,) (her face) turned evenmoreblacker facing her frenemy's laughing face.
EDIT: --Spongebob narrator voice-- A few hours later...
I ended up reading up to chapter 36 because I actually found the story very interesting. It's definitely up my alley. I actually thought I wouldn't be able to stand reading it with all the grammatical errors, but I was able to tune it out because the story was good (and understandable) enough. So I guess, mission accomplished? I'm likely your reader now, haha!