@mountwolf89 Since your story is over 50 chapters, I'll be reading a little at a time. I may or may not comment here and there. I'm a casual reader.

The content is understandable, but unfortunately, there are a lot of grammatical mistakes. For just the beginning sentences of the first chapter, I marked the necessary corrections in parentheses. I'm not really sure what's the best way to fix this except find an editor maybe?

Splash! Water splatter(ed) in every direction. Lila sat on the stool(,) working a latter (lather) into one of many dress shirts to be completed by the end of the day.
"Why!?" Lila threw the soapy shirt in (from) her hands into the bucket with the rest of it's kind. Just (its kind, just) to be then torture(d) by her stomping feet.
"Why? do (Why do) I have to be on laundry duty again(?)!" Lila yelled at no one to particular. But (in particular, but) received an answer none the less (nonetheless).
"Because you can't keep your mouth closed long enough for your brain to remind you (to) keep it shut." Kara replied while placing another load of laundry next to Lila's just empty basket.
Lila's faced (face) turned black just looking at the extra load. Then(,) (her face) turned even more blacker facing her frenemy's laughing face.

EDIT: --Spongebob narrator voice-- A few hours later...
I ended up reading up to chapter 36 because I actually found the story very interesting. It's definitely up my alley. I actually thought I wouldn't be able to stand reading it with all the grammatical errors, but I was able to tune it out because the story was good (and understandable) enough. So I guess, mission accomplished? I'm likely your reader now, haha!

    I have a Writing Comp entry, #59, going on right now, I wouldn't mind some attention. I'm trying my best for it to be a romantic BL comedy, but it's hard when I'm more of a fantasy action writer. Yes, it's boys' love/LGBT+/gay stuff/guys loving guys and all that jazz... I hate asking, but since this prompt-comp relies on popularity, please vote if you read and like. Cheers.

    Bradley James is fired and hired on the same day. Rotten luck, especially when his stable paying job as an analyst changes to something unexpected.

    The one who hires him is none other than Adrian Masters; the extremely handsome and widely talked about young entrepreneur and CEO of a thriving global telecommunications' organisation known as T-Strike.

    Adrian takes Bradley under his wing as his face for his new product.

    What happens when business affairs are muddled with those of the heart?
    A story of two businessmen played by fate.

    Mind if I join in? This is my first story here on webnovel, will be updating in a few hours!

    https://www.webnovel.com/book/13150526106932405/VR

    Summary: The year is 2113. The real and virtual worlds have never been more intertwined - only, that seems to be the problem. Increasingly so.

    When twisted individuals seek to take this technological advancement to new and possibly immoral grounds, it's up to a young group of gamers to save both their virtual sanctuary, and the fate of mankind.

    Genres: Scifi, Fantasy, Mystery, RPG.
    Subgenres: Action/Adventure, LGBTQ, Thriller.

    Wow, Can I shamelessly join in? :grin:

    Title: Under The Veil of Night

    Synopsis:
    Kanae Nali lives in a city known as the “City of Crime." The city only follows one law: only the strongest can live. Citizens are divided according to their clans, groups, gangs, and normal civilians.
    Fighting is normal, death is inevitable, and extortion is common.
    From outside, Kanae appears to be a regular High School Student who tries to live a normal school life. However, unbeknownst to many, her ordinary life is not as simple as it seems.

    tags so far: school life, secret identity, slow pace story

    Thank you :smiley:

    Chryiss Thank you for your suggestions. I will definitely go back and edit my pass chapters. Please continue to leave any construction criticism you might have. I want to grow as an author.

        https://www.webnovel.com/book/13253199606269305/CEO-of-my-Heart

        Title: CEO of my Heart

        Synapsis
        Facing a marriage deadline, CEO Henry Wong impulsively weds Ellie Chen, a broke college student dying of car accident wounds. In return, her younger sister will receive a generous scholarship -- and Henry will have the enchanting Ellie as a wife, if only for a few days. Then fate takes a hand, and Henry suddenly finds herself with a healthy, vibrant wife -- a siren he finds it hard to keep his eyes off of.

        Genre: Romance

        Reflex Oh just saw your post now lol. Added to library to read.

        Edit: Finished. Even though the chapters aren’t short, 5 chapters is too short for a review, so I’ll wait until you have around 10. I keep my expectations somewhat low for Webnovel, but your story had nice writing. You got me as a reader now. :)

            Chryiss Yes it's my first time writing. But ive changed a lot of the story after you read it, if you want you can try again sometime .

              Me too me too!
              Title: Dominic
              Genre: Fantasy, Supernatural, Romance
              Author: me!
              Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/13011773506401705/Dominic
              Synopsis: ''Shut up!'' I said with pure madness while I was feeling my blood boiling inside my veins. Also I was thankful for the rain which was covering my back. After all, I was sure they could not follow me now. I was smiling. ''Do not smile now, it is not the time.'' he said. But I knew this was the time I could laugh. ''Don't be scared. They cannot even see you. Mr.Ghost.'' I said while he was looking pretty upset.

              here is my work. Hinder-Rella's is a spin off of Cinderella. Prologue, actual story and finish. So yes it has been completed. I also have my second book My Way To You. I have taken a darker more fantasy approach but it starts off as a 12 year old girlwho is sold to a brothel but decides to change her world. It's darker, some people could not stomach the violence in Hinder-Rella and this is more gore detailed.
              https://www.webnovel.com/book/11241536305310005/Hinder-Rella

              And

              https://webnovel.com/book/12021185405774505

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