I’m a nineteen year old guy working at KFC for 8.50 an hour. I see many different people from all walks of life that come into the restaurant, everyone seems so well put together in comparison to me. I’m honestly lost in life, I want to become a writer but I’m constantly demoralizing myself. My question is to the people who have overcome their own hardships and have managed to find success in their personal and financial life; how did you do it, what form of education did you need to take in order to become successful, and most importantly did you find purpose in your way of life?
People who are successful in life please help me
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Wildbird If you want to be like them, learn how they become successful, simple as that.
Determination and goals are what you need, your question doesn't even make sense.
You need to know what you really want and make a firm decision, don't get confused If you are confused you haven't made up your mind on what you really want and don't blame anyone of anything.
And don't chase a dream which is impossible, be realistic, I'm not saying don't chase big dreams, but be ready for failure when you chase it and if you aren't determined enough, It will destroy your life, taking a big risk will get you a big reward, but it will also throw you down to hell if you fail.
Don't be a victim, There is only family and you against the world, Just imagine the world as a playground and what role you want to play is your decision to make, not mine.
Make your world view bigger, I don't think you know walks of life If you know you won't be in that position.
Those people who came into your KFC shops are just your average rich customers,
If you want to know all walks of life you have to travel the world, sleep with the homeless, work as a manual laborer, interact with rich people.
Read Economics, Geopolitics and Financial markets, that will give you an idea of how money and the world works.
Money is not everything, Money is just a tool for exchange, the real value holds in the product, for me healthy food, clean water, and a nice internet is everything.
Good luck and be brave boy.
[ Long post alert. Read at your own caution. :laughing: ]
Hu, I'm not successful in life, but as someone who struggles like you, I can empathize and maybe give you an idea of the next couple years ahead at least. I hit a bit of a wall back in my second year of college, feeling extremely overburdened due to several constraints, mostly financial and health for me and my family. All the while, I tend to dream a lot and aspire really high without ever truly believing that I might be able to make it. When I was younger, I really did feel like the sky was the limit, and I'd be able to achieve my dreams. But that wall, that reality truck perhaps, hit me really hard.
So I've had to constantly encourage myself while also cutting myself some slack. I currently work 3 different jobs (hours of each fluctuate whether it's summer or within the school year). It sounds like a lot, but it isn't. (Sounds more impressive, but I don't see it as any less than the people around me who juggle full time school with work.) As much as I want to do more to relieve the burden off my parents (they seem to decline by the day, and I can't do anything about it), this is probably my limit.
I can't do everything, and I can't rush everything. I feel compelled to be successful and secure as soon as I can, at a young age. But that isn't reality. Those success stories are pretty rare. Talk around, and you'd realize a lot of people are in the same situation (they might seem put together, but most of the times it's a facade for society, it's the same with me who everyone seems to think will be successful......). I can poor me all I want, but that does nothing to move me forward. I just do what I can (and get sick sometimes from it lol), and rest when I need to (meaning watching movies, music or other recreations) in order to balance the stress.
So yeah, it feels like I'm procrastinating or not being productive at times, and I chastise myself for it. But again, I have to cut myself slack. I'm no machine, and we need to enjoy life at the same time rather than waste all of our youth away. In short, I needed to balance and rethink my mindset as a perfectionist. I can't give you age old wisdom, but I do believe that everything starts with the self and one's perspective to look at things on a more positive level. Some naivety coupled with realism is okay. So continue your path to becoming a writer. Everything is not built in a day or a year or two.
I feel kinda preachy ugh. I wasn't even sure if I should share this, or if it's of any help. But your question struck a chord with me since again, I had the exact same mindset/questions a few years ago. Right now, I have a semester left of college (graduating early by having full class loads), and starting masters directly after (hopefully in the accelerated program). I can kind of see the light, but finishing school honestly scares me the most because it's all I've ever known.
Put very simply, all I want is to be able to enjoy my life peacefully. That takes work to make sure I and my loved ones are secure, and to work a job that I enjoy and won't kill me with stress. Purpose is what you make it, and it can change over time, fluctuate and flip back and forth. To be able to look ahead and plan for the future while enjoying the present and not dwelling on the past. Everyone's probably heard of this, but it's so true. It's not education or money that necessarily helps one overcome their burdens, but attitude, perspective, mindset. "Successful" people aren't always the happiest. Success lies in purpose, ultimately, your own happiness. Do what you enjoy, be with those you want to be, life is short. (I'm still a kid.)
Chryiss It's very sad to hear your story.
I hope you succeed in life.
You have a very strong and successful mindset, you are very smart as well.
You don't need any advice, you will be able to figure it out everything in life.
May Gaia bless you.
Enlightened_Being Is it really sad? LOL! I didn't mean to come across as that, just realistic but hopeful haha! Thank you though, I appreciate the sentiment. (: The same to you as well~
Define 'successful'.
At thirty I had given up on the most important goal in my life and settled for second best. Build a career, make pretty good money and use it as a platform for building a life I could be satisfied with.
Then I met this girl, or woman, whatever, and suddenly that one most important aspect of being alive came into my reach again.
I don't give a crap about careeer or wealth. As long as there's enough not to make living being too troublesome of course. Sure, aiming for what's most important to me has put us into shaky situations from time to time, but now, some twenty years later I'm not regretting sticking to the goal I set up for myself in my early twenties.
Spending time with the wife I adore above anything else, running stupid stunts with my kids and feeling that I belong where I live is a blessing I still wonder if I deserve. I hope to keep wondering for another forty years before it's time for me to look for a rental one roomer six feet under.
Oh, if anyone wondered; I write romance :D
I guess when I say “success” I really mean purposeful. Something that gives you meaning. I know I shouldn’t be that obsessed with making money but I also think that money is an important component in making a bedrock for a family and social life. Right now I don’t know what to do. Should I join the army? Should I buckle down and go to college? Get certified? I appreciate people who tell me to do something that makes me happy but the problem is I don’t know where to begin.
Chryiss After listening to your story I feel like a little bitch for whining about my problems. You’d think I, as a person who spent most of his time reading when young, would grow up to be a a psychologically sound person but honestly I’ve felt so isolated in my life that lately I’ve been having these bouts of extremely depressing thoughts. It feels like I’m going crazy, I’m always having these mental debates in my mind carried out by two little voices that lead to absolutely no where. A voice telling me I’m useless, stupid, and will always remain poor. and a voice telling me what I can do and that I’m not trash. You’d think that the second voice would be the most beneficial to my psyche but honestly the more time I spend like this the more the voice stops sounding like words of encouragement but more of a sarcastic taunt that plays hopeful illusions in my mind, just for these illusions to be constantly shattered by reality.
I don’t exactly know why this is. I’ve no clear responsibilities to take care of. Nobody’s looking to me for rent money or funds for food. That’s why in my original paragraph I didn’t say “are you happy” happiness is not the answer I’m looking for I’m looking for purpose. I want to be a reliable person, a good husband and a good father to some future kids. The problem is I’ve no idea how to get the money to do so.
Then go to college. If at all possible study something that could get you a job, but more importantly buy yourself another three years to find out what's important for you.
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The problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that you were born to serve some higher purpose and it’s your cosmic mission to find it. And let me tell you, that's just bullshit.
The truth is, we exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important, and some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning. and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.
So when you ask what you should do with your life, I think the question you're really asking is what you could do with your time that is important?
And that is a question that you can only answer yourself. Ask yourself, if you only have one year to live, what would you do with that time?
Honestly, don't beat yourself up too much about this. At 19, you are a young adult. And believe me, in this time and age, the transition from a young adult to an independent adult takes more time than it did in the past. Back then youth who had completed high school were often considered ready for employment, marriage, and other aspects of settled adult life.
Many young adults embrace this transition period, they enjoy the time spent exploring possibilities for the future, obtaining higher education, etc, etc. But, some young adults also find this transition into adult responsibilities overwhelming or confusing. This could lead to a major depression.
So, really, don't beat yourself up too much, it's not you, the problem also lies in societal expectations of people in your age group.
I would advise you to get a real counselling. You may find the support of a counsellor/therapist to be helpful.
The best of luck to you.
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If something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to choose something different and create changes in your life. I know it is scary and daunting but you have to take that leap of faith: big leap, small leap, it's all the same; a butterfly effect in the waiting. Even if it doesn’t make any sense. Trust yourself. Your despair is not you failing but rather the life you are living failing you. Wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Wildbird So this is my take on success. Hopefully it helps.
To be honest, I see you successful. You're 19 and in a job, that's a success. You're seeing all sorts of people coming and going, learning from observing. The ability to see a different view of life is a small gain.
Success to me is just a confirmation that something is going well, but it's not something that defines me. Failures or dead-end stages are moments of opportunity to step back and take a creative-thinking approach to what is going on.
Take a look at Richard Branson. According to wiki, he constantly failed at selling Christmas trees as his business and so seized upon an opportunity to run student magazine. Now, if he was content with his failures or dead-end moments, do you think he'd be the billionaire he is today.
Success is also being able to recognize opportunities and seizing upon them. As mentioned previously, failures/dead-end moments can be times to step back. They can also be an insight to future opportunity. Dead-end moments are usually biding time for something better or an old phase of life reaching the end of a cycle. It's the waiting period. During the waiting period is a good time for self reflection. I see your post is something like this.
Sometimes trying to see your life objectively and all the things that have made you think, wow did I just get that compliment, praise, award, story got that number of hits? Those moments can make you really think, "shit, I have achieved success in my life."
If not, life is always filled with opportunities for success. Some require the eyes to see it and the will to bring it to yourself. Note: new ventures tend to tax inner will and sanity. New is a tough thing to break through and not all people will like "new".
Finally, success is a never ending goal. One success leads to another, maybe a failure before achieving another and so forth. Don't forget to look back on all your wins and appreciate what value you've gained through it all.
Note: I'm saying this being jobless at the moment, possibly going to be homeless if I can't get another and my last book sale being in January XD
Wildbird I am pretty successful by all standards of the term. Massive house,family and large income. The one suggestion I have to you is be 100% honest with yourself. Soooo many people live in self delusion. If your fat it’s because you eat crappy and don’t work out. It’s not because of other factors. if your poor and you don’t want to be.... change professions do something else. if your single ask what you can do to make yourself the person you need to be to keep someone around long term. So many things can be fixed simply by getting up in the morning and looking in the mirror and stopping all the excuses. If you can do that I promise you you will be successful. Hard work and owning up to your responsibilities works 99.9% of the time
Even the people that you think have the most perfect lives have skeletons in their closet. Here is the thing life is a constant struggle that no one can perfect. For your novel think about what experiences you have had in your life; could you possibly apply it to your characters? I find in most cases the answer is yes because I often times put small memories in my book. (I only decided to put one out for the public to read as of yet) If you’re having problems organizing your thoughts it might be helpful to use a spiderweb diagram that you might have used when you were younger. It will help you think things out a little more. Take things one step at a time. Take a moment to really breathe in all the things that are around you. Even if you can only update at certain time let your readers know that; they can be really understanding. Just try your best. I will be more than happy to help you. Best of luck 
Wildbird
First things first, having a degree doesn’t guarantee your success. Of course, I absolutely encourage you to go to school and get your education because this will give you a major platform to succeed but I think you need to think about how YOU define success and what that actually means to you. Is it having money? Having a stable job? Being able to write and do it full time? What does success actually mean to you? Until you understand yourself better and what achievements you need to make to feel like you succeeded is what’s important. When I was your age, I was in business and earned good money for my age - but I hated my job. It was stressful and didn’t feel like a meaningful job to me. Then, I decided that I was going to pursue what I wanted which is healthcare management. I started from the lowest administration position(receptionist) my company offered. Five years later, I am a Project Manager in a huge program and I love it. So, don’t be discouraged. At some point in our lives, we’ll feel lost and not sure where we’re headed and that’s because nothing in life is ever certain. If you want to write and that’s one thing you’re sure of, make it happen. Best wishes to you.
Wow, lots of great advice and moments being shared.
Wildbird Although I'm not famous, honestly you just need hardcore determination. Unless you started out as a diamond spoon in some rich person's family, every other person worked for it. 80% of millionaires are first generation rich. All that comes dow to it is save and dont spend.
This relates to writing and stuff like youtubing too. No one starts out famous, but those who do worked extemely hard for it. Everyone sucks at first too. For writing what you need most is to BE CONSISTENT. Its honestly easy to get readers, it just takes time. So this means u need to keep working part time to keep you afloat. Most free writers get their income from Patreon.
You won't be paid possibly for years though, (1-3) till you have enough of a portfolio and supporters/fans.
For WB writing, start off writing something you have insperation on, not the stupid contests. Most of the time they are biased / a little rigged by smurf accs. You need a book idea you have a lot of insperation on, it can be small, but it needs to be big. Once you got it start writing right away.
Post daily, and if you think it sucks by C10,drop it but dont delete the book. Just refer to your new one. Drop it once you have more books inthefuture though. Each new book you write, try to hit +10 chapters than you did on your last book.
Also bring a notepad or journal with youeverywhere, itsbetter to writeon their on the go as your phone is slow, and laptop not convinient as battery life.
Reread your chapters at least three times! Editing is boring but without it your book is stupid and most people will care about your grammercal errors!
USE GOOGLE USE GOOGLE USE GOOGLE! Synonyms! Don't repeat words too much! Spellcheck! Every single doubt you have! Seek Insperation and relatable things!
MOST IMPLRTANTLY DESCRIBE EMOTIONS AND THE FIVE SENSES, litterally so much writers forget this and it drops the rating so low! Add relatable things too!
HAVE A GOOD PROLOGUE!!! Yo already lost half of your reader base without this. If you want good prologue examples try 'Jay Aslan: Journey to the Top' or you can read mine too as I specialize in that. 'One Piece: Beyond the Horizon', 'Creator of Legends: The Evolution Tree'
READ READ READ A LOT! Every good writer has read a lot which is why their books are always so good. Read things you like! Read things that relate to what you wish to write! And most importantly only write things that you like! Without insperation its bound to be trash.
Someone called your novel crap and stated why? TAKE IT TO HEART AND IMPROVEON IT, your god dang lucky if people actually stated why they dislike it. Also SEEK HONEST TRUE REVIEWERS WHO GIVE FEEDBACK on WB Forums like me. REVIEW SWAPS DO NOTHING OTHER THAN BOOST YOUR RATING.
The longer you write, the more you need to start stopping bad habits your doing. Compare your novels to other POPULAR WELL WRITTEN ones in your genre. Btw even if its high rating doesnt mean its well written, so make sure you find popular ones that are good.
This was everything I can think of, lastly I'll put a somewhat guideline you can use to tell the state of your book from my experience using views/collections
150-/1 Amazing!
151-220/1 Good!
221-300/1 Above Average
301-360/1 Average
361-450/1 Below Average
451+/1 Just give up on the book, its trash and see what you did so badly on
Each time you give up a novel, see what you did badly that readers did not like
What seperates successful people in every circle Is whether they can accept their failures and improve, than to ignore and still walk forward
That phrase litterally relatable to every single thing in the universe related to success. I'm also top 100 on Overwatch Xbox, and litterally you have no idea how much it annoys me when once in a while I say what they r doing wrong but do not accept it and become toxic towarda me instead. Even using an excuse that I use mk when I just use Kontrol Freaks, to justify their actions to their inner subconsciousness.
Mad some typos but not novel, so not caring that much to edit. All I could think of curently.
Eslyna Also forgot to add, degrees don't really relate to success for writing. This stuff you should've already learned in K-12 school like me, unless you are just stupid or did not pay attention. Even if you are missing things, just look uo google, writinf is honestly pretty simple, you just need to learn what not to do again and use google when in doubt. You ca also make your own lessons if you are really that bad behind writing correctly, u can use utube too.