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My $5 cents:
1- Can you imagine real people really saying it? Which emotion the pure line of dialogue conveys?
2- Raw dialogues (like a ping-pong match of dialogue, with no description of feelings, no facial expressions, etc.) works better when the reader is completely inserted in the context. Sometimes it's better to elaborate by describing the reasons behind their speech (if your narrative person allow it, that is).
3- Do your characters talk all the same? Do you insert any mannerism? Are their origins, moods, level of education, vocabulary different and they show in their speech? How do you can tell them apart if you were only listening to their voices?
4- Intonation brings information about intention in real communication. You should mention or try to make pauses, use punctuation and other resources, to help your readers to get the intention hidden behind the words. Even the speed, length of sentences and length of the speech can tell whether a person is stressed, angry, happy or anxious.

I was told analyzing other’s works help creating your dialogue style, but mostly, make it true by imagining all intonations people are giving in their speech. Imagine every expression. Imprint their quirks and personalities by choice of words, speed of speech, length of sentences, and so on. This way the reader will them apart and easily “listen their voices”: a talker, a diplomat, a monosyllabic character, a pompous person, a gruffy one, whatever.

As for example I took away all descriptions accompanying the lines of the dialogue below. It’s a trivial scene with 3 characters. You can see the descriptions of their expressions and inner feelings in the novel “Never Date a Man in Pink” – Chapter 18. https://www.webnovel.com/book/14869790405897805

1- Tag the main feeling the line brings to your mind (joy, contempt, sarcasm, helplessness, surprise, etc.).
2- Check the full scene with feelings descriptions and body expressions and see if it matches.

1-Mr. Go! Dr. Kim!
2 -My dear Ye Rim-ssi! It’s been a long time since you’ve last sung this last song. Ms. Nam sings wonderfully, doesn’t she, Jun Hyeon?
3-Yes, wonderfully…
1-The songs were not to your liking, Dr. Kim?
3-Did you received my flowers, Ms. Nam?
1-Yes, yes, what a good taste you have, Dr. Kim! Beautiful roses! I really didn’t expect it, I was very surprised! I am so glad!
3-Did you really like it?
1-Yes, I love the flowers. They’re not to blame, you know. They’re just come into the world to bring love and bliss.
3-But… What a beautiful and intriguing way of thinking. Worthy of an artist! I hope it’s not just a beautiful thing just said by the sake of saying it.
2-You… You…
1-By the sake of saying it? By the sake of saying it?! Ha, how funny, coming from a doctor who tells someone else to write his apology cards!
3-Ahhhherm…!
3-So Ms. Nam, do you think my apology was lacking sincerity? It may sound cliché, but I’m a pretty busy man.
1-I don’t know what you told your secretary, but you certainly didn’t tell I’m younger than you, Dr. Kim.
3-Ahnnn…
1-But like I said, I really liked the roses. I admired them. I appreciated their aroma, the softness of their petals, and all their love. They had a difficult mission, when you gifted me with them and that insincere card of yours. So, I gave them another assignment: I gifted them to everyone who came to enjoy my performance this evening, and now they express my gratitude to these people.
3-Hey. Hey!!! Why are you like this?!

I hope it’s a good exercise. I'm not a master on it, but that's how I try to build dialogs.

PenelopetheSpider This is super helpful, thank you!

I'll post this scene here and let me know what you guys think. Also, suggestions, tips and criticism is much appreciated.

"Yes, a noble that was travelling into town yesterday heard loud thunder-like noises as they were passing by in this forest," William briefly paused, before resuming. "Concerned about the potential of a monster horde or a new monster that had taken residence, they had decided to put a quest on the guild for adventurers to investigate."

"I see." Replied the man behind him as the cold feeling of metal finally eased on the back of his head. William let out a silent sigh of relief, However, he was still worried about his companions because of the strange metal thing still pointing at them.

"Alright boys, put your weapons down. Rimmers, get our CO over here," The man ordered the other men as they finally removed their guns. "Oh and also, I'm sorry for the aggression back there, we just didn't expect any people in this damn forest."

"I hope we can move this past us. I'm Sergeant Rogers by the way." Rogers put his hand out as William turned around to finally get a good look of him. The man wore strange green patterned clothing that helped him blend into the environment.

Pointer that helped me: Read it out loud. Does it flow? Even without the action tags in between, does the conversation sound right? Reading it out loud and feeling it on your tongue can help you tell if your word choices are too stiff or unnatural.

And remember that “said” IS NOT actually dead. Too many flowery verbs to replace said (ex.: screamed, questioned, bellowed,) can be a distraction.

Watch a movie. Notice how often the camera focuses on only the face VS when it shows the whole body. Ask yourself why this choice was made. When the camera is showing only the face, imagine that it is dialogue with no extra body movement (“she said.”) But when it pulls out, imagine it is dialogue with an action attached (“she screamed, gesturing at him accusingly.”) This helped me, at least, to get a feel for how to use actions to heighten a scene.

Lastly, ask yourself how quickly the conversation is flowing. If it’s fast, don’t put many descriptors in between. Treat every sentence you write in a dialogue exchange as a few seconds of conversation. The time in between dialogue can feel like awkward silence to your reader’s mind. Do you want that awkward silence? Sometimes it’s good. It gives your reader time to really think about what was said. But sometimes it gives that information time to go cold.

I’m not an expert, obviously! But these were some tips that helped me a lot when I was starting!

BeriAH Thanks for the suggestion! Though it may take a while for my brain to process this as it is currently late in the evening.

PassingWriter

There's something clunky about it. A part of it is that every dialogue-chunk starts with the actual dialogue. You're also using non-standard dialogue-tags. In English all ending full stops are replaced by a comma, and the following tag starts with a lowecase letter.

So: "I see." Replied... is wrong. "I see," replied... is correct.

The part about lowercase is also valid for questions and exclamations. Eg: "What are you doing?" he said.

While you will need to disguise exposition as dialogue from time to time, if overdone readers are likely to notice spoken exposition in the end. The reason is that it comes out as a speech rather than one part of a dialogue -- for rather obvious reasons. The only time when spoken exposition comes natural is when you literally have a questions and answers scene. The stereotype would be when the heroes ask the professor how the new gadget works.

In the scene you provided someone (or several someones) has the MC under gun-point, which is a high tension scene. However, the dialogue reads as a debriefing, which pretty much gives the impression of a lecturer with a Power Point and students neatly lined up in their seats listening and taking notes. The discrepancy is huge.

PassingWriter No problem! I also wrote this kinda late in the evening, so my wording may be funny. I hope it helps?? If you need me to clarify, then let me know. I got these tips from a teacher and they helped me break some old dialogue habits.

PassingWriter

Technically yes. The book recommended above "Never date a man in pink" is by one of my favourite author and my reader. Her dialogue delivery is good track down her style.

SrtaA "William, an experienced and seasoned Adventurer with decades of experience under his belt, He was a Captain of a Militia back in his hometown before signing up to be an adventurer due to salary being not enough." IS what I had in mind, but yeah I think William being calm under a stressful situation is perfectly normal.

If so, just relax. It's perfectly fine. Unless he's most of an informal man in his average speech. In this case, change accordingly.