Regius_Sanguis
Sure, that's ok. I hope you enjoy it. It's fine even if you lose the urge to review, as I care more about what people think and what they like/dislike, so be sure to leave me comments.

I'll take a look at yours. Seems like a FF15/anime hybrid fanfic?

      kazesenken

      Yup. I made a decision to go against the norm of fan-fiction. Like creating my own MC and putting him in a different world.

      He's going to be OP in future, and be warned. I made the chapter long because I stylized it after western fantasy novrls. So, heads up.

          Content - in my opinion 4-5 stars.

          Text - from 3 stars. Bad English, grammatical errors.

          Pros, thanks to the advice of the reviewer, he began to use the humor thesaurus, it seems the text has come to life a little. Before pouring chapters, double-check once. This is the text.

          In content, new methods, knowing where to look for treasures are interesting.

          I need advice on improving the novel.

          Read chapters 1 through 4. Iā€™m rewriting it now, I began to rewrite chapter 5. It has already taken 7 hours. Still need at least 2 hours.

          If I did not give you a review, then I will write, if I did, I can write 5-6 comments on the chapters.

          my romance - https://www.webnovel.com/book/15195393805364505/The-Adventures-of-Treasure-Hunters

            Regius_Sanguis

            As I said before, don't be rushed to leave a review (you don't actually have to leave one if you don't want to). I would rather you take your time and enjoy the story and let me know your thoughts.

                kazesenken

                I am, and honestly, I'm liking the story so far. Every time I finish a chapter, I leave a comment, so it might take me a while to finish the story and then review. I might have to continue this tomorrow if I don't finish reading it today.

                I added it into my library, just in case :)

                    Regius_Sanguis

                    Thrilled that you like it enough to binge it. I'm currently staring hopelessly at slides as I work on a presentation that I have to make for work tomorrow.

                        The_Canary Thanks! You know, I have never read a paranormal book before, only watched shows on TV!

                            Regius_Sanguis reading now, very good material! Lengthy chapters make better books when stories are told right!

                                Regius_Sanguis
                                I did get around to reading the two chapters that you had. I think I would like to see a bit more before I can give a honest opinion of it. Do you expect to update soon?

                                From what I have read so far, I think you have a good setup, but it suffers slightly from wordiness.
                                Especially in the parts where 'nothing is really happening' as you say in your comments, those parts feel like they are being overly drawn out. The question I have to ask is, 'Why should the reader care that he's in this darkness? Why are you spending so much time explaining it, rather than moving the plot along?' If there is purpose or foreshadowing imbedded, then that is valid. If you just feel like being super descriptive, then it's probably not needed.
                                Ask yourself as you write, 'do these details add anything to the story?' If not, then cut them out. Effective story-telling starts with having a clear picture of what you want to focus on. And then forming the proper connections to your environments and characters that you add along the way. Your sudden jump from Hadrian to a classroom of kids was a bit jarring. I had to look back to see if I had somehow missed some reason for the transition, but there didn't seem to be.

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