OJROMANCE
Ok so, I read all the way to chapter 51. I was gonna write a scathing review reflecting the anger I felt for trying to read something that was clearly ran through google translate a few times. But around chapter 35 I realized Nana could be replaced with a pomeranian dog. After that I just stopped caring. Your main character has so little agency that I could mentally replace her with barking, and nothing, I'm serious, nothing changed. She had no agency at all in the story, shes just dumb. Everyone else seems to be able to come to their own conclusions about things that happen or things they learn, except her. Why?

And shes dumb. Did I mention that? She goes from fearing for her life and being disgusted by the ML's touch who molested her the night before, to skinny dipping with him the next chapter. Why? Why did you write this? These two human adults were acting like they were dating and flurting and all that, even though Nana felt fearful about telling her husband 'no'. She literally says that she feared he would beat her...

He also negs her during this chapter, calling her boring for not wanting to get naked with him even though he had molested her (he put his fingers UP THERE, :pray: ON JAH :pray: ) the night before.
Also, when you wrote the previous chapter from his POV, he very clearly didn't see her as a person with human emotions until she shouted at him and mentioned dead people. He excuses her because his (or her? its unclear) own mother had children at 17 and she, NANA, an 18 year old woman, just didn't know any better.
This is a grown man, talking about his wife, who he says he loves, and who he wants to have sex with, treating her like she is a child who never learned table manners. This is gross, on so many levels. Its not sexy. At all.

And the villans are soooo, dumb... it hurrrrtttss aaaaaaa.....
Why would you have a secret conversation within the palace, appearanly near enough to where Nana sleeps for her to just wander in on.
Why would a solider risk his life to frame Nana's brother, when he didn't get any parties thrown for him (am I reading this right?)
The motivations for these characters are so goddamn flimsy, and our cute little pom is just along for the ride most of the time. She acts like she just in the crook of someones arm... all the time. Shes just so flat...

Ok, so after her brother is not executed for a really confusingly explained reason ( a triple cross or something??), he monologues telling her and her handler Jandi (Jan-di?) in summary that theres mysterious goings on and that Nana's new owner the Emperor is in trouble. Oh and that his mom is actually his godmom, so he can't be evil.
Grateful that her previous owner (I-I mean big brother) didn't die, she does a 180 about how she feels about him, pushed further by the negging of her Emperor.
She decides shes ready to take the peen, and the sex lastes 20 seconds.

I'm pretty sure our dear author has never been in a healthy relationship before, or has never had good sex before. Or both...
TLDR, you are in dire need of an editor. Seek help.

    yaoyueyi
    I wanted to be sure I was right. I was :heart:.

    Clowniac
    I'm pretty sure this author is like..14 or something. They censor the sex words!!! Who does that?

      She's Nigerian. I suspect her first language is Hausa or Yoruba, but I could be mistaken. It does explain why her English might sound weird to someone whose is more used to American English or British English. This is not to say Nigerian English is bad - it's just a different dialect in the same way Singlish is a weird dialect of English conceived in Singapore. So if you're not a local, it might be difficult to catch the naunces or whatever.

      I'm going to play devil's advocate and point out that you being able to read 51 chapters before you hit the paywall is a sign that her story still managed to hook you nonetheless, which is far better than some stories where people can't even read past the first couple of chapters. However, it's not good enough for you to be willing to spend spirit stones on it.

        Tomoyuki
        I'm gonna be real with you man, I was reading out of spite and boredom (I work at a call center). But! That does not change the fact that her story is written poorly, her protagonast is flat, the ML (I can't remember his name I am soooo sorry) is a toxic person who doesn't see his wife as a human, just as a sleeve.
        The entire story procedes whether Nana says no or yes (she always says no btw). The only time she says yes is to THE SECKS, and thats after everyone around her tells her its the right answer.
        Why are you apologizing for this author? Why can't a work be in poor quality? Especially when said author has the nerve to @ as many random people as possible and plug her work. Even after is appearant that they only leave positive 3+ star reviews up for users to see?

        Who cares if shes Nigerian? Does that excuse her behavior? Does that excuse her poor writing? Should it?

          Lilliny Oh goodness, you actually read the 51 chapters? Gosh. I don't mean to be rude but even I was going to check the story but couldn't really go beyond the first chapter.

            LostInFictions
            Chapters 8-11 made me physically nauseous. I felt like I was reliving all those times older men made me feel uncomfortable. But, if the author's dumb enough to tell me I'm wrong until I hit 51, you bet I'm gonna be right. And a four and a half hour shift.

              Lilliny I'm not apologizing for her or saying her work is good. I'm merely offering an explanation as to why her writing appears bad or childish (you were guessing her age is 14 and wondered who censors sex words - perhaps Nigerians do?).

              I do agree with you that the male lead is extremely toxic and I find his treatment of Nana absolutely disgusting, despite his claims that he loves her (very important case of how show, not tell should be employed). And I also agree that Nana is a one-dimensional, flat main character, and that the story is...well, poorly written. That said, I'm in no position to criticize other people because my own writing skills and language are awful as f, so I can sympathize. Sympathy does not equate to denial, though.

                Lilliny I am so sorry to hear that but then, I guess that's just a part of being a woman and it's awful. We all have been in the same place at some point in time in life. One has to be lucky enough not to go through the same.

                I didn't go beyond the first couple of paragraphs I knew how it was going to be and this is not what I prefer to read. I am sorry if this hurts you, dear author, but your ratings honestly surprise me. Even if I consider that a bunch of people truly liked your concept but full marks for writing when you clearly have grammar issues?

                  Tomoyuki
                  Nah its ok, Nigerians probably do be like that... but even so.. why write a novel with secks in it then? You don't have to answer, it just boggles the mind is all....

                  LostInFictions
                  I had to reread the first couple of chapters because I 100% thought Nana was 10, and I was just trying to figure out if I skipped some sort of indication of forward movement in time. I did not... the summary says that shes ten and that in the future she'd end up in the palace, so I kinda thought it would start when she was 10. Thank god I figured it out by the skinny dipping saga, becasue I was really close to reporting it Webnovel.

                    Gourmet_DAO If you're writing an English novel but your grasp of the language is poor THAN an editor is a MUST! It can drop a potential 4 or 5 star novel down to 1 to 2 stars just food for thought!

                      Tomoyuki I wonder why you would say that! Somehow, for some odd reasons, I don't really think that you write as awfully as you claim to do.

                        His writing is really good, its just the readers on this site aren't used to actual characters whom they can't live through, so they get butt-mad. Tomo is a god cliche-er, somehow turning something I've seen so many times before into a story thats interesting and fun.
                        Uh, I mean... the story is bad.. and... why is main character so dumb?! hmm? fix now! make him like me, or else!

                          Lilliny I see but yes, it truly hurts when readers fail to understand the characters the way, we, writers want them to do. It absolutely hurts. Not that I am saying they are obliged to but, it hurts when they don't.

                          I remember, there was this story that I was writing. I have always had a thing for perfect or near-perfect characters so I ended up creating a man who my readers went crazy over and I had expected the same but somewhere in the process, they forgot that the story was more about the female protagonist than him. They overlooked her pain and one day, when he made probably his first mistake - she decided that they were over. Now you might judge her here and anybody who hasn't read it would do because unless one reads how their characters and situations have been, one can't understand her decision but when my readers, who have read the tale, didn't understand and approve her decision - gosh, it had made me feel so bad... so bad that I can't even put it in words.

                            Tomoyuki are any of your stories on WN? I'd love to read them... Lol if you don't mind that is

                              Lilliny wow you read 52 chapters! I'm truly impressed. I know it wasn't for me, but anyway Thank You, I feel a little vendicated. At least someone else saw what I saw.

                                The synopsis sounds really interesting, I'll check it out πŸ‘

                                  OJROMANCE Of course I did. I was trying to help explain to other people why you wrote the story the way you did. I'm beginning to regret it now, given how you're turning on me and talking to me in such a condescending tone.

                                  Lilliny what hatred makes you do and still yet, I (the proud author) have super fans who even gifts my book crown. Please guys, keep the comments coming so that people who hate it will hate it more and those who love it, will read it in the processπŸ˜…

                                    OJROMANCE Why would you presume that I don't read romance? I just read nicely written romance and romance, for me, has got a lot more to do with emotional intimacy than just physical.

                                    Besides, I have written a constructive criticism for you, which obviously didn't seem to have got your attention. I am upset with myself for taking out time to read and write that for you but thank you, I need to remind myself time and again where to invest my time and where not to.

                                      Yeah, your arrogance is really displaying itself very clearly for all to see.

                                      I've always maintained that people will like different things, and I'm sure you'll have fans who love your story and are willing to donate it. Nothing wrong with that. If you enjoy writing your story, please continue and don't let any criticism discourage you.

                                      However, I would advise you to be a little more humble.

                                      Also, I don't know how some of your readers will respond when they see you posting this:

                                      OJROMANCE I have readers who gifts my book and I'm not begging for gifts.

                                      In case you don't know, non bought coins with real money ain't giving me nothing.

                                      Perhaps you never intended for it to mean that way, but you're basically complaining about your readers who gave you non-monetary gifts as giving you nothing. Way to appreciate your readers and scorn their support, eh?

                                        Tomoyuki I'm fucking trending!!!
                                        Some people are really funny, is it not my writing?

                                        Ariana Grande even sang : I like it, I get it ..if you don't like it, then don't get it. But seriously, keep the comment coming ..uhπŸ˜‚

                                        And to those who think I'm gonna apologize ..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

                                          OJROMANCE Good for you, I guess?

                                          No one is expecting an apology. No one is denying that your story is popular. There will be people who like your story, and people who hate your story. But there is no need for you to be rude, arrogant and condescending, is there?

                                            OJROMANCE Arrogance doesn't help in the long run. I am sure you know that. I sincerely hope that you never have to regret your tone, words and especially the talent of insulting and mocking others. Keep it up.

                                              Tomoyuki Boo, respect is reciprocal and so goes to humbleness. If you don't humble yourself first, then don't request it from others. I only reply those who tweet at me.

                                                Tomoyuki Remember honey that I wasn't the one who started this trend so (Don't put the blame on me) song by Rag'n'Bone Man.

                                                  OJROMANCE But I'm not arrogant enough to post my story when it's not asked for, I'm not arrogant enough to talk down to others in a condescending tone like you, and I'm not arrogant enough to dismiss criticism when directed at me.

                                                  I'm also not arrogant enough to show off the ranking of my story or boast about how it's on trending either. Nor do I care about rankings, trending or popularity.

                                                  If I'm rude, I apologize, and I know you're pretty offended at having all your faults pointed out at you, but I tried to do it in good faith. If it didn't come across that way, then sorry about that.

                                                    LostInFictions My god, you seriously need this advice. The way people don't know that the advice they give can seriously turn their life around is amusing ..very.

                                                      Tomoyuki where is that someone. There is a job opening for you!! quickly grab it before it will pass you byπŸ˜‚

                                                        OJROMANCE Jesus Christ...what trend? Start what?

                                                        Let's see what happened. Gem4Life complained that you deleted her review.

                                                        I was like, um, okay, I haven't read the story so I'm going to reserve judgement, but from what you said, it certainly sounds disturbing.

                                                        You jump in and start pinging everyone and shoving your story down our throats. I'm like, okay. I'm going to be fair and give your story a chance, read it and see if it's as bad as Gem4Life made it out to be.

                                                        People were bashing your story. I explained that perhaps you were unfamiliar with the language and thus the flaws and bad writing could be explained by you not being a native speaker, and that certain choice of style, such as censoring specific words, could be attributed to you belonging to another culture. Thus I was arguing that people shouldn't be too harsh on you because you did your best under the circumstances.

                                                        Then you jump in here, start talking down to me in a condescending tone, and acting all arrogant.

                                                        Respect is reciprocal? You certainly didn't return any respect at all. Instead, you repaid my attempt to give you a fair chance with sarcasm, arrogance and condescension. And you want to talk to me about respect is reciprocal? Wow. Just...wow.

                                                        I'm going to wash my hands off this bloody affair. And you know what's the funniest thing? You're the one who came barging into this thread begging people to give you a chance and judge for themselves instead of going off Gem4Life's comments even though she did you the courtesy of not naming you. And when I tried to give you a fair chance, you spurned it. Okay, congratulations. Go celebrate your Trending, Ranking, Readers' Gifts, whatever. Why even bother trying to defend yourself and asking peope to check your story out if you're going to bash them in return?

                                                          LostInFictions Honey, did you seriously leave a review ..wow, I hope you saw the other 77 reviewer and you do know that they're not robots ..right.

                                                          50 bad reviews can't kill a book and like I said earlier, I don't delete negative reviews so I'm not gonna delete yours and besides, it gonna stay hidden because the true and genius reviews are covering it like the way Jesus covers his children from bad things.

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