Thirtieth Thought: Whenever Someone asks to see my Works (Art + Writings)
My reaction for novels: sweats profusely No, I am fine not showing you my atrocious writing style.
A minute later...Remembers 18+ scenes in a few of them HELL TO ZE NO!
My reaction for art: Nono, nonono, I do not wish to pay for glasses or damage to the eyes. Here, have a roughly drawn heart instead! Hehehehe
Thirty-First Thought: I'm a Chilly Person
Thirty-Second Thought: Finding Folded Corners in Books
Whether it is a novel, textbook, encyclopedia or anything with multiple pages, I feel bad whenever I see a folded corner. I have never folded pages for bookmarks and I have tried a few times, but it feels like a sin. I once cried because I had a book in my schoolbag and by the end of the day, another book was wedged between it pages. I destroyed the book's smooth pages and I felt terrible for a night.
I think I feel bad when I see creases or folded paper because in most cases, the lines will remain forever. Well, not forever, but for as long as the book is still going around.
Saaaame. I'm also awfully careful about book spines and don't dare crack them too wide. I get terribly guilt if I make any damage to books.
But on the other hand I don't mind finding folded pages in used books. (not cracked spines- that's a no no for me). If I borrow or but a used book with folded pages I find it interesting. It's kinda charming. As if:
"Ah there is something special to this page" "this is where someone left off" "this is the page they want to go back to".
Yeah care for paperbacks are important. I try to use heavy grade matte finishes for my books. As I noticed glossy covers will crease easier and show the creases even more than matte or semi gloss finishes. I pretty much stress test my proof copies to see if I need to revise material selections for longevity. As I aim for my paperbacks to be a premium lasting experience.
My favorite book babies are treated with care and delicacy on my shelves. Especially my BL manga. 
CCmei Oh, book spines are another thing I treat like glass. School textbooks rarely have intact spines and it feels so odd holding one. I always try to fix broken or peeled spines but apparently, putting tape on it is not allowed.
The way you think about folded pages is interesting because more often than not, I find folded page corners to serve one purpose: book marking. If others fold things for looking back, alright. For me, I do a few things when I read. I have a document on my PC and a notebook that I keep beside me for taking notes on certain books. I put the name, favourite characters and best quotes. This way, I won't have to damage the books and I can have the things I like even when I've returned the book to the library. It takes more work, but I enjoy having personal summaries of books I read.
Chryiss true, I like aesthetic sights and seeing torn items make my hands itch. I have the urge to tape or sew things back, but I know it won't look the best. It's so sad.
Veronica8 Hehehe BL mangas. Besides that, you did mention good ideas. If I ever buy books, I would hope to have hardcovers or ones with nice protection. I am a clumsy person...not with books though.
Thirty-Second Thought: I can't Differentiate Between Black, Blue and Purple Pencil Crayons (Sometimes)
I like to draw, but I rarely use pencil crayons or markers. Currently, I have about 750+ pencil crayons and 50+ markers. Anyway, whenever I do colour, I pick up the pencil crayons of colours I need without reading which colour they are. If I need an orange-red I will take it without checking if it is orange-red or another red. The same goes for markers.
So, I sometimes use purple thinking it is black because I only judge the color of the wood and lead. I use black thinking it is purple. I use blue thinking it is purple...so on. Somehow, I'm always shocked when the wrong colour comes out and I keep making the same mistakes. I always laugh at purple water and black blueberries.
DarkRay Hehe, yup. Whatever you're speaking of, I'm still going at it (I think you're talking about posting, but I'm not entirely sure). Ah, I won't even start with my writing. The simple mistakes I make are atrocious and I think my grammar is underdeveloped.
Aw, I love to draw and write. It's kind of interesting how my blurbs can remind others of someone else.
Thirty-Third Thought: Being Beautiful and Ugly? (Beware the Pointless Rant Down Below)
My mother constantly tells me I should change my face and ugly clothes because a girl must be pretty. Now, I wonder how she never seems to understand that I want to be myself. I wear black but she calls it the color of evil. I refuse to wear make-up because it makes my skin dry and I feel stuffy. She claims she wants me to look presentable to society, but what the hell does that even mean?
I curl my hair and people call me beautiful. My hair is straight, I'm called a basic Asian. I cut my hair and they call me a boy wannabe or a tomboy. I wear skirts and they call my legs hairy. I wear what I like and I'm called depressing. I change my shoes and they say I look unnatural in heels. I look beautiful in red dresses.
I cannot satisfy everyone and I'm sure I feel depressed because I can't be myself, not because I am called ugly. Although being called ugly every other day by the one who birthed me hurts, parading around with a smile hurts the most. I am fine with being fake at certain times, but all the time is impossible.
My mom always uses the 'people would rather look at a pretty person' and I only shrug. If that's what they want, they can ignore me for all I care. Why would I want to surround myself by people who focus on looks more than who I am as a person? Heck, I've been a loner for a while but I do know how to get along with others. I make friends based off of their mind and I love people because of their personality. I can't believe others would not think the same but ah well, I'm a 'dumb, naive girl'!
I am just trying to find myself in this world and I don't think dressing the way I do would kill anyone. The way I act would not endanger others. If no one in this world will accept me for who I am, at least I should love myself. I want to be recognized for every aspect of me. I don't care if people remember my bad moments or ugliest moments, I just don't want to be judged like a book cover. I don't want to be treated like a doll who will stay still while others change me.
I know that the outside world can be harsh at times and I've experienced it enough to know my mother only hopes I do not experience too much, but the way she makes her thoughts known really pricks my heart. The fact she doesn't think my personality and talents is what others would want to see really hurts. I wish I can tell her how I feel, but she always shuts me down before I can get my point across.
Now, I always keep my mouth shut when she talks about my small eyes (that I got from my father). She makes me shave although my hair grows back quickly (thanks again, dad). She buys me pink clothing that she makes me wear to social gatherings. Then she wonders why I always look dead at weddings. She buys expensive make-up to cover my freckles and healing pimples. I'd rather use hundreds of dollars to save for university.
She loves taking pictures of me and sharing them on Facebook. Her friends and relatives comment on her great parenting, raising such a beautiful girl. I've seen a comment where a man was trying to get my mom's opinion on his son. In reality, The man's probably looking for someone who would one day marry his son so his family could follow the son out of the country.
I should also look nice for the males? Ha, why would I want to be reduced to a piece of meat? I don't want to be enjoyed and discarded whenever.
I don't like being used. I don't like attention. I loathe drama and I hate being groomed by more 'experienced' people. Sometimes I just want to shout: JUST LET ME BE MYSELF OR I WILL DO STUFF TO MAKE YOU REALIZE I WAS WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED!
Sorry for the aggressive rant, I got so frustrated when my mom asked me why I don't try my best to heal bruises I received from sports. I don't want to feel guilty for being real. I do care about my looks, but not to the extent where I feel as if my identity hangs on what is on or not on my face. I have been called beautiful and ugly by people who don't even know me. It gets annoying. Fine, call me whatever but don't try to change me because I'm not trying to change anyone by wearing black or acting more like a boy.
ValKree You be you.
Eventually, one day, you’ll want to do all those things, maybe just for a special or fun occasion. But until then, and even then, you do what you’re comfortable in. But don’t be afraid to experiment or try something new.
I like pretty clothes, jewelry, and makeup, but my daily look is bare face and typically just earrings only.
( I can’t do makeup. I just like watching beauty vids think I can somehow passively learn while also enjoying these masters’ magical transformation skills. xD )
You obviously know the truth of not listening to others’ judgements and opinions based on your post. So embrace and enjoy your amazing self!
Chryiss My only goal is being myself.
If I'm in the right mindset and mood, I would dress differently as long as I feel comfortable and confident. The issue I struggle daily with is that I am not allowed to pick and choose when I want to be 'prettier'. I always have to be pretty and I'm not comfortable or confident when I'm forced to wear what I don't want.
I do like trying new things, but at my own pace. I am a pretty selfish person when it comes to happiness. I do watch makeup tutorials and I go on Pinterest for cute outfit ideas, but only when I feel interested enough.
I have applied makeup on friends because it is an art form, but I would never consciously put anything on my face.
I do wear jewelry although I ditched earrings just last year. I'm a clumsy person who manages to snag earrings on anything with hooks. Besides that, the jewelry I wear are not cute or girly enough for my mother.
I'm usually insulted for loving myself and sometimes, it's so frustrating. On top of everything else I must worry about on the streets, I have to watch how appealing I look? Its hard when it seems I need to defend myself from everyone else.
Thank you for your comment. After a bleak day, your support really brought a smile to my face. 
[unknown] Insulted for loving yourself. 
That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Loving yourself is not equivalent to being self-centered, so whoever said that is just.... shakes head
They need more BTS in their lives. 
Chryiss Welp, people feel attacked and entitled to everything these days. There have been many things I've received hate for and I will slowly share them here. Sometimes, I wonder why humans are so arrogant that they push each other down. I am self-centred at times but only when it doesn't harm anyone.
Haha, true. I love BTS.
Thirty-Fourth Thought: Different Writing Styles
So, I have been going through each of my books and I noticed that each one is slightly different from the others in terms of writing style. The level of formality, sentence structure, way to describe the same things... is all different. Even the way I write paragraphs is different. One book's average paragraph length could be a whole essay while another novel's is three sentences. Then, I also realized that I put more effort when the novel is new and slowly, quality seems to fly out the window. What a bad habit I have!
It's like different people are writing my books and I'm not sure if readers would notice the differences.
yaoyueyi
The Queen speaks to me?
I wish that is the case, but I'm not sure if it is. The big differences are between books and each one is written differently. It's like one distinct writing style for each one. Somehow, I manage to write in more than three different hands.
The difference within parts of novels is clearly not improvement if it seems like a high school student suddenly becomes an elementary school kid. I do try to improve though.
Slowly but surely. Maybe one day my different writing styles will merge. That'll be one wacky style.
Thirty-Fifth Thought: Currently Procrastinating
I should be working on an assignment, a package for biology ISU (Independent Study Unit) and I have a quiz after the long weekend is over. Nah...im gonna go on three writing platforms and lurk in the forums!
Swap codes? for coins?
Thirty-Sixth Thought: Entering Novel into a Contest. Why do I Keep Starting New Books?
As the subtitle suggests, I've entered a contest for the second time on WN. I'm already struggling with other novels and burnout is still around, but I felt too excited to start this new novel. I'm going to make each chapter short so I can update frequently and hopefully, stack up many drafts before the contest ends. I already dropped the novel from a contest although I had a good plot in mind. I don't know if I want to drop this new one...
ValKree I have so many ideas for novels, but I've been trying to stick to one or a few. I used to have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing, but now I've controlled it and felt more productive ever since. Additionally, it's fun trying to incorporate the basic concepts of one story idea in an existing one. It makes that existing one feel "meatier" and more impressive somehow.
Good luck though! And let me know which novel if you want; I don't mind taking a look~ ;)
ShikadaAki No, wrong thread. Actually, not even that. Just no.
(it's considered spam)
Chryiss yep, I have at least 2 novels I know I won't drop early and somehow, I still start new ones. I usually update slower after a week and honestly, I don't know if I will ever finish although I want to. It's great that you're feeling productive. I wish I can juggle writing with everything else in life, but writing is just a hobby. I can't take it as seriously as I want.
I struggle with having more concepts in one story. I don't plan anything for my novels, but I do have a basic plotline for each one. I think it's good to incorporate ideas but my ideas are only plot-related. I've ruined plotlines a few times by being too wishy-washy.
Oof, I'm not sure if I'd want my role model taking a look at works I write during the night. I don't know where three collections came from and it's already scaring me. (o.o)
I do need luck. I have written two parts and I am currently writing the third chapter. I'm trying to update daily at least for a week after the contest ends.
Chryiss I didn't even understand the question posed. Even then, shouldn't users know how to use codes? There have been too many threads about invitation codes and I still haven't considered the fact that I have one. XD
Edit: Veronica8 and someone else sent powerstones. I'm going to die now...I shall return as a ghost!
Thirty-Seventh Thought: I Wish I Can Dance
It's not even the fact that I'm clumsy and I have stepped on many boys' feet before, it's just my tendency to forget steps. I don't remember choreographies and I can't do something over and over again. Even if I write with a pencil for a long time, the pencil starts to move in wonky ways. I probably won't be able to work at assembly lines because I'll be fine...until a certain amount of time.
I think it's my free soul that just wants to do what it wants.
I've taken some dance lessons and I try to follow videos on the Macarena (I hope that's how it's spelt. I'll be back if it is incorrect), but I always screw up. I will try again and I'll be fine for a good amount of time before I forget or can't follow a dance.
Dancing looks so cool and I know it takes a lot of practice, but it's just not for me. Writing and drawing will always be my thing.
ValKree Oh no. I don’t feel productive. My writing dedication to one or select stories is “productive.” But my life is anything but that.
Yes and no. The info about codes if there is you want to share. But promoting on forum is a no-no because everyone already is on WN so it defeats the purpose. Also, I just don’t want spammers on your lovely thread. 
Chryiss I know, and I think that's still great. If I can't be productive in life, I would like to be productive with my writing at least...but nope! I'm very wishy-washy.
I never used codes, but I do know that it's meant to invite others who do not have WN. I think invitation codes for most applications also work like this. It's a bit annoying to see spammers, yes, but I also find it slightly funny. Awww my thread is nothing much. Spammers will be buried with my own posts sooner or later.
(I'm planning to start another thread similar to this diary format, however, I'm an uninteresting person.)
Thirty-Eighth Thought: Am I Already a Year Old here?
It seems that I had an account on WN for a year now, but the thing is I didn't touch it until November of 2019? Somewhere around there...Ah, the time I've lost. Also, I discovered there is a badge for being registered for a decade? Damn, if I am still here after three years, that's already my maximum. XD
Thirty-Ninth Thought: Puns!
My current best friend loves puns and we call him "Pun Master (fun master)". I also like puns and our general friend circle like puns too...except one girl. This story happened just yesterday in Calc class.
Friend 1: Hands a piece of paper to friends who hate puns. The paper had a drawing of a bee and it said: "You are sweet"
Friend who hates puns: Did you waste paper to make this horrible pun?
Friend 1: Show the others!
Friend 2: Peeks Oh, honey, isn't that a great thing?
Friend who hates puns: Another one!
Friend 3: Your words sting our hearts.
Friend who hates puns: Facepalms
Friend 2: I can't bee-lieve you hate puns!
Friend who hates puns: ...
Me: You have to admit, it was a great pun made on the fly!
Friend who hates puns: Does a double take You're in this too?
Me: Don't hive it, you secretly buzz with joy inside!
Fortieth Thought: Dance Class for Phys Ed
If you scroll up a bit, I have stated that I cannot dance although I try and wish to. Well, I got great news yesterday. In three days, after the weekend, a dance instructor will be coming in to teach us a dance. I forgot the name, but it starts with an 'a'. I'll have to pay $2 and my remaining dignity...I can't wait (totally sarcasm).
Forty-First Thought: Writing in All-Caps
In grade 9 English class, I had to proofread a classmate's rough draft of her essay. I almost died upon seeing she writes everything in capitals and I wondered whether she does this with tests and other stuff. My eyes were already poor, but after seeing her handwriting for the first time, I went crosseyed for a good minute. For the rest of the day, my eyes twitched whenever I saw any handwriting.
The other problem was that she did not indent to show the start of new paragraphs. All I could see was a wall of capital letters written with a pink gel pen. I also hate pink so I felt the urge to rip her paper, but that would have been cruel. Cruel and insulting, so I meditated in the lotus position on my chair.
Sigh...when being friends with two people did not work out. I edited her whole essay after having the teacher ask me how we were doing. If the teacher had not asked, I would have pretended to read every word to find fewer mistakes. The things I did in that class for good marks...
I also hate seeing 'all capital' comments online. It's so obnoxious and uneccessary. Exclamation marks exist for a reason, but should not be abused either.
Forty-Second Thought: Favourite Number
Mine is 1101, what about yours?
I have seen many 8's and 1's but my favourite number is a 4-digit number.
ValKree They do feel hurt though. Thank you for being so nice to the trees. They'd really be happy if you spoke to them too!
WidelyGrinning XD I'm a crazy person who speaks to the trees often. I also speak for the trees.
Nice profile pic too.
