Not a review swap, but free collection adds
So weird, my novel has like 250K views and it sucks LOL
Title: Wanted Wanters
Genres: Shounen-Seinen, Action, Comedy, Fantasy-Adventure, Dark, Military
Synopsis: Want something?
Just think about it and you shall have it.
Money, women, power, name it and you shall have it in your grasp.
Welcome to the World of Wanters.
Dillon Ainsworth is like any other high school student except he was born with a special ability. One day he meets a mysterious man who knows about his ability after befriending that man he soon finds himself caught in a conflict between two organizations who want to use his ability for their ulterior motives.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/wanted-wanters_18203162106825905
AuHNG my fairytale
AuHNG
1https://m.webnovel.com/book/my-fairytale_18800096006221205
Want to try my book out?
https://www.webnovel.com/book/detective-w's-mysteries_18500920105921105
Sincerely,
CodeW
This is my first book, and I'm just gonna drop the link here. Shares, comments, reveiws will all be appreciated. Thanks
Title: The Dark Line Between
Link: https://m.webnovel.com/book/dark-line-between_18817897005142505
This is my first book, and I'm just gonna drop the link here. Shares, comments, reveiws will all be appreciated. Thanks
Title: The Dark Line Between
Link: https://m.webnovel.com/book/dark-line-between_18817897005142505
I'm liking your honest, critical reviews. You don't get that as often anymore. Please read mine if you get the chance! I'm a new and budding author. This book is more so about the complexities of mental health, romance, and the brink of war on the human species. It follows a non- human underdog protagonist and describes his struggles against society and rebellion.
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/18765450505913905?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4315044108
I'm liking your honest, critical reviews. You don't get that as often anymore. Please read mine if you get the chance! I'm a new and budding author. This book is more so about the complexities of mental health, romance, and the brink of war on the human species. It follows a non- human underdog protagonist and describes his struggles against society and rebellion.
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/18765450505913905?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4315044108
blurb is too wordy in a bad way. It sounds like rambling. You need to separate some of the sentences into shorter length.
After a certain mermaid was not able to bring herself to kill the prince and dissolved into a foam, she found herself reincarnated as a mermaid spirit in the 21st century in South Korea. She has achieved what she has always wanted, and that is to become a human, but when someone splashes water on her bare feet, she becomes a mermaid. In this life, she found out the evil sea witch's descendant was a man who happened to be able to transform himself from a fisherman's son to a rich businessman and the CEO of the company that she's currently working on. But then, she has to successfully make the prince, whom she vaguely remembers his face, fall in love with her within 100 days to become human again. Chaos arrives when she finds herself torn between the two people who made her life miserable. Will she be able to carry out her mission to make the reincarnated prince fall for her or will she fall in love with one of the two along with the process?
After a certain mermaid was not able to bring herself to kill the prince and dissolved into a foam, she found herself reincarnated as a mermaid spirit in the 21st century in South Korea. She has achieved what she has always wanted: to become a human. Still, when someone splashes water on her bare feet, she becomes a mermaid. In this life, she finds (use present here, because blurb) out the evil sea witch's descendant is a man who happens* to be able to transform himself from a fisherman's son to a rich businessman (this part is extremely confusing, happens to be able (is wordy) but it also means something that could happen again, especially the "be able" part, in your context, you're saying that he DID transform himself, which would be better phrased as: She finds out... a man who managed to transform himself (climb the ranks) from a fisherman's son to a rich businessman.
He is also the CEO of the company that she's currently working on. Yet, she has to successfully make the prince, whom she vaguely remembers his face (so unnecessarily wordy), fall in love with her within 100 days to become human again. Chaos arrives when she finds herself torn between the two people who made her life miserable. Will she be able to carry out her mission to make the reincarnated prince fall for her or will she fall in love with one of the two along with the process?
You have way to many prepositions in the same sentence and some are used incorrectly. You want to use present tense for summary/blurb, and past tense for novels.
I might just rewrite this for you:
After a certain mermaid fails to kill the prince and tragically dissolves into sea-foam, she finds herself reincarnated in 21st century, South Korea. Finally, she has achieved what she has always wanted: to become a human. Still, whenever someone splashes water on her bare feet, she reverts back into a mermaid. In this life, she finds out that the evil sea witch's descendant is a man who managed to transform himself from a poor, fisherman's son to a rich businessman and the CEO of the company that she currently works for. At the same time, she has to successfully make the prince, whose face she vaguely remembers, fall in love with her. With only 100 days on the clock, she has to find a way to become human again. Chaos ensues when she finds herself torn between the two people who had made her life miserable. Will she be able to carry out her mission to make the reincarnated prince fall for her or will she fall with the evil witch's descendent instead?
And I see that the tense changes happen in your novel as well. You go from "I am wearing to I wore", with the entire paragraph mostly in past tense.
Present tense is allowed for example when you keep things strictly in present tense, or used in a clause, but when used stand-offishly, it's very awkward. Not to mention, novel convention is to write in past tense, and if you're writing in third person, present tense rarely works well. Present tense is often used poorly.
You're writing in first person, which means you can use present tense, but, when present tense is done incorrectly, it's extremely clunky
- Edited
I feel like your writing is getting to be pretty, but the the clutter makes it harder for it to shine. You tend to use long sentences, and some of them are run ons with independent clauses. You switch way too much between present and past tense.
And I don't mean like:
I was running through the house when she interrupted, breaking my thoughts. (which is cohesive)
More like:
I was running through the house. She interrupts and breaks my thoughts. (this is too jarring)
It seems as if your novel might work better in past tense mostly, and present tense when addressing readers, but keep it cohesive in one paragraph.
Hi, just skimmed through this post and d*mn you give honest feedback. Anyways, here is my novel. Not too much romance, so hopefully it will not be too boring! It's about Cinderella, but different. The key elements are all there: The Shoe, The Ball, The Prince, The Stepfamily, etc. I made it more realisic and gave it my own twist. Please give it a read!
https://www.webnovel.com/book/a-cinderella-story---untold-files_18204031106830705
One thing I find is that you're not keeping tense consistent.
If I could copy and past, I would show you what I mean, but basically, you write
I found... he sits... I came... He was... I forget.
All in the same paragraph.
Try to keep tense at least the same in one paragraph. Otherwise you end up with something that's not cohesive.
- Edited
Another thing is that I notice you tend to throw a lot of references, but too many can be a bit distracting. Try to keep it balanced. Not every piece of dialogue needs to have an entire metaphor behind it.
Writings not bad, I would say it's decent, except for a few idiosyncrasies. The metaphors that you use aren't bad either... they feel very intriguing. If you fix your grammar a bit and keep the tenses more consistent, your writing would be really good. I'm impressed.
blurb, don't write mc/fl, just write their names.