Hello, here's another of my book:
https://www.webnovel.com/book/path-of-survival_18822634205166405
If you're interested in martial arts, of course.
Sincerely,
CodeW
Hello, here's another of my book:
https://www.webnovel.com/book/path-of-survival_18822634205166405
If you're interested in martial arts, of course.
Sincerely,
CodeW
AuHNG I have no idea why it is listed as a romance. It is not a romance book. It's fantasy adventure is how I have it as.
hey this is link to my book hope you will enjoy it.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/spider-lily_15025543405510605
don't be shy to hit me with whatever u think. i will add your book to the library right now. please add mine too
mc is a gary su and sounds a bit annoying in the first chapter.
The intro is also not extremely compelling, and also sounds a bit too meta.
...He introduces the book.
the second chapter is borderline not understandable.
bunch of characters that aren't described just dumped into a scenario.
Readers can't read your mind.
some syntax errors
the structure of your novel is also weird.
You info dump in the beginning, and then switch to someone's pov every chapter.
the mc feels obnoxious...
you still have cap errors in the latest chapters.
Continue writing, I guess. The blurb is ok, tho. MC still sounds... terribly egoistic.
Here is my book:
https://www.webnovel.com/book/citrigar-of-eons-and-dreams_18820141906312905
The earlier on I can fix some things, the better.
does your synopsis mean she's technically nonbinary? Lol, living as both genders.
the way you describe thing is kinda boring, punctuation and capitalization errors, you're telling too much in the first chapter.
You first chapter seems like an outline more than an actual chapter. The second chapter is better, but certain parts are still clunky.
You have a paragraph in ch 2 that could be sep into more paragraphs, it's too cluttered, talks ab too many things, and has too many tense changes and continuity errors. Going from one thing to another...
well you can say that.
but she does not change much outside except you know...
i have quite fun writing her changes but that chapters are not out yet.
yeah i know i try to improve all that as i go. i always think i am not giving enough info and then end up talking too much. juts like in real life.
good news is that your info dump incorporates well into the first chapter, so there's that, and the writing is pretty good. Setting is established well.
Still, certain parts feel like you're telling the story rather than actually engrossing the readers. 10th paragraph is probs the most jarring, simply because you go from general worldbuilding to focus on two kids and you write: two children could be seen, maybe write "were desperately seen...." instead of "could be seen" to reduce clutter and make it a bit more cohesive.
Check the cohesiveness of the 11th paragraph, think there's a mistake there.
also edit: I realize that it was in fact being told, but I still don't like the 10th paragraph haha.
your novel is really interesting.
thanks for the honesty really . sometimes people are embarrassed to do that.
will try to take your advices into consideration really thank you sensei. >.<
AuHNG thanks for the honesty, I read it over and changed some things.
AuHNG Hello, thank you for your review! It's my first time trying to write so I don't really know how to Ahah. I even stop at some point it's been months since I have stopped to write.... Any way many thanks for taking the time to read!!
Don't know If my book is to Your tastebut please check it out when you can. It's a romance with a little mystery.
Is this thread still open? I'm going to drop mine. Hehe. I'm reading the comments and replies and I think leaving my link is worth it. Hehe, The original chap 1 is entitled. Bloody Night of La Selencia hehe bye bye
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/18217212905745705?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4308455831
AuHNG
surrender to grief
https://www.webnovel.com/book/surrender-to-grief_18558040005128205
Lead me to the mansion
https://www.webnovel.com/book/lead-me-to-the-mansion_18558040206287205
Hellcome
https://www.webnovel.com/book/hellcome_18558040405128305
I hope you read them, your read is enough for me, the vote comment or view is only a plus for me. I hope you'd check them out...
AuHNG I get what you mean and I agree with you. I haven't started using Grammarly in my first 20 chapters of my story (I never edit them too), hence, the messy sentences/incomplete thought processes as a result. I'll try to edit them in my free time! Thank you for pointing them out! :)
[unknown]
grammarly is pretty useful for small mistakes, but writing is something you have to work on by yourself.
[unknown]
huh
Added yours to my collection. Heres my link
Link : https://www.webnovel.com/book/celestial-ascension_18641046905420505
Try this out.
A Science fiction novel almost similar to Wuxia novel but scientifically explained.
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/15912839205298105?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4301449192
https://www.webnovel.com/book/embracing-the-villain's-thigh_18730976305761305
AuHNG id like to collect urs ((: hope u can collect mines too
Others have the sun, but I have you.
Xu Wenqi transmigrated into a dog-blooded book as the villainess childhood sweetheart of the male lead! Offending the male lead, she made up her mind to hug the golden thighs of the villain to ensure her survival. However, the villain is cold, paranoid, and ruthless. No one knows how much of a burden he has to carry being schizophrenic. -
Disclaimer: This is a warm, healing novel and may not fully and accurately represent those with mental disorders, especially schizophrenia patients.
Hi, how about trying mine? It's a fantasy story titled Divine Fate. There's lots of adventures, actions, and mysteries.
Feedback is much appreciated
Link: Divine Fate
Synopsis:
From the moment she was born, Cierre knew she was different from the others. For starters, she was born from a tree. Not only that, she was able to walk and speak the moment she opened her eyes to the world. She had basic knowledge like a person that had been living in society for a good few years.
So, why was she born different? What was the purpose of her birth?
This was something Cierre had been questioning herself. It wasn't until her coming of age ceremony did she has a glimpse of the answers she was looking for.
Cierre received a prophecy. One bearing an ill-omened fate, and knew she ought to put a stop to this terrible fate. Not because she wished to be a mighty heroine that saved the world. No, it was because this future would bring disaster to everything, including those precious to her. Her family, her friends, the beautiful residence she called her home and the city she had been living her whole life. Oh, how terrible would that be if they were to be ruined.
"You wish to ruin everything in your sight? Go ahead. It has nothing to do with me. However, mess with what I deem precious, be it my fate or not, I will kill you without mercy."
On her quest to find the answer for her life-long questions and put a stop to a terrible fate, Cierre met many people and experienced many things. She encountered joy and sorrow.
Amongst all things that she had experienced, there was only one person who made a massive impact on her life. She had put his name in a big bold red letters on her mental note. This person would pester her non-stop and caused her blood to spike most of the time and at other times, confusion. Oh, and maybe a bit of happiness. Just a bit.
And so, the gears of fate began to turn. Moving towards the divine fate.
Hello!! I've just added your book to my collections and I'd be really grateful if you could do the same for mine. If you're still leaving feedback, I would really appreciate some comments on my story. I paused writing recently because of my schedule, but plan to resume regular updates. Have a great day!
https://www.webnovel.com/book/tales-of-a-peculiar-pirate_18571957206338505
https://m.webnovel.com/book/at-last-i-found-you-in-my-world_18878442705414505
Synopsis
He came out of meteorite crash. The world is unknown to him. But there he met her and he found someone he can grow attached. But no one knows his secret, not even her. Will he ever tell her? What will happen to them in the future?
Author Note
This is a project I'm trying out for the competition. If you enjoy it, drop a power stone and I'll keep writing
Added yours to my collection! Link to my new novel: https://www.webnovel.com/book/tales-of-the-princess-of-lunaris_18715155505705105
You can try mine too if you're interested, I will appreciate a review, thanks.
Here's the link
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/17790901205925305?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4313517477
In case someone's interested, try mine:
https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-matchmaker-who-can-see-the-red-string-of-fate_18190742906772405
Like the title said, this story revolves around the red string - cliche
RISE OF KING ARTHUR
Synopsis
In a fantasy world where there is magic, martial arts, various fairy and demon race, where magical beasts roam, Our MC Arthur is getting bullied for his meek personality. When he turned 19 he was assassinated even though he is a noble. But he travels back in time and gets a system called the Lust King System.
So he starts his life again but this time he will do things differently....
https://www.webnovel.com/book/rise-of-king-arthur_18601387905266505
At Last I Found You In My World
Synopsis
He came out of meteorite crash. The world is unknown to him. But there he met her and he found someone he can grow attached. But no one knows his secret, not even her. Will he ever tell her? What will happen to them in future?
https://m.webnovel.com/book/at-last-i-found-you-in-my-world_18878442705414505
hnn ok
kinda feel like your novel is too much tell at the beginning and could be written better.
Feel free to check out my novel The Black Dawn. Give me some input