Whannmarie Ask me again after a few more chapters. Two chapters isn't much to go on. From what I have read, the plot feels rushed and switching to different points of view is always painful. Also, change your name to anything else aside from the pre-generated name. Still, you have something good going so I will give you a better review once you get a few more chapters.

    LordSputnik ok thank you for taking a look. By the way I had other people read it and they all seemed to like the switching POV, so I just went with it

    ESF Sorry, I can't take more reviews right now. I'll contact you later when I have more spare time.

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