@silent_walker I've read the first chapter of your book, and unfortunately, it doesn't grab my attention and make me want to read more. I'll explain why:
1)
You said in your synopsis that that novel is 99% error-free. I presumed that this was just an exaggeration, but your second paragraph had quite a few mistakes.
"Two figures wandered on a dark mountain slope. With quiet and rhythmic pace."
The first sentence is fine, but the second one is incomplete. You also forgot to put a particle before quiet. I assume that this is supposed to be your writing style, but you can't get away with choppy incomplete sentences. It will run smoother if you wrote it as, "Two figures wandered on a dark mountain slope, moving at a quiet and rhythmic pace." This is just a personal suggestion, and you can write your novel however you want.
Next part:
"The one leading was a middle-aged man in a black cloak with a tall and burly figure, behind him was a scrawny man."
This sentence is a comma splice because "...behind him was a scrawny man." is its own separate sentence. An easy fix is just to separate both phrases into their sentences, or you can place "and" before "behind." Additionally, "a middle-aged man in a black cloak with a tall and burly figure" uses too many conjunctions and prepositions in a single clause. A good rule is to keep at most two conjunctions and/or prepositions in one clause and separate the other parts with commas.
Next part:
"It was unknown if the leading man was fair-skinned or not in this sight blinding darkness."
I believe you forgot to put a dash between sight and blinding.
Next part:
"But his blazing red hair was more than enough to recognise him."
Generally, you shouldn't start sentences with "but." Of course, there are exceptions, and "but" can be a stylistic choice. Still, doing that in the middle of this paragraph breaks the flow of the prose, making it harder to read. I suggest combining this sentence with the previous one. Next part:
"He appeared to be well versed in this slope unlike the other one— following him."
You forgot a dash before "well" and "versed," and the em dash after one is unnecessary. You can rewrite that portion of the sentence as "...unlike the other one who was following him." Another piece of advice is that you should keep pronouns, such as "he," to a minimum. Try coming up with different ways to describe characters, as it will add more variety to your sentence structure.
Now, all that stuff was just the second paragraph, and there are way more mistakes later on. A useful tip to improve prose is to read your sentence out loud to see if it flows smoothly. If you find yourself speaking choppily, or you find yourself repeating certain words multiple times, then consider revising the draft.
I'm not an editor, so I won't go through the rest of your novel to suggest fixes. I just felt the urge to break down your second paragraph because you claimed that your novel was 99% error-free.
That was a long write-up, so I'll put the second part of my critique on another post.
