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Shamira_Farhath Sure. There's one other book that I'm gonna review first.

@Shamira_Farhath I gave your novel a quick look for now, and in your synopsis, you forgot to put spaces after many of the periods and commas. Also, I suggest clarifying that Atlise is another planet in your synopsis, because I thought it was a person at first. It may be confusing.

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@Shamira_Farhath I've read the first chapter in your novel, and I'll be honest with you: I found it nearly unreadable.

First and foremost, the grammar is utterly atrocious. It looks like you may have typed it out on your phone. Please remember to proofread your work at least twice so that you can catch as many mistakes as possible. Within the paragraphs, there are dozens of places where you forgot to put spaces after punctuation, and there are numerous run-on sentences. I suggest getting a grammar editing program, such as Grammarly (if you're willing to pay for it), but I know that not everyone has it in their budget to invest in grammar software. In that case, you can try improving your grammar through sites such as NoRedInk and GrammarBytes. Remember that people will only read your novel if they can understand the sentences, and unfortunately, I could barely understand one bit of it.

Secondly, I want to mention that you directly started off with exposition. Other than the book's cover and synopsis, the first sentence makes one of the biggest impacts on whether or not a reader will keep reading. Sometimes, exposition can be interesting, but you don't want the first half of your first chapter to be exposition. Sometimes, moves may start off with an expositional sequence, but that is generally frowned upon unless you have to give complex information that is difficult to show in the story. For example, "Blade Runner: 2049" had to use text in the introduction to convey information that is absolutely necessary for understanding the plot. Keep in mind that people have low attention spans these days, so you have to capture the reader's attention like a magnet and don't let go. If you even have an opportunity to conceal your exposition through character interactions and action, do so.

To enumerate my previous point about the value of first sentences, take for example the first sentence of George Orwell's "1984."

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

This single sentence manages to enigmatically set a scene that will leave readers wanting to see more. Note how Orwell juxtaposes the adjectives "bright" and "cold," by not only placing them next to each other but also using those words to describe April, which is usually a month filled with warm days and rain since it's in the middle of spring. Additionally, the second part of the sentence describes how the clocks were striking thirteen, something completely different from our normal world. Thus, Orwell expertly sets up the dystopian world that he continues to describe in the rest of the chapter through the viewpoint of the main character, Winston Smith.

To sum up my advice: get good at grammar and make the first chapter grab the reader's attention strongly as possible.

Epyonnn
I think you shouldn't give examples of Gorge Orwell here. No offence, I like his writing style and I know Gorge Orwell was the founder of the Orwellian style like looking through a clear glass. But it's damn hard, I try to follow the similar way as well, but then went to more simpler and easy going... It's still a long way for that.

Moreover, I don't think anyone would understand those terms and expositions if their grammar is as terrible as you showed.

Epyonnn
By the way can you give a honest opinion of my book, if you have time. I only want to know how you felt after reading it, like is it immersive? are the characters sympathizeble? And most importantly descriptions, can you imagine the place I've written.
I only asked you cause you seemed to be a man of culture.
It's totally understandable if you don't have time... People have their one issues in life.
Thank you.

silent_walker Sure. I'll give your novel a look. As for the George Orwell example, I only gave it for the sake of my point about first impressions, because I feel that 1984 has one of the best first sentences in any novel I've read. That's why I made sure to keep my discussion confined in the beginning without going too in-depth about anything else.

By the way, @silent_walker , use "said" as a dialog tag more often. It's smoother to read than the ones you keep using. Those ones are called unusual dialog tags for a reason. It is recommended to keep them under 40% ratio usage.

Yoan_Roturier

Jo_J I just used 1984 as an example for starting one's novel. I didn't want to get too deep into the story for the reasons that you mentioned. I feel that anyone can learn from great authors, and 1984 was the first thing that came to mind when I was trying to think of an example of a good first impression.

Epyonnn
Big brother is watching you...

Yoan_Roturier
I think asked flow just well as said... Moreover I kinda feel unnatural using said with any questions...

silent_walker
Humm, think of it this way.

When your reader reads your dialogs, She/he's more interested in what's written in between your brackets than what's outside of it. So, by using one common tag "said" most of the times, it'll become (it already is) some kind of code (subconsciously).
Therefore, when they'll read your tags in between dialogs they'll just binge through it like it's nothing. HOWEVER, if you use other tags they'll have to take the time to ANALYSE the tag. That's the real reason behind using said most of the time. It's because it's simple, talks best to almost everyone, and flows really well in our trains of thought. In the end, it's just to enhance your readability.