OMG, THANK YOU @Sigheti! This thread is absolute GOLD. Well aside from the scattering of poop here too though~
I'll add to this. However, I'm not sure if I can be half as hella funny as some of these more concise story slams. XD
Spoilers ahead for anyone reading my two stories Canaan or Life as a Tree (which is probably no one here, lmao!)
Canaan:
Girl thinks her life is shit but pretends otherwise by daydreaming even while walking which somehow ends up transporting her into another world through what seems like a hit by truck-kun but no, she was just admiring the stupid rain and the reader is confused by this first person prologue, throw up. Everything is now in third person and the girl having unique, strong powers like some OP MC trope but is whoa! actually female instead of male! that's not vegan. doesn't even know how to use it properly to effectively kill off her foes which actually weren't after her but the suspicious fox that she decided befriending, the same fox which dropped off her enemies onto the MC to fight and possibly die instead, smart move MC! Oh and the fox is basically sucking energy off the girl without her knowing while basically doing shit to help the MC as she travels through the vast world so slowly and grueling for the reader that we've probably only covered the size of the District of Columbia in the U.S. (have no idea how bid DC is btw) The MC can only make stupid things with her magic like carving wooden utensils and grass weaved bags instead of fully studying magic in school which was FREE but she didn't take advantage of it by instead being distracted by how the design of the lines in the classroom are quite pretty, and now when she actually meets a foe that can legit kill her because the previous ones were weak, making her fall into a sense of complacency and irritating the readers that she's too OP, and all because she was too reckless despite being told that by smarter side characters, and now (spoilers of unwritten content) she ends up being knocked out along with most of her adventure crew except the fox that was smart and hid and oh one guy in her travel group that died whose sisters she had just met before they decided to travel together to find the mysterious murder, magic snatching organization that is actually not that scary because I suck at making them interesting enough for the reader, so now she feels guilty as fck because she was powerless to save anyone. And the one that actually got her out of that shit hole abandoned town that was totally NOT suspicious when you walked in, (why the hell would you walk into a suspicious looking place and not think its dangerous and get the fck on out) is some mysterious stalker dude that keeps saving her for questionable reasons thus further establishing that MC despite OP powers can't save herself or anyone even though she thinks she's a super ultra independent and strong female that doesn't have to rely on men, bah! But actually is contradictorily inwardly blushing and gushing over every handsome man and is a hopeless romantic that apathetically pretends she doesn't have heart or feelings, so no romance has even begun in all the 400 some pages written despite the story being tagged also as romance. Hmm, this is too long and only covered half of the first book. Let's make it short about the whole book series!
---> MC is transported to another world (not this isekai shit again) and is an OP female who just wants to fool around in this magical world because she was handicapped on Earth, while still believing she can protect people that doesn't actually care about because of her hidden apathy and then when does develop feelings and actually admits to them, has all her loved ones being killed off right in front of her. Then the rain goddess who was evicted from the magical world comes back and destroys the kingdoms and MC then learns by the end of the book series, that she's the human version of the exiled goddess because of some time paradox multidimensional maneuverings and schemes by the Creator who thought it would be fun to fck up his creations. So see, the "chosen one" trope has now been checked off, woohoo! Oh but now MC must die for the world after escaping death countless times by pushing her loved ones into the fire to die for her. Karma, much? And now the world and her one romantic interest that she was actually successful in pursuing no longer remembers her like some Madoka Magica floof, or do they? If you do, y'all are idiots for trusting in this MC to save the world because she still technically destroyed it with y'all living in the remains of the aftermath of parallel worlds colliding all to save the non-magical Earth of which she doesn't even care to return to so why the hell did she save it?! The End.
Life as a Tree
Bullied girl with scars from a fire that killed her parents now commits mass arson to her school and gets transmigrated inside a tree in a magical world. She eats other plants and enslaves the wildlife to do her bidding and fulfill her ultimate plan to conquer the whole world as the intelligent commander plant cell that controls the tree. The sentient system cell that gave her the idea of world domination as her destiny ends up being the ten-year old mind of the human teenager that stumbled into her in the forest at the beginning but who neither knew was the case because of a time paradox of the boy trying to go back in time to save the tree's leafy domain and heart from being destroyed in, oh, yet another fire after failing to conquer the world (no surprise), and what do you know? Due to his meddling on being transported to Earth, his cigarette stub ending up being how the fire at the MC's home started in the first place killing her parents, so he was the one who fcked up her life. When he transports back into his world, because yes, now he's replaced the MC at this point, he finds the girl's sapling in the ashes of the fire and becomes a gardener. The End.