Flabbergasted
Uh, I've looked through your story... I recommend you look up, and try to understand English punctuation rules. Your story has no real punctuation. Its all commas for some reason? With messed up quotations, commas outside of quotations... just really beginner mistakes. There's also a whole chapter that's written like a screen play, which needs to be rewritten in its entirety to tell a story. Screams lazy...

You've been writing this since August, and in 5 months never bothered to look any of this stuff up? Editing your own story is free... but you want someone to fix all of your basic errors for free? Good luck finding that unicorn honey.

      Lilliny

      You said all the necessary things XD

      Moreover, it's better to study the things and to edit it yourself, because no one can do it better than author, himself/herself. But of course study and necessary research is the key.

      Flabbergasted

            Seconding the above comment. Here are some steps you can take to edit your own work:
            1. Periods. End sentences with periods.
            2. Put dialogue in "quotation marks." You are often forgetting to close dialogue with the final quotation mark.
            3. "When dialogue ends with a period." You start the next sentence with a capital letter. And a space between the closing quotation mark and next sentence.
            4. Watch your tenses. "She entered her car and zoom off," is two different tenses. It would be "She entered her car and zoomed off."
            5. End questions with question marks.
            6. The first chapter is almost entirely people talking. Where are they? What do they look like? Do they make expressions? Do they move? Did anyone bring weapons? Were guns fired, or knives thrown? Tell me stuff.

            Once you go through these basic things, you can ask for an editor. But right now, I think there is too much work to be done.
            I suggest you go through your work and apply these self edits two or three times. You won't benefit from someone else editing right now.

              BeriAH These are some good tips. I’d say this sentence structure sounds better, however. “Entering her car, she zoomed off.” In the end, it’s all about one’s opinion!

              EDIT: Of course, tense has to always stay consistent though 🥰

                  Flabbergasted hello. actually, i'm also a student. so we have like around free two to four hours a day (not sure with yours). why don't you research for yourself and teach yourself the basics first? then see if you really need an editor or not. honestly speaking, editors are quite picky too.

                      If you need something on hand that's free enough. Install this tool to your browser. It'll capture your basic errors as you type> https://languagetoolplus.com/ I rehash, basic. You still need to know the English grammar standards to be able to recognize the corrections.

                      Editing is a lot of work and costs per word count.

                      You're best to learn the basics and keep developing your skills.
                      Here are some basic grammar cheat sheets to get you started.

                      Grammar

                      English Grammar Basics

                      Another basic tips page

                      Craft
                      Writing.com
                      https://storysci.com/2014/04/25/top-10-storytelling-basics/

                      Good luck.

                        Flabbergasted I believe those before me have already hit the nail in its head, so I decided to give an example of a good... ish editing.

                        Chapter 1: Ma'am

                        "Take them away," Lie Ruge ordered her henchmen. "This shall be their fate for refusing to disclose who wanted me dead."

                        "Yes, ma'am," the men in black all replied in unison.

                        "Miss, please, have mercy on us," begged the assassins. "We don't know who ordered the hit. They just gave us a target and the payment."

                        She laughed in contempt. "I'm sorry, but there's no mercy in my dictionary." Turning to her henchmen, she yelled, "what are you fools waiting for, do I need to repeat myself?"

                        "We're sorry, ma'am," they fearfully replied.

                        "They thought me an easy target for being a woman, and that was their mistake. To underestimate and stalk me as they did... I almost pity whoever hired them."

                        "Ma'am, should we take them to the dungeon?"

                        "To my dungeon? No, that place is too good for them. Just kill these fools and be done with it."

                        "Yes, ma'am, we shall do as ordered."

                        "Clean this mess and find out who tried to have me killed. I'm heading to the mansion." Lie Ruge then hopped in her sports car and sped away, leaving the assassins to their fate.

                            3 months later
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