Chantielu

Why do you name your chapters all Brianna? You might want to put that in the top of the chapter, and actually have a chapter name.

BlaccLotus

So while I enjoyed reading your book, because your writing is great, I don’t really really like smutty romance.

That aside. If you ever want to write a fantasy romance, or some type of unique concept romance, I’ll be glad to read.

Added to collection.

Hi. Hope you could try mine. Its a romance, but i did try to put some twist on it. This is my first try, so I'm looking for ways to improve. Thanks.
http://wbnv.in/a/bcFZJ1A

    I have many novels don’t know which to tell but you can read my FL novel ‘My Lost Soul : A Journey To Become The Strongest Beast Tamer’

      AuHNG Okay, thanks. I'll try to improve. 😊 But, I really wasn't trying to go for that kind of feel. I especially avoided filter words for that main purpose.

      I don't want it to seem like I'm telling a story, but showing the reader my story. If you get what I'm trying to say. But, I seemed to have missed something. I'll have to go back and see.

      Thanks for the incite. It means a lot.

        You can read and add any or all if you like.
        I am adding yours.
        My roommate is a devil
        https://m.webnovel.com/book/my-roommate-is-a-devil_18707601006836005
        Entwined souls
        https://m.webnovel.com/book/entwined-souls_18615498805321605
        My fairytale
        https://m.webnovel.com/book/my-fairytale_18800096006221205
        Where the dream losts
        https://m.webnovel.com/book/where-the-dream-losts_18262567805953605

          Chantielu

          Yeah, avoid filler, but I'm just saying, there's some dynamicity missing. Obv, rick riordan has his style and you have yours

            Ysabel_xox

            Didn't like your novel. I think you need to work on your writing skills.
            Grammar and punctuation, but even more than that, the characters aren't extremely interesting.
            Then again, it perfectly captures how middle schoolers act, the way you write the characters out feels like middle schoolers/freshmen in high school, so if you want to age the characters down a bit, the story would make more sense.

              Ysabel_xox

              I can't say I have more advice for you, other than keep on writing.

              I don't really have time to give specific critique

                AuHNG Oof I really need to improve my grammar lol. English is not my main language so it's a little hard for me. Thanks for giving my story a chance. We have different tastes or opinions so I understand. Thanks for the honest opinion!

                  bishop1275

                  I don't really like romance. Romance is extremely boring to me, unless it's fluff or just this respectful romance that builds after years of connection.

                  If it's a fl novel, I find that the guy is usually rich, usually "mysterious", "possessive", "player", and also extremely boring to me.

                  I read way too many romances when I was younger for it to be interesting for me, and most romance novels are girl--> guy and not guy--> girl. Though, I've also read a lot of harems, and disliked those, too.

                  Ysabel_xox

                  I'm just telling you that most high schoolers/college students curse. Some don't, but nobody really makes a huge deal.

                  The mc is way too innocent, but considering he's a "young master" type, eh.

                  I read up to chapter 20.

                  So, that's why I'm saying that it's unrealistic. In fact you could make the characters down a couple years, because highschoolers, even the freshmen go to parties and some of them drink. (Technically illegal)

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