Webnovel.Forum

I'm bored, and I want things to read, so list your novels below.
Please don't link a locked novel, I have no money to pay for that stuff...

Simply add my book to your collection, and I'll add yours to mine.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/what-a-dream-wants_11248480805311205
(Please don't review my book, unless you really want to... my book is on hiatus right now, so the upload schedule is wack)

I might also give reviews if I really like your novel, but please don't expect a detailed review. I will probably write; "Wow, so good, [insert copy and past bee movie dialogue]" This is a big might*.

I rarely find novels I enjoy and I'm too lazy to go through the long lists of promoted novels, sorry, lol.

Chantielu

I read your parts of your novel.

Right now, I won't say the concept isn't interesting, but the writing isn't as developed as it could be. There's no mistakes, but for example, when I read Percy Jackson, which follows a very similar style to your novel and many other light novels that are in first person, I had a better time reading it.

Excerpt:
"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.
If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now.
Believe what-ever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.
Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.
If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being
able to believe that none of this ever happened.
But if you recognize yourself in these pages—if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading
immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a mat-ter of time beforethey
sense it too, and they'll come for you.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
My name is Percy Jackson.
I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private
school for troubled kids in upstate New York.
Am I a troubled kid?
Yeah. You could say that.
I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last
May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan— twenty-eight mental-case kids and two
teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek
Generated b y ABC Amb er LIT Converter, http://w ww.p rocesstext.com/abclit.html
and Roman stuff.
I know—it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.
But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.
Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy
beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but
he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman
armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.
I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.
Boy, was I wrong."

Look how the personality bleeds through. The alternation of one line sentences that show thought, and the longer paragraphs that add description. The opening adds suspense, and the end is foreshadowing.

Your story starts off the same way, but kind of lacks that punch.

Maybe if you're interested....
https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.webnovel.com/amp/book/18332439105256605

AuHNG Okay, thanks. I'll try to improve. But, I really wasn't trying to go for that kind of feel. I especially avoided filter words for that main purpose.

I don't want it to seem like I'm telling a story, but showing the reader my story. If you get what I'm trying to say. But, I seemed to have missed something. I'll have to go back and see.

Thanks for the incite. It means a lot.

Heya! I added your book and will read it soon.

Here's my link.

https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/12663887405456405?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4303628000

Ysabel_xox

I'm just telling you that most high schoolers/college students curse. Some don't, but nobody really makes a huge deal.

The mc is way too innocent, but considering he's a "young master" type, eh.

I read up to chapter 20.

So, that's why I'm saying that it's unrealistic. In fact you could make the characters down a couple years, because highschoolers, even the freshmen go to parties and some of them drink. (Technically illegal)

lilGoat

Also your writing is pretty good, tone down the complexity in certain parts.

Writing with too many hard hitting words will make the reader not understand, and writing too long will drown out certain words like white noise.

What I'm saying is you need some simpler sentences. AND SIMPLER PARAGRAPHS. Reading your paragraphs can be extremely ailing and mind-slogging since all of them are going into what I call "essay length".

That aside though, I really enjoy your writing. It's extremely visual.

lilGoat

Your writing is quite impressive. The details, descriptions, diction and sentence structure in the novel are amazing. We have polar opposite writing styles: yours is much more solemn and description heavy, while mine tends to be a lot more dialogue focused and satirical.

AuHNG Hey, I already add your book to my library. https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/18425139706769805?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4314144361

Chantielu

not bad writing, I'm not sure where the story is going, so far tho.

Chapter 9