@SEP1A I've read up to chapter 9. Here are my thoughts:
1. Footnotes
Don't completely rely on footnotes to give exposition. Always assume that readers skip over it.
For something as important as Veren, you should give some information about why Noe named it that and what it is within the chapter itself. If you leave the definition at the bottom, the reader will be confused until they reach the end of the chapter.
Same thing with Gremlin, but you really only need a small sentence to describe that.
For stuff like autism and nehruma, it's fine because most people already know what autism is, and not knowing the meaning of nehruma doesn't really affect the story.
2. Roundabout Wording
For the most part, your prose is quite good, but there are some points where you tend to describe things in too much of a roundabout way.
For example, in chapter five, when you described the showers, I initially thought Noe and Eris were in a cave, and there was a waterfall. Try to be a little more literal, so the setting won't be too confusing to visualize.
3. Scene Breaks
There are a few places where the scene completely changes, having a different time and location.
Most notably, in the second chapter, "Warmth," you wrote, "'We'll be fine on our own,' she clutches Noe's burning hand."
After that, the scene shifts into Allery bullying Noe. Keep in mind that if you put extra spaces between paragraphs, webnovel will automatically delete those in the published chapter. Try using asterisks or dashes to indicate scene breaks and avoid confusion.
4. Abdormal
At first, I thought it a misspelling, but then I read the paragraph comments.
Make sure that you actually say in the story that there's a reason why Allery says that. For example, one of his buddies could point out the error, but Allery snaps at the other guy, saying that "abdormal" is the correct spelling or something like that.
You can't just write a spelling error and expect readers to infer that it reflects the speaker's character.
5. Blank Faces
I'm having a hard time differentiating Lancaster and Terry in my head. I can visualize Bodhi, Eris, and the other characters because they have defining features, but Lancaster and Terry blend into the same person in my mind.
Try to give them some defining characteristics that you mention every now and then, just like Bodhi's glasses.
6. Synopsis
It needs some work. Try to explain some of the magical aspects of your story and the main conflict.
Refer to https://blog.reedsy.com/write-blurb-novel/
7. Initial Tone
The prelude sets the tone for a post-apocalyptic sci-fi story with a hint of thriller and military. But then, the story shifts into a fantasy school with magic, ghosts, and monsters.
An easy fix would be to mention the fantastical elements in your prelude, or you could cut it altogether since it wouldn't affect the story that much if you sprinkle in some exposition about the world.
That's about it. Hope I could help.
