Title : Ghost Busters

Genre : Urban, Horror

Synopsis : A guy going by the name of Felix joins the team known as 'Ghost Busters' because of an invitation. A team consisting of 6 members.

Nobody knew his past, nor his personal info. Even his name Felix was an alias created by himself. What was about to come? Was the decision to invite him was correct or everything will crumble?

Felix embarks on his journey along with his new team to unveil the secrets and mysteries of the world, including his own past too.

However, there was another secret to it. Something related to him. Something which defied the laws.

Join Felix on his journey to explore the eerie, unreal, and perilous side of the world as he uncovers the mysteries one by one.

Link : https://m.webnovel.com/book/ghost-busters_20322367305200405

Epyonnn okay thanks alot bro.

@Praefactuss I've only read two chapters so far, and the novel is pretty unimpressive. Let me explain:

1. Formatting

Split up your paragraphs. Remember that you should start a new one every time there's a new plot beat or if the subject changes.

The grammar and stuff are good for the most part, but proofread some more so that you can catch the tiny little errors. I tell this to everyone, and it feels like I'm beating a dead horse at this point.

2. Mid

I'll be real with you: the story is really average. It's your basic isekai/transmigration with nothing special.

What differentiates your work from others? What is it that will capture readers' attention?

So far, there's just nothing interesting about your story. I'll elaborate more on how to fix that.

(Side note: You forget to mention the MC's age in the first chapter, so I was confused when he revealed that he had become a fourteen-year-old. I assumed he was older and got younger, but according to the story, he was younger and got older)

3. What Makes a Scene

The core of a scene is that a problem must be solved. For example, at the beginning of "Re: Zero," the problem is that the main character, Subaru, is trying to help Emilia find a missing item while also trying to avoid dying over and over again.

In your novel, there's no problem that the main character is trying to solve. Sure, he gets transmigrated, but what's the problem? He just has to learn how to adjust, but there's really no tension anywhere that would make me want to continue reading.

Granted, I didn't read any further, so I assume the plot eventually starts rolling, but you need to establish at least some tension.

You see, it's not enough for the character to be confused about his own situation. Yes, that's a problem, but it's not big enough. You need to shock the reader (not to be confused with abusing shock value) to get their attention.

That's about it. Hope I could help.

@Yulainei I'll work on reviewing yours now

Shubhangi_Kene sure sorry for the late reply I will start right away.

Epyonnn hahaha,,,, Thank you bro Epyonnn

Epyonnn hahaha,,,, Thank you bro Epyonnn

Lamelle I also added yours in library, I'll be leaving a review after I read it

honest review please? I've read Yoan's Woodcutter novel and reviewed a while back lol~ (it's still in my library)
But if anyone is up for an honest review on my BL novel, please let me know. I shall do the same for you.
I've just stared so it's still in the early stage ^_~
- Title: QT: Lazy Prince Becomes Protagonist with a System
- Genre: LGBTQ+, fantasy, comedy, romance
- Synopsis:
Shun had been a lazy prince most of his life. The fifth of 7 siblings, he was free to do as he pleased. Until he died and was swept away to wake up in a new world.
What is this stupid system thing and why is it telling him to do the mission or people die?!
What the hell?! He was no knight!
It had to be a witch’s doing to make him work!

//////****\\\

Vol. 1- Idol Popstar
Shun had to hit the 100% Star Meter to return back to his kingdom. However, being an idol was hard work, but thanks to that witch of a system, he was forced to finish.
No way was he going to let people die!
So working hard and making friends, Shun found himself infatuated with Suu Jin, an idol prince that stole his heart and his first kiss.
Would Shun be distracted by the beauty of Suu Jin to complete his tasks? Would he want to leave this world to return to his old one?

For Suu Jin, he had done everything the world asked of him. He was a puppet dangled in front of the audience, but what they did not know was his past covered by NDAs. Would his flaws be spread out for everyone to see? Would Shun accept him? Would they ever get together?

*Rated 18+ for later volumes/chapters
- Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/qt-lazy-prince-becomes-protagonist-with-a-system_20496998405848805
- Cover picture:

Who wants an honest review swap
Title: The do-over
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Synopsis:
Sometimes you just have to do things for just you regardless of what other people think because you just might not get the chance to have a do-over.
Andrew is a guy who had to be a doctor in order not to let his mother down. But deep down he wanted to be something else but he didn't have the courage to tell his mother no. Later he finds out his life isn't the fairytale he thought it was.

https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-do-over_20234475205317705###

Epyonnn Thank you! I did try to express in the latter chapters that the problem at first was the protag's character but I guess I need to make it more apparent. My inital plan was to start dealing with the protagonist's personality since most novels I read about shut-ins just basically transform the whole character after they transmigrated.

I appreciate the input and will work on it, you're doing good work here! Again, thanks a lot!

@Yulainei I've only read the first chapter so far, and I have quite a few things to say about it. I'll probably do another review for the later chapters if there are any glaring issues.

1. Prose

Good word choices and stuff, but you tend to repeat certain words multiple times within close proximity of each other, making the sentences choppy. In the first paragraph, you used "rain" three times (I'm counting the instance of rain in the word rainfall). In the second paragraph, you used "up" twice. These are a nitpicky thing, but your sentences will flow much better if you use more word variation. This is why English has a million synonyms for almost every word.

Another thing is that there are some incomplete sentences and some that are weirdly worded, making them hard to follow.

2. Omniscient POV

Be careful when writing in the third-person omniscient POV because things might get confusing if you switch to another character's POV. In the chapter, you switched from Nicolaus to the driver, but make sure that you clarify who is who. Give Nicolaus a distinctive feature instead of just calling him "that guy" or "that man." When the POV shifted, I wasn't sure who the speaker was, and who the speaker was referring to until I read a couple more paragraphs.

Also, make sure that you don't reveal too many of the thoughts in other characters' heads, especially if they're not one of the main characters.

Finally, you mainly write in the past tense, but sometimes, it changes to the present tense. Just stick to the past tense.

Tragic Backstory

Yes, Nicolaus may have a tragic backstory, but it doesn't feel impactful if it's narrated. Instead, it might be better to cut the narration altogether and just leave the MC with the feeling of rage and keeping it a mystery as to why he was angry.

Then, in the next chapter, maybe you could have the MC floating through time, watching the events of his past life unfold before him. With that, it would really cement the reason why the MC will no longer tolerate people who mess with him.

This is only one suggestion, and there are many ways to handle it. You can even sprinkle in his backstory while he in his new body.

That's about it so far. I'll probably keep reading to see where it goes.

Epyonnn thank you so much bro... Indeed, but the driver is a main plot in the story. xD

Might as well try here too.
Title : System of the Ugly.
Genre : Comedy, action, system, fantasy, adventure, semi-reincarnation, fantasy modern settings.
Synopsis : It's the most fuckening thing ever; the end.
Link : https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/19765721806323005?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4316491337

Cover : I can't upload it.... Why!!!?????

Yoan_Roturier Still want to keep the thread active or do you want me to lock it? If its still proper we can let it go, or make a fresh one.

Yoan_Roturier I'll change the title and we can keep it here. just ping me when u want to make a new one later.

Title : Ghost Busters

Genre : Urban(Male-leading)

Synopsis : A guy going by the name of Felix joins the team known as 'Ghost Busters' because of an invitation. A team consisting of 6 members.

Nobody knew his past, nor his personal info. Even his name Felix was an alias created by himself. What was about to come? Was the decision to invite him was correct or everything will crumble?

Felix embarks on his journey along with his new team to unveil the secrets and mysteries of the world, including his own past too.

However, there was another secret to it. Something related to him. Something which defied the laws.

Join Felix on his journey to explore the eerie, unreal, and perilous side of the world as he uncovers the mysteries one by one.

Link : https://m.webnovel.com/book/ghost-busters_20322367305200405

Epyonnn Would you please give my story an honest review as well?
Title: Abused Yet Indestructible Princess
Genre: Fantasy (Female lead)
Link: https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/19843668706580305?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4313436314

@Mayemura I've still been reading through Yulanei's book, so I'll get to yours eventually. I looked through your first chapter, and there are quite a lot of grammar mistakes and some spelling errors. Try to start by correcting those.

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Epyonnn Thank you

Epyonnn Thank you

@Yulainei I read through some more chapters, and your book is going in a good direction. There isn't really anything wrong that I needed to point out. Just make sure you correct the spelling errors and try to avoid massive encyclopedia entries when giving exposition.

Epyonnn ty you so much bro... Epyonnn you rock!

@sammielane448
I'll post my honest thoughts here because I don't wanna have people in review swap asking for the same treatment. As for why I'm doing this for you, it's because you took the time to point out some interesting stuff.

Novel: Ember's Crown
Author: Clone_v2

First of all, I think the idea is interesting, but the way you write is a bit complex for a platform such as WN. Note that I personally don't have an issue with it. It's just that people from non-English speaking countries read on this platform and they form the bulk of WN readers. Their English isn't at a native level. That's why the most popular novels on this platform mostly have simple wordings and phrasings and blablabla.

So here are some suggestions to make your story more appealing to the guys here (basically a summary of what I left in your paragraph comments):

• Dialogs are hard to read sometimes. Not the content but the visibility/readability. You use ' to open your dialogs instead of ". I don't know if it grammatically correct, but I suppose it is. However, it is a common practice on this platform to use those brackets ". The reason is quite simple, it's because they are more visible. I sometimes surprised myself mixing your dialogs with your narration. Either because you forgot to close your brackets or because the paragraph was quite packed. Which brings me to the second point.

• Be careful of huge ass paragraphs. As I implied in my paragraph comments, it can be hard to read those kind of paragraphs on a smart phone. And I'm pretty sure that a lot of people on WN uses the app to read. So you might lose some readers this way.

• Your beginning was a bit jarring despite the interesting and rich setting. This problem might stem from the introduction of several characters in your first chapter that seem essential to the story. The issue with it, is that readers don't even know about your world and MC yet that they already have to learn about new chars. I think this should be more progressive. Note that I was also worried of that issue in my first chapter of "Ragnarök: Fimbulwinter Saga." However, it doesn't mean that you can't introduce multiple chars in your first chap. It's just that, I think, you shouldn't shift the focus so much. Towards the middle and the end of the chap, we shifted from one char to another. It was jarring because I wasn't familiar with those.

• Something else I noticed is the change of POV. From 1st to 3rd. Do be careful with that.

In conclusion, there is no problem with the story itself. Just the execution of the flow was sometimes jarring.

Hope it helps you improve your story.

I'll read you later mate.

Title : Cycle Of Nirvana
Genre : Comedy, action, fantasy, adventure, male-lead, mystery
Synopsis : A novel that moves from the weak to the strong in the world of cultivation. A novel that will immerse you in the depths for mystery, action and more
Link : https://m.webnovel.com/book/cycle-of-nirvana_20633838405203605

Yoan_Roturier Hey man, thank you so much for your review. It's helped me go through some of the major issues and edit for better effect and consistency and improve my writing generally.

One thing that you said, however, I'm still fighting. XD In the UK, single inverted commas are the traditional means of indicating speech in a novel, I've seen that trend diminish a lot over the years, mainly due to our cousins over the Atlantic's global influence, even still, I'm hesitant to let go of this one tradition. XD

sammielane448
You're welcome.
I more or less guessed that it was the case with the single inverted commas (didn't it was called that lol). If you really insist on keeping those, then try to find a way to prevent readers from mixing your narration and the actual dialogs. I think a good start would be to break down huge ass paragraphs. It'll help I think.