@Demons_and_I Hey! You asked for an honest review, so please allow me to do it here if you don’t mind. I might sound like a broken record, but if you’re writing as a hobby, please ignore the rest of this article…
-Your imagination is wonderful, you clearly know what you’re talking about, but knowing something and explaining it to readers is very different. If you can – and you should– try to compress your entire first chapter into two paragraphs before the conversation part begins. Why? Too much information is confusing! WN readers are in no rush! They’re here to stay for 1000 chapters! Give the readers bits and pieces of information as they go! Use your characters to do it instead of you as the narrator.
-Remove yourself from the inside of your book. Why did you dedicate an entire chapter to your note? It’s not in the right place at all, at least not for this platform. Or at least not in my humble opinion.
-Keep your reviews of your own novel restricted to one comment only. Don’t worry about deleting them and redoing them until you’re satisfied.
-Your editing efforts are great! Are you using Grammarly? If not? Use it!
One more time, you have something special, as you gather up experience, you can make it big if you put your mind to it. And all the best to you <3

    MerrySweet I love this. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Now, replying to the thing about the first chapter, that entire first chapter is a prologue, that details the life of a character different, but the same as the main character. the story isn't about him. That isn't where the story starts. If you can stick around, you will see how the story progresses. Just treat it not as an info dump, but as a short story, sort of like the story they tell before you begin playing the God of War video games. It's to tell of the foreshadowing events that cause, directly, or indirectly, the beginning of all the exciting events in the book. Once again, thank you very much 🥰❤️.

      MerrySweet I'll just say this. I love your writing style, and I say this with all my heart. I'm not a fan of female lead books because, like you said, they are cringe as fuck. However, your book made me keep reading until about chapter 4 or 5. It was really that good. The only reason I stopped, was because of the scene where she met her childhood friend in a bar. I didn't enjoy that at all. I think that scene ruined the book for me, but it's not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just my preference when it comes to the content of a book. I hate it that guy George. He's a simp... 😤. I also hate when the female lead has already been ran through before she gets married. Like I said, fans of this genre will definitely might like it, but it's just not for me. Other than that, the book is so we'll written, and has little to no flaws grammatically. Keep up the good work. Also thanks for dropping the link. I really appreciate it 😚

          MerrySweet Also, I'm not writing just as a hobby. I plan on getting contracted. Do you think the book isn't good enough? 🥲

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