LuciferVermillion
From chapter three? I'll give your work a proper go so from point-blank and give it a frank go at once.

Thanks for your time, thanks for your point of view, I had yet to see this kind of defect to a story, indeed a classical can be quite boring.

For the pictures, I find it precise as a color guide more than an imagination shackle. The mood of each chapter can be felt through the few images I've chosen (warmth, coldness, fantasy, richness of the experience (mc going out of his routine)

Have a great day, see you in your work.

      If anyone is interested in review and collection swap then here's my book. Will review yours after you are done reviewing mine.
      Link: https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/25800187705948605?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4317414678

      For WSA 2023~
      Warning: mature content is present, read at your own risk.

      -

      Despite her trying to sound cool, he could hear her slight pants.

      "What were you doing?" He asked, forgetting everything.

      That's how it was for them. They could be in the middle of the most serious issue yet the slightest change in their breathing would make the other curious.

      "If I say that I was, or more like, am fingering myself while thinking about you, would you come here and f*ck me?" She said while putting two fingers inside of herself.

      A moan left her lips and his d*ck hardens on the other side.

      "F*ck, Andrew, ah," she was moaning on purpose, to get a reaction out of him.

      She wanted to test him till he breaks and later fulfilled her with his entire being.

      She knew that she wasn't supposed to want him and so did he but the heart wants what the heart wants.

      And forbidden fruits always taste better.

      -

      Tangled by an interesting past, lust, and underworld matters. And most importantly heart.

      Both of them refused to fall for the other again but for how long? In this twisted game called lust, would they end up falling for each other?

        If anyone is interested in review and collection swap then here's my book. Will review yours after you are done reviewing mine.
        Link: https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/25800187705948605?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4317414678

        For WSA 2023~
        Warning: mature content is present, read at your own risk.

        -

        Despite her trying to sound cool, he could hear her slight pants.

        "What were you doing?" He asked, forgetting everything.

        That's how it was for them. They could be in the middle of the most serious issue yet the slightest change in their breathing would make the other curious.

        "If I say that I was, or more like, am fingering myself while thinking about you, would you come here and f*ck me?" She said while putting two fingers inside of herself.

        A moan left her lips and his d*ck hardens on the other side.

        "F*ck, Andrew, ah," she was moaning on purpose, to get a reaction out of him.

        She wanted to test him till he breaks and later fulfilled her with his entire being.

        She knew that she wasn't supposed to want him and so did he but the heart wants what the heart wants.

        And forbidden fruits always taste better.

        -

        Tangled by an interesting past, lust, and underworld matters. And most importantly heart.

        Both of them refused to fall for the other again but for how long? In this twisted game called lust, would they end up falling for each other?

          LuciferVermillion LuciferVermillion
          To be fair, I wasn't expecting a pink cat-girl to be part of the main intrigue

          I'll go beyond anything the current comments consider cringe, I love this kind of sauce, to be fair I'm missing the nostalgia and it's much welcomed. There are a lot of people complaining about thing's they've once loved in their teens.
          I happened to find some random capital letters amidst sentences, also I've noticed you're not always using the same kind of apostrophe sometimes which enhance a kind of irregularity of your writing style ''' ```` ’’’. I know, the difference is slim but noticeable still.

          You've added parenthesis in the mc's speech in the first chapter to explain the reader who was Pearl, I don't think it's a smart way to introduce a character.

          You've picked up a nice atmosphere and a fine world-building. I like the way you can describe living things moving around, it gets me into the story easily.

          Chapter three is THICC

          There is a very lot of mechanisms explained for the first ten chapters, quite the toll to learn for a new reader
          I liked the humour but the sexy-ish bits feel a little forced. Magic - ranks - the many animals Lucifer has, next to it the instructions he had for his meeting at the academy feels a little dull.
          Thankfully there aren't plenty of new characters to introduce at once.

          Finally, I don't like capitals letters for loud noises or shouts. You've performed well for moans, whispers and so on by depicting the character and its actions instead of (idk by what magic) shrinking the letters
          The same should go for shouted text, describe it more to give it life and sense instead of a literal bug on the screen.

          That's it for now, I'm enjoying the reading so far, there isn't much I can add besides a few comments for ow, I'll be continuing it some more later, you got me curious.

                Title: There's Something Wrong With You, My Lord! ⚠️ Boys Love or Yaoi content ⚠️

                Synopsis:

                Battered, injured, jaded and marvellously wreaked. Luis Lee was one of the powerful ability user during the time of apocalypse but that was until he found himself reincarnated in a magical world full of hunks and gorgeously powerful moon elves.  At that moment he thought, "Let's live a slow slutty life, (b)itches!"

                These long eared hotties needed him for something and the new elven lord was determined to do nothing.

                However, an obnoxious system was added into the mix saying that he is reincarnated in a world of a book.

                System administrator: This world will usher an Apocalypse after a decade. So enjoy your stay (b)itch.

                Few days old moon elf lord: Will I ever get a proper rest?

                A story of a perverted soul who just wanted to get laid starts now.

                updates 1 chapters a day~

                add five collection = 1 extra chapter

                add 10 power stones per day = 2 extra chapters

                This is my first ever novel. 🙂

                photo used as cover is not mine.

                https://m.webnovel.com/book/there's-something-wrong-with-you-my-lord_26060995805883205

                  Antonigiggs http://wbnv.in/a/82hYc1h :👍
                  I'll review,I mean let's swap.I'll get right on it,you do the same when you see this, that's my link up,just in case that doesn't work;the name is HELL VERSE by authorsdarkfantasy

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