Cobyboy Oh yes, was waiting to review this lovely diamond. Let me first give you a pat on the back for learning from your mistakes during the first 10 chapters. The idea alone is worth mentioning over and over again due to a war-veteran being transmigrated into a different world after death. We got to see what happened after his death within his previous world and saw how he adapted to another world from going through challenges such as how will he replace the ammo, who is his friend and his enemy. That made me adapt the mentality from chapter 2 of not trusting anyone during the journey of the mighty General Gama!
The mistakes have been mostly fixed from chapter 1 such as Subjective Pronouns and Possessive pronouns. We can conclude that you have adapted the word writing style of our favorite translator StarveCleric, this is why I won't point out the minor mistakes. The major mistakes, on the other hand, is the world building, you are rushing through from being a supreme general to a king, if there is a role you need to stick to it for a time-length and not time-skip it as it will leave a bad taste in us, readers, because we wanted to know how the situation will be handled even if it was a few chapters.
World Building
- The events happening in the world itself
- Aftereffects of the male protagonist
- Culture
- religion
- Political World View
- History
- Sense (What it feels to be within the male protagonist place, being wet from rain and so on)
- Changes that occur from guns
You have met some of the requirements but at the same time you complicated the entire story, after chapter 100 what would the people think when reading? when will it end? That is the conclusion I can give you on this diamond, hopefully, more things will be introduced within the next few tens or hundreds of chapters! :)
