DKQ

DKQ could u give me ur review?

Herr is my novel link
https://m.webnovel.com/book/10375200206022405

Btw, there may be some errors that are visible in the prologue, chapter 1,2 and 3. Because I'm trying to edit it myself. But it's been quite better in chapter 4 and so on .(someone helping me) But I do not know.
I really appreciate it if you want to give your opinion.

Thank you

  • DKQ replied to this.

    Okay guys. Just a fair warning. What you guys are doing here is great, especially DKQ.

    But with the current issues with inkstone/webnovel that is still being resolved. Just don't update your published chapters for changes for the meantime and just save them locally for now.

    If you end up doing it in this chaos, you are likely to lose that chapter on Webnovel Table of Contents. So just be careful.

    DKQ, love the work you are doing to help us original authors. =)

      DKQ I'll make sure to fix my transitional phrases on the next chapters for sure! Thank you so much for the feedback!

        DKQ Hahahaha it's an into another world novel xD guess you didn't read the sypnosis or if you did you didn't get my references xD
        And I'm not gonna say anything about his mother

        • DKQ replied to this.

          Newbelist I feel so embarrassed, the amount of grammar mistakes in my review was pure bad! I would like to apologize on that as I was going through some over-time with my review time and as you can see the results, its bad! bows down

            17Sphynx17 Thanks for the warning Sphynx, webnovel seems to be working on it this time and hopefully it will get fixed soon

            Pegazz Hopefully it gets fixed soon! :)

              AidaHanabi The idea is great, the way you wrote during the first 2 chapters are amazing but why am I seeing simple mistakes? We are talking about grammar, a mixture of UK and US English and several small mistakes with the adjectives used. Most the things have been mentioned above except one small thing which I would like to mention here, the usage of caps such as the prologue usage of (ex. "YUKIII") this needs to be removed because it affects your novel quality.

              For the adjectives, I would recommend to Try to find words or specific adjectives that capture what exactly you are trying to say instead of using two-word phrases with modifiers like "very" to hold up weak adjectives. (EX: very hard)

              I can see some improvements from chapter 1-10 and some changes to your writing which means you have improved either from help or by self-reflection on mistakes (Both are good). Hopefully, you can improve the main things I have pointed out, I am not a professional but a reader and this small things are easy to spot when you are reading carefully. Good Luck and keep up the good work.

                tooTired I got your back! Let us go through the basic mistakes which I noticed in the first chapter and second, we have overused words mate, that is very bad because unless its a characteristic of the character in the story then change it (Usage of Grammarly or other similar sites to help you out with it can be good). The best way to improve your novel (based on chapter 1 and 2)

                Improvement:

                • Word Choice (Can be better)
                • Transitional phrase Improvements (Read 1 of the comments above)
                • Sentences (Very Short compared to other novels)

                We also have an issue with Passive vs Active voices, the best way to improve that would be from this reference : https://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_activevoice.html

                Simple yet easy to not find issues, I would recommend reading your novel out-loud if you have issues with writing as it can help you improve your work by leaps! Keep up the good work and good luck!

                  Would be going to try another style to reduce the number of novels I will have to review, already taking most the time of my day so I will link to this site which has been linked to me by a great person on this site, it will help with your novel and will make you improve a lot!

                  http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/your-novel-blueprint

                  Before asking me to review any novel please make sure to read what I typed above, based on that I should have answered many common mistakes, I am but a reader and I also can't read everything at once, if anyone can help me out with this please reply to DKQ#7294 on discord and hopefully once we reach 100 posts we will create a discord server to answer several small issues while reviews will be posted here. Thank you, everyone, for your support!

                    MrDojo Well your novel is a first :) I have noticed how you have a balance between simple and complex sentences, the story itself is amazing from the start. Only issues I have noticed which needs improvements are:

                    Issues

                    • Sentences beginning (Always remember, a sentence variety will make your novel special)
                    • Vocabulary (Helps with conveying what you want to say)
                    • Outline your entire story (I have noticed how some mistakes happened from time to time due to you taking breaks while writing, this issue is called writer's block)

                    Some references to help you out:
                    https://goinswriter.com/how-to-overcome-writers-block/
                    https://www.time4writing.com/articles-about-writing/vocabulary/
                    http://www2.eit.ac.nz/library/OnlineGuides/Sentence%20Starters.pdf

                      DKQ heheh thank u!
                      LoL Actually I have the intention to change some mistakes in early parts. but sometimes I didn't have time or just forgot. LoL. But I'll try to find some free time to fix it. At least after the Inkstone bug problem was finished and fix.

                      And about uk and US really sometimes I didn't notice that cuz in Indonesia, some of indonesian will mix it together without our knowned. May be it become habit . 😂😂😂

                        alostgirl I finished reading 5 chapters, not my taste as I rarely read romance type of novels but I can easily identify this is a copy of vampire diaries, I wouldn't say it is a bad thing but its just very similar. The first thing I have talked about in my thread is copying someone else work, it is fine if you want to make it into something similar but copying is very bad without permission. Let us go through the common mistakes first and identify the mistakes:

                        mistakes

                        • Grammar (minor mistakes)
                        • Phrasing (an issue which can be resolved by referring your work to other novels)
                        • Sentences (No balance, need to refer to a comment above I made about sentences)

                        Some mistakes as I have talked about can be read out loud and this will help you improve by leaps. I hope you the best and good luck with your work!

                          DKQ I think u mistook my work, but only two character names are from the series, but rather than that, nothing really matches. I choose the characters name from that series, bcoz I like them.
                          Thanku for the advice, I will make sure to improve in the future.

                          • DKQ replied to this.

                            Hey, this is really a good topic! Definitively useful for writers. You have my respect @DKQ !

                              alostgirl I have reviewed it based on me being a reader, If I was the author I will have the mindset of writing my uni essay (bad headache time) that is why I am a bit strict while reviewing other novels, I rate your novel based on 3 things.

                              Rating review

                              • General view (Reference based on, a country created in and topics used)
                              • Language usage (US English or UK English)
                              • Age Limit (Is it safe for all or not)

                              This is my main focus during reviewing novels after doing it for a few days, if it was in uni I would most likely focus on the major, language and ignore the age limit. I hate including gender while reviewing as this will lead me to be biased towards one gender so I will only go through the text for most the novels and forget about the gender. So when I reviewed your novel here is

                              What I don't want to see

                              • Mistakes that will destroy your gem
                              • Basic errors
                              • Phrasing

                              This is not only to help you but help myself in the future if I want to start writing as it will teach me and you. The biggest problem while being an author is not looking at our novels from a reader point of view which will not only affect us but others who read it leads to bad reviews and bad comments destroying the novel. I apologize if I have made any mistakes and will reflect on it, keep up the good work!

                                DKQ I really like ur work, as I said, thanksalot for the valuable points and for your time on my work as well.

                                • DKQ replied to this.

                                  @DKQ i've redone ALL 46 chapters with Grammarly, even edited the first few chapters trying to break down the skills rather than have it hit you all at once, tell me if it's better or not now please :kiss:

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