Ninestar619_5803
The premise and story are good. Can't wait to see The Emperor get his revenge! But the glaring problem is most of the time, you're not using the right English words (Though I can understand what you mean because I read a lot). The grammar is good tho.

      Hello, my book is teen fiction. Though most of the characters are teenagers. Just like I'm so I'm still learning to write mature books. However, I'd love someone to tell me how everything is. I'm not an English speaker so my grammars might be _quite....😂

      http://wbnv.in/a/8ahgUr5

        Xero_5825
        It's goood, very good! Finally, someone writes a good prologue and first 5 chapters well. I like the world-building and how you introduced the side characters. But for the MC, you seemed to restraint his character so much. Why?

            JA_Chrysant Maybe cuz you are reading a book that's being mass edited right now.
            Anyways, thx for review. I will make sure to checkout your book in free time.

                Behemot
                Your novel will depend a lot on your MC. Most of the readers would like a happy but dorky character like Kumoko, I think.

                    _Mad_Scientist_
                    You're a new writer, right? Then, be happy, because this story is good. Though, I think it's better you learn about boys more to portray them better. Men don't commit that easily, unless... there's a catch. I also noticed you're not used to English, huh? Some of your word choices (especially in the dialogue) are still awkward and clunky. Tried to read it a loud and you notice it right away. Good work, waiting for the next chapter!

                        B_DRAG
                        Wait, I'll mark your story and just finished the first 5 chapters. I review it after I finish reading an arc, because it's good.

                            Rane_Writes
                            Please tell me in the forum if you finished revising the first chapter, and I'll visit again. Don't forget to check the notes I marked on your chapter.

                                Origins_Ancestor
                                I still find it hard to understand the story, but I kind of get the gist of it and it's good. The problem lies in so many bulky sentences, oh no... Please separate the sentence with (.) not (,). If you finished revising, please tell me. I'll visit again.

                                    RomanceFanatic028
                                    I read it up to the first 5 chapters in no time. It's so easy to read and the plot is really captivating. Ah, if only I don't have to go to the hospital tomorrow, I would binge-read your novel. I don't really have a comment about your style, it's really good for web novel format. But, you tend to forget to capitalize. When I finished the first plot, I'll give the full review. Anyway, can I pinch Emily's cheek? She's adorable.

                                        Web Novel Novel Ask