Rainandstorm
Umm... I think it might not be my cup of tea. The MC is too emotional for me. Well, it's a matter of taste, but could you tone down her anger a bit?
JA_Chrysant
- Jun 12, 2023
- Joined Apr 8, 2023
SYED_ASAD
Very nice, I like the story progression. though through the first 5 chapters, I haven't seen a correlation between the prologue and the rest chapters. The writing is nice, but it might be better if you avoid brandishing the paragraph with long sentences and keep some straightforward.Elementary519
Yup, and the sentences told the same thing all over againCh0mper
Yup, I like your story. Wait, I'll go for more chapters, maybe this week, haha.HairySquid
Oooh, sorry, I mistook you for someone else (ノ≧ ∀ ≦)ノ. Please keep up the good work! Write till the first plot end and then revised it, you'll progress better that way.HairySquid
It's really good, I like the MC and how natural her reaction when got transmigrsted. I made suggestion in your comment, but really, a month and just 2 chapters? Hahaha, please update more frequently.Elementary519
It's nice to read, but the clunky paragraph made it hard to read. If you revised it, please tell me in this forum and I'll read it again. Hopefully, this time I can pass through the first chapter.Huiyin_ing
No problem in the grammar, and it's fun to read. Although the main MCs are too bratty and arrogant for my taste haha. I can't read more than 3 chapter because I can't seem to like the main MCs.PEARL_WANG
Hey, it got real potential. I like it honestly, but at some part of chapters, it got drag on a little to much. Perhaps you could focus in the main plot before giving it complication too early?Alright, I already give you a power stone and collection because it's really good ( >ω<)♡(>ω< ✿)
RomanceFanatic028
I read it up to the first 5 chapters in no time. It's so easy to read and the plot is really captivating. Ah, if only I don't have to go to the hospital tomorrow, I would binge-read your novel. I don't really have a comment about your style, it's really good for web novel format. But, you tend to forget to capitalize. When I finished the first plot, I'll give the full review. Anyway, can I pinch Emily's cheek? She's adorable.Origins_Ancestor
I still find it hard to understand the story, but I kind of get the gist of it and it's good. The problem lies in so many bulky sentences, oh no... Please separate the sentence with (.) not (,). If you finished revising, please tell me. I'll visit again.Rane_Writes
Please tell me in the forum if you finished revising the first chapter, and I'll visit again. Don't forget to check the notes I marked on your chapter.B_DRAG
Wait, I'll mark your story and just finished the first 5 chapters. I review it after I finish reading an arc, because it's good.- Edited
Bloom07
You put a smile on my face. It's much better.- Edited
Bloom07
Sure, it's been a while._Mad_Scientist_
You're a new writer, right? Then, be happy, because this story is good. Though, I think it's better you learn about boys more to portray them better. Men don't commit that easily, unless... there's a catch. I also noticed you're not used to English, huh? Some of your word choices (especially in the dialogue) are still awkward and clunky. Tried to read it a loud and you notice it right away. Good work, waiting for the next chapter!Behemot
Your novel will depend a lot on your MC. Most of the readers would like a happy but dorky character like Kumoko, I think.- Edited
Xero_5825
It's goood, very good! Finally, someone writes a good prologue and first 5 chapters well. I like the world-building and how you introduced the side characters. But for the MC, you seemed to restraint his character so much. Why?- Edited
Ninestar619_5803
The premise and story are good. Can't wait to see The Emperor get his revenge! But the glaring problem is most of the time, you're not using the right English words (Though I can understand what you mean because I read a lot). The grammar is good tho.