@NatsumeRikka Dear, I already reviewed your story. First of all, I want to say that like your story very much.Its very well written. But there is something I feel that you need to adress. A minor flaw in chapter 3 that can be easily fixed.

Since you stated that this is modern world, in actual Earth, this chapter has some credibility issues. And I am not talking about reincarnation. Also, I love Yi Lan and I understand that she is really tough and a complete badass.

However, a highschool girl won a fight against 20 burly man at the same time? And then she walked away after being shot twice? Don't you think its a bit too much? I feel that you should at least give a reasonable explanation for the mc to have this kinds of abilities. After all its a novel in the magical realism genre and not in fantasy.

Martial Arts won't cut it because you stated that she is living in the real actual world. Unless she is a cyborg or a cultivator or something powerful like that there is simply no way she could do those things. So you either remove the modern world tag you putted at the first chapter or you have to include a paragraph to explain her superhuman resistance and abilities.

For example, something like this:

"Since Yi Lan was born she had more strengh than normal people. The reality was that she had bones denser than average due to an excess of calcium, her skin was thicker than normal by an aditional layer and her kidney glands constantly generated a small amount of adrenaline. While medical science struggled to find a reasonable explanation for this anormalities, fortunately her family could provide her with the drugs needed to keep her condition in check.

However Yi Lan did not care about these things. What she did cared about was that she could summon a great deal of strengh at will and it was damn useful on the fights. Of course, her parents and siblings worried a lot about this. Specially since they found out that because her pain threshold was a lot superior that normal people it was common to her to ignore all wounds until it was too late."

Hope you will find this feedback and suggestions useful. Again, I love your story. you definitely got yourself a new reader. Keep up the good work!

    GabrielDetchans Thanks for the review, I just saw it.

    I have changed the synopsis as you advised and I would to know what do you think about the new one.

    Synopsis:

    As red tentacles bursted from the ground the whole planet trembled and fell into chaos.

    It was the beginning....the beginning of the end.

    Earth was destroyed with the attack of the mysterious creature known as The Ruin.

    The Terrene Protectorate, the defenders of the universe were left in shambles after the attack in Earth.

    Only a few people were able to flee from the planet before it's complete destruction.

    John Connor, an 18 years old fresh graduate Protector, was one of those lucky enough to survive and escape.

    Armed only with his dubious expertise and a few tools, he will have to avoid the dangers of a universe without the Terrene Protectorate can offer, repair his ship, restore the symbol of a defunct organization and carry the burdens of the fate of the universe that lies on his shoulders.

    Surviving in this chaotic era won't be easy for our inexperienced John Connor.

    With the end of the Terrene Protectorate, numerous factions that were once dormant, will rise up and start to fight for power. Outlaws, fanatics, greedy corporations, and governments, the conflict of interests of those groups and factions will lead to an unimaginable amount of deaths.

    Follow John Connor as he explores the wonders of the endless universe, and discover how harsh and unforgiving reality can be.

        Thanks for the thread. Here's mine.

        Title: Zaldizko

        Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/12594753605041105/Zaldizko

        Logline: Famine is a man who will do anything, fight anyone to save his three brothers who have been kidnapped. A gunslinging, sword fighting action-adventure wild ride to rescue the family.

        Blurb: "I'll find a way to save my brother. Do whatever the hell you want. I'm stealing your guns."

        Famine is a man determined to save his three brothers after they were tragically separated when a magical fire destroyed their monastery home. He finds himself in a foreign city called Apocalypse. There he falls in with the Evadale Knight Order security group, which guards the Hell's Labyrinth prison facility. The prison's system goes haywire upon his arrival.

        Amongst prison chaos, Famine learns that his missing brothers are somewhere within the area. He'd do anything to save and reunite his family, even if it meant fighting malignant redback spiders and a mind-sucking demon. The fights he faces may be more than he can handle.

        This is volume one of the Seriphyn Knight Chronicles.

        It begins.

          Sorry, plugging another story. No more, promise :)

          Title: To My Sunflower
          Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/12685931606615605/To-My-Sunflower-(BL)
          Rating: PG

          Blurb: Hinata is waiting for Eiji to come home from fighting in the war. He receives a letter filled with the scent of sunflowers and his lover's tender words. A story set at the end of the Japanese Pacific War, 1945 as told from the perspective of same-sex lovers Hinata and Eiji.

          More than a boys love, this book is about the heart and soul of people surviving the final climax of WWII.

          Two sides of the war on Japanese soil are shown.

            anne_2 Have I reviewed your novel? If not could you please post the link again as a reply to my post?

                anne_2
                Hey, anne, I reviewed ur novel. It was nice and all but u need to work a little with the editing. Read ur chapters twice before posting and it will become 5 star chaps, I guarantee that!!

                    anne_2 I am unable to find a review button... I don't know why... Maybe its a small glitch in the system which will get rectified soon...

                        great_gamer In queue but expect me to write the review next week kindah busy tomorrow i have a lot of cakes and pastries orders for 6 occasions dated( 19, 20, 21) and organize a party too

                          JunkieOverThe_Moon Thank you, I'll do what you say.😚 its just that when i write I'll never read it again due to shortage of time (work and business) real life strugles😔 but then thank you.

                            Hello! I just saw this nice little thread and decided to slyly slide my shameless self-promo here! A-Am I too late?! Whatever! I'm also checking out the other novels listed here! :D

                            Title: Angel Smile
                            Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/11905423706600505
                            Rating: NOT FOR KIDS AND SOME ADULTS

                            Plot Summary:

                            Dad rapes(!!!TRiGGER WARNING!!!) girl, girl and her eldest brother mutually in love with each other, but it turns out no one is as they seem. Also, Dad's a murderer. Plot twist! Dad's not the real dad but he's still a b****!

                            Sorry for the bad summary... I don't know how else I should describe this novel to attract readers... Anyways! Please give it a read! I promise the novel (and me) is not as twisted as it might seem! (I'mlyingI'mactuallyprettydarkandcrazy)

                            :D

                              Wrote review to your book really good story.i added your book to my lib😄
                              @M_T

                                bitterlouise review done.
                                It's a good book and find interesting while reading.Its already in my lib will read it completely 😉
                                Please do read my book and give me a review

                                    MishaK review done!!! I liked the way you wrote and gave me an idea for improving my novel
                                    Really appreciate your works.😉

                                      shrishthi Yes I will. Though I'll have time a little bit later, but no worries, I would take time to review yours. Thank you for the nice review😊😘

                                        @vorie_xingo @anya_nesh @StenDuring @Pgimz @M_T @Eslyna @NEidarous hi guys just finish reading your books and i leave comments on it. I have fun, learned a lot information and writing styles of your works. thank you for sharing your wonderful ideas

                                        and for the rest don't worry i will definitely read and rate your works. The happy go lucky bunny is busy at the moment....probably january 22 i cant rate you all...hehehe

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