Hahaha I'm the same, harems typically aren't my cup of tea.

I know it sounds a little bashy since web novels have a ton of harem stories. It should be judged on a different standard compared to average published novels. We all have different likes and interests and a lot of readers enjoy harems. I don't agree with them but I understand where some readers/writers are coming from.

We also can't ignore the cultural difference in Eastern translated novels. It hasn't been too long since the days a rich powerful official could have 1 official wife and many other wives+concubines. It's everywhere in television dramas and cultural poems/history.

Don't get me wrong OP I completely agree with all your points.

Since web novels are read and written for fun I think most people like to live a little more loosely in enjoying them. It's a self indulgent fantasy for everyone involved. I think at the core a of harem represents the idea of "popularity" . A lot of people wish to be popular, well loved and thought highly of in the minds of others. It's not only a petty innocent ego boost but a sense of validation of your own self worth.
The sad thing here is how society has made people equate their own sense of self worth/self esteem into how popular you are. For both girls and guys, to be well desired by many is supposed to be a brag worthy thing. As if it's a personal accomplishment.

Even the harems stories I do like to read, where the MC and ML are devoted to one another, are not fully exempt from this. Both must be 'popular', even more so than the other characters. The best way to show that is apparently to have a kind of 'quality' harem throwing themselves at the leads.

Generic stallion novels are of course the worst representation of this harem trope. (How many 1 in millions breathtakingly beautiful goddesses can one guy collect? are they common cabbages in their world? are they Pokemon?)

not liking harem cuz u can't share your bf/gf with someone else, is perfectly fine. but that is not a problem with the genre itself. that's just as a good enough reason for me to avoid female MC cuz i don't find myself in the story.

i look at harem as a cheap way to romance. and since there is no need to create a complicate female char, they can just create many girls so ppl can chose who they prefer to be with. if u dislike the main girl and she is the only girl then u might quit, and no1 wants that. i mean kmon, ppl scream NTR if the male MC just talks to a girl without even touching her hand and 20 chapters later she is in the hand of someone else. ppl don't like RL stuff...

as for the first post. reason 1) true, but maybe the other concubines are not that important to make an appearance. reason 2) the world today has many different laws and customs.today u can get killed for cheating, or get stoned to death for being gay. 3) well if it's acceptable by the society to have more than 1 spouse then why would ppl think it's wrong? why fight when u can share? 4) that applies to almost everything. 5) maybe? dono, but if u don't like it, i can understand why it would ruin a story, but it's not really a reason to hate the genre.

i'll tell u a reason to hate it: cuz the girls disappear when the new ones appear, and they usually get 4gotten during the storyline.

i think CCmei got it right with the reading for fun stuff

    Actually people who said bad about Harem genre Tag are likely never read a good harem story. Base on my experience a majority of harem genre out there are fake especially the famous Japanese harem with no touch theme like "To love Ru". If you grow up watching and reading Japanese fake harem I can understood where your hatred comes from.

    Why Harem is good for me?

    Let's stop being a hypocrite first harem exist it also known as having an affair in real life. And Majority of man out there have 2 or more women with them. This genre is fantasy base so things that is wrong in real life is just being exaggerated to satisfy some reader and I see nothing wrong in that. Rather than saying that it is wrong and bad try correcting one in real life if you think you can justify yourself.

    Next in harem the unification and balance relationship between women is interesting especially when this women seems enemy at first then became friends because they love the same man or vice versa. Some times this girls having a cat fight looks cute and so on.

    Next Harem does not equal to Hentai. This influence is widely spread in Japanese tradition where Harem is just a man having sex with many women. Real Harem is about man trying to pursued many love and not just limited to sex. A fickle hearted man who easily fall in love and how he do his best for the girl looks nice to me. Having A man pursue a women is an interesting Romance what's more if this man is doing it with a lot of women in different circumstances.

    And lastly I have nothing against people who hated harem since like I said I do know why you hated it but it is just a matter of interest theirs no wrong in bad in it. Sadly majority of so called Harem haters are just hypocrites who just want attention of sort of just to fling something with them. I encounter lot of this people who say they hated Harem and commented badly on it AFTER reading a Harem story to the very end...

    Agreed with the reason gave GigelFaceLegea

    Where did all those girls go? Where did Celestial fairy #3-17 go? What happened to the divine doctor or prodigiously beautiful young miss from blah blah blah go? If they were going to be the MC's one night stand/accessory of the arc then why dedicate chapters of filler story over them.

    XD This is more a plot hole writing problem!

        It all depends on the story, not the genre. What I dislike is when stories get tagged as a harem due to multiple love interests despite there being no marriages or engagements in the story. This is particularly the case when the MC is dense to such matters or has even declared that they are focusing on studies, trainining, etc. and not interested in such matters yet.

          I can read a harem story like Nisekoi...?
          .
          Girls like the MC but he end up with 1 girl.
          I dislike it if MC just get all the girls in the story. (Like really married to all of them)

            Before i say anything let me say im just not that open minded of a guy about harem so i have never read and likely will never read harem so take what i say with a grain of salt....
            Some of our fellow daoists mentioned its interesting when conflicts suddenly turn to love and in turn to harem the reason i think 99% of harem novels are pure fan service is because there is no reason, feeling or logic behind it we read novels as a way to immerse ourself in a more magical world i know most of you if not all read novels while imagining yourselves as main characters i know i do it so ask yourselves this.. What Will you do if a girl(or a guy for our lady friends here) attacks you? Will you just bend over and leave them be because of their gender? (common occurrence in harem novels leaving enemies live cause of gender) All these harem novels turn enemy to lover so i find it illogical and stupid i for fact would resort to wholesome slaughter no matter the gender if it is my enemy.
            Then there is the harem where girls(i point out harem cuz i have no idea how reverse harem is like sorry) for no apparent reason love mc, mc walks by some sect for something he needs and suddenly its open season for his sperm "ohhhh such a strong guy" don't these girls have personality? I dont care about background of a character but at that point in time author should write a believable character not some sex drone hell bent on having mc's babies.
            Then there are damsels, Mc jumps in saves bunch of people and if by some god chance there is a girls amongst them then that girl will forever be bound by mcs macho sex attraction "he saved me, time to have his babies WOO-HOO".
            And one thing i absolutely hate is in all these cultivation novels they talk about dao heart and not betraying ones beliefs and at start they are loyal to one girl, for some reason they get separated then screw the first girl now its time for some orgy belief in general shouldn't be something you can so easily change but it happens again and again.
            Im gonna point out that Er Gen novels almost always have 2 girls marrying the mc i certainly don't like it as im wired that way but at least these girls have depth of character, EQ and atleast some amount of reason to feel that way about mc.

            I rambled on alot have a fortune cookie 🥠 🥠

              Balinor when i'm bored i like to put myself on the other side of the argument just to see what happens... So here i go
              Not fighting girls: I'm pretty sure there are a lot of examples where the guy just sits there and takes the abuse from her without retaliating. Who hits a girl back today anyway? Expecting slaughter regardless of gender is not realistic.
              Enemies become lovers: they say there's a fine line between love and hate. Sure if she kills your family I don't expect a happy ending, but 2 rivals developing feelings isn't SF. Constantly thinking about the other will create something that might develop in a strange way.
              Girls throwing themselves at MC: so it's OK to go into a bar offer a drink, dance a little and go home with the girl, but not to go inside a clan, show some flashy stuff offer a pill or two and get the girl? If u substitute a miraculous art with a flashy car u basically get the same thing.
              The damsel in distress situation: i'm not sure but I think this one still works. What do you say ladies? Have you ever been saved by a white knight before? I developed positive feelings just by getting help with projects at school. If saving a mark can put a person in a positive light can't imagine what saving a life will do.
              So is it unrealistic?no. Annoying? Yes _

                  I think harem is fine insofar as it's consistent within the novel's worldbuilding. That said, I'm not a fan of harem being the selling point of a novel, I think that's weak in imagination.

                    I dislike harem at first and didn't want to read any novel that has it. Not until I read Ancient Godly Monarch. Not all harem are sex and shits. It only gets annoying when the novels emphasize how girls throw himself to the male main characters, it's insulting. If it's harem, I want the guy to at least make an effort to get the girl.

                      7 days later

                      Enlightened_Being Is that so? I'm just being honest. Call it hypocrisy or whatever. I only like reverse harem not because it has too many guys on it. It was because reverse the MC only has "guy friends" where the MC is only confuse about who she choose in the end. Well, I knew that some of the reverse harem had a female lead that really like too many men around her and had some kind of steamy scene (I don't read those kind things like mature content whenever in harem) just like what I didn't like in the harem it's because it has a lot of steamy scene. No hate though. I only like reverse harem and harem that didn't have so much mature content that it went far in the main story.

                      Edit: Sorry for the English 😂 Well, I just wanted to say that I don't like harem especially if it has mature content.

                          GigelFaceLegea Yeah, especially if the guy doesn't do anything. They just sat quietly and watch. It's kinda irritating 😂

                              Reinesse Ancient Godly Monarch killed my heart and therefore I didn't even continue it lmao. I couldn't handle it when the lady was taken away from the Sword Tower. TT

                                  TinyRustyPanda can't say mine is a harem novel except its like a love triangle and killing off that irritating piece of bleepbleepbleep in the end.

                                  Oh yeah, fyi my novel kinda sucked. Instead of writing a full novel, I broke it down into series, more like short stories but sticked with the main character.

                                  Cheerio

                                      Pilum_Murialis That's why I said the Japanese ruined the HAREM tag. Take Nisekoi for example it NEVER was and NEVER be a Harem. The story is technically a normal romance where a lot of girl admire a single man and a man also admire many women technically speaking it is NORMAL! now harem is not about admiring this and admiring that the Japanese wide spread of FAKE harem has technically destroyed the very definition of Harem Genre. Still there are some Japanese Harem that is real even if majority of them is Fake.

                                      Take Arifureta Shokugyou de Sekai Saikyou (WN) for example. It's a good Harem novel.
                                      Sadly their are very very very few of the so called Japanese Harem that is real. Sadly even in anime most Harem Tag are FAKE.

                                      In Chinese novel Harem is also badly forsaken and abuse the difference in the Japanese is that the Chinese Harem tend to exaggerate things.
                                      You can try A Martial Odyssey novel it is a decent Harem if you have time.

                                        Balinor This person is a good example of having never read a good harem in his life. And have most of his time reading FAKE HAREM or Hentai HAREM genre lol. A person who read a good harem once can see that every thing you mentioned and know about harem are self biased after reading all those fake chinese harem who get girls like pokemon with a theme gonna sex them all POKE-mon (lol) Harem is not hentai most good harem doesn't elaborate to much on sex on just focus on pure romance between one man and many women or vice versa and now that you mentioned it reverse harem is much more decent in this topic.

                                            7 days later

                                            BakaNoPasuNoSaferu bro before you point people out like that, that guy, "balinor" said he never even read harem in the first place so read his comment xD, and everything about people's opinion about the genre they read is biased whether you deny that or not it is a ---->FACT<---
                                            You go on saying harem is perfect and some people just don't like the idea of plogomy pure and simple, you like this and he doesn't. Anything else being said about other people's opinion is waste of time

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