Mine is R18, so I can only review when someone reads my story, to avoid forcing anyone to read what they don't like.
I wanna review, send your story link here!
Jokerbud
I finished reading the story. The story is fun and the system is well-made. How you describe the girls is quite... fascinating. But I think the main character is a bit too perverted. Maybe you could consider toning down his perverted nature?
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wilde0985
I finished reading it, though I paused at chapter 5 haha. I can't believe it, I enjoyed reading BL as it stimulated my brain! It's good and got the potential to be better. However, I noticed you tend to simplify a dramatic scene into a narrative. Please don't as it toned down the heartbreaking scene.
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Ruemari_Cordan
Nope, it's okay. I was harsher than you hehe.
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Bloom07
I finished reading it. It's good and the fight is satisfying too. But as prologue, it feels unfinished. Maybe you could continue the prologue until the point where the MC story starts?
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Immanuel_J
Yes, I finished reading the first three chapters. Honestly, the story is good (though the character is too OP haha), but the problem rise from the structure of your writing. It's hard to read when you clump dialogue into a paragraph, so I stopped at chapter three. Perhaps you could consider to separate the dialogue into one sentence?
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Sleepyglasses
I finished reading the first two chapters. Sorry, I can't really continue to read because the structure and the constant change of POV make it hard to read. Well, the good thing is the character has the potential to be likable (Tia). Perhaps you could tone down her sarcastic mind a bit and she would be a believable character. Oh yeah, and Marie is too evil.
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Choka
Ah, thank you to let me review your story. I find the fighting scene quite enjoyable and satisfying. It might be presumptuous of me to say (as I wasn't a contracted writer yet) that the Achilles' heel of your story is the characters. The narrative about them is so good, but when they talk, it felt bland as if they don't put any emotion in it. For example, Lilith's dialogue makes her betrayal didn't pack a good punch to me. Keep up the good work, Choka!
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from_another_world
Ah, I finished reading the first two chapters. The prologue honestly is so good, but you cut its potential by rushing it's ending (You could make his death more dramatic, you know like he reminiscing about her wife before crossing the fateful street and meeting Truck-kun or else). But chapter two... let's just say, it's really hard to read that I stopped. First, it's not a direct continuation from the prologue, second at the prologue you used "I" pov, but then it got messy on chapter two that I don't know who's story is this. I really want to read the continuation of your story, so please, ganbatte kudasai nee!
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Junni_MC
Wait, I just finished reading your first chapter and you already revise it eh? Hmm, I try reading it more tomorrow hehe.
JA_Chrysant It is rare to get an honest review so I will be shameless and ask for one:
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Little_North_Star
I'm sorry, I could only read the first chapter. Honestly, the premise is good. What is it like to live with a terrifying yet handsome husband? But I find it hard to understand how Abi act. Is she scared or not? Why is she scared? Etc. Perhaps I misunderstood Abi because of the structure and grammar.
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wilde0985
Oh yes, of course. That's why I wait until you reach 20 chapters haha.
JA_Chrysant pls check mine out https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/26411639406269405?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4324328047 this is my link
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JA_Chrysant
Thanks for your efforts
Well, It's understandable. I think you haven't read many transmigration novels. I will work on this chapter to show 'How he transmigrated in another body'
Sorry for the inconvenience
JA_Chrysant That is understandable, but keep in mind that she's still afraid of Abaddon, after all, there are a lot of different factors when it came to conversations and one of them is age and strength. Lilith and Abaddon are both old monsters who lived for so long, so her manner of speak isn't that full of emotion, plus she is fearful like I said. But obviously I'll try to work on the character dialogues way more to improve it. Your review is honestly helpful, but you can you tell me if the story makes you read more than that, or is it boring?
JA_Chrysant hiii am glad you are willing to do this.
Please here is the link to my book.
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/25892781905292705?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4323484820
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Choka
Oh, I actually went past 5 chapters. Besides the character, everything else is fun!