About the 8x12 inches thing... I guess it's just because the world, but for 3 countries, uses the metric system and some people don't know inches and centimeters aren't equivalents...
Anyway, 8 cm thick hmm
Are we talking about the diameter or the circumference...? If diameter, it's...šŸ¤Æ
LOL, I'm so curious now. šŸ˜‚

    As a woman in her late 40's, I have to admit that I like a good sex scene. With that being said, I don't like one that has no emotion or is completely wrong. I don't care about the dimensions. I actually prefer basic descriptors and let me use my own imagination. Anything that gives me exact size is an automatic turn off and instantly irritated.

    Another big turn off are some of the words used. Whenever someone talks about drilling in a sex scene, my mind goes straight to my husband's contractor tools and I'm pulled out of the scene.
    Even with little physical descriptions, I have read sex scenes that I've enjoyed. The author chose the words just right that the scene is picture was painted in my mind without having to know how veiny anything was or exactly how long it is.

    Some example of words that I hate and ruin the scene for me are drill, ram, and jackhammer. I think you get my point. They are too harsh for me. None it is a violent scene of some sort, then I can still hate the words, but they are probably more appropriate.

    Those are just some of my thoughts and opinions on the topic.

      Jo_J it doesnā€™t necessarily, but physical intimacy is one of the most universal ways to express emotion. Itā€™s in everything, from all forms of art, to every culture(both ancient and modern). And I say ā€˜express emotionā€™ because love is not the only emotion that can come into play. Sex can be anything from a basic emotional outlet, to a way to connect on a higher, spiritual level with another person(depending on the bond, cultural and religious beliefs, etc.. ).

      The point of this thread is to help authors that struggle to write such scenes. The considerations for writing content of sexual nature are vast, and not easily worded. Some writers are just flat-out embarrassed to create such scenes, and this thread also lets them know that they are not alone in their struggles. Sex isnā€™t a necessity for a romance novel, but for many stories, it is. The general natural progression of a relationship usually leads to sex. We are biologically programmed for it, and it is an everyday part of life(not physically having it everyday, but we hear/see/etc.. about it every day). So if an author wants to write about it, but doesnā€™t know where to begin, or how to go about it; this thread is here to help(at least that was my hope/intention behind making it).

      Sorry for the rantšŸ˜… ā˜®ļøā¤ļøšŸ˜

        I'm a woman who hates graphic, pornographic sexual descriptions! In my opinion, sexual scenes can be written with dignity and purity. However, smut scenes, graphic rape, etc., are a total turn off for me. I'd prefer no sex to those. Sex, to my way if thinking, is a very private act between a man and woman who love each other. It isn't done to release pressure, to gain money or to manipulate. It is solely for the marriage bed.
        In today's society, sex has become so common that we are desensitized to what true love encompasses. Sensual scenes can be cuddling, kissing, hugging. Scenes that graphically describe a man/woman touching each other intimately can sometimes feel as if the reader has been molested! Good clean sexual scenes can be written, but perception of the writer has to be clean as well. Being embarrassed about a sex scene shows that it's obviously not the right one to write. If you can write about love, real love, then a sex scene shouldn't be that difficult. Just saying how I feel not speaking for others.

          GWEN and Anyone Else Reading the Thread:

          I respect your opinion. Thank you for your inputšŸ˜ You are a perfect example of why I say writers need to figure out what type of scene they want in their book(s). It helps them not only determine the content for the scene, but which type of readers theyā€™re seeking to entice/draw in with their work. My personal opinion is vastly different from yours, and thatā€™s okšŸ˜. Everyone is entitled to like what they want.

          I understand your meaning about ā€˜being molestedā€™, but that doesnā€™t necessarily mean the scene itself is bad, itā€™s just not specifically your cup of tea. I see the sculpture of David by Michelangelo as beautiful art, but there are people out there that see it as nothing more than a vulgar statue. To each their own, I say. But my point is that the same perspective applies to books.

          In my personal opinion:
          This is why authors need to specify which type of scene theyā€™re going for. Sex has many forms and emotions connected to it. To say that SEX is strictly about love, and only for a Married Man and Woman, in my opinion: is extremely narrow-minded and more than a touch bigoted. Personally; I donā€™t want readers like that. And there are Many writers that donā€™t either.

          A book or scene might be vulgar to you, but it might be a beautiful work of art or connection to many more. Itā€™s up to the author to give you ā€˜the artā€™, but ultimately the interpretation is always up to the reader. So itā€™s important for the author to articulate themselves based off of what type of scene they want.

          HARD FACT: NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOUR WRITING! AND THAT IS COMPLETELY OKAY!

          Edit: Also, in my personal opinion; being embarrassed to write a sex scene doesnā€™t mean there shouldnā€™t be one/they shouldnā€™t write one. It means that the writer understands the depth and importance of said scene. Or, like many; they are simply embarrassed to write it because friends/family will eventually read it. Sex is a part of life. It has ALWAYS been an integral part of culture/religion/etc.. This isnā€™t anything new. Just that media and technology have made it easily accessible.

          Thank you ā˜®ļøā¤ļøšŸ˜

              darcyjog I completely understand that and respect your opinion. Personally, Iā€™m not a fan of certain descriptive words myself. Like you and a few others, I donā€™t really need details about the exact size, shape, and how veiny a certain something is.

              I like that writers are getting to see how readers respond to specific materials and/or subjects on this threadšŸ˜ The fact that you shared your opinion, but remained RESPECTFUL to others is what I was hoping for in this threadšŸ˜Š Thank you for sharingā˜®ļøā¤ļøšŸ˜

                  Thank you for this! I really like the way you emphasize that "sex sells" but you have to put some context behind it on your story because a lot of novels right now in online platform, starts off with sex scene but really as you read along the way you would feel that it's really just about sex (unless you're writing it like 50 shades of grey). But yeah, truly agree that it should be felt with emotion and character evolvement.

                  Thanks for the link really needed those words because I could find any other. Haha I was looking for like sample sex scene writings for reference too.

                    theanneleen thank you for the compliment and happy to helpšŸ˜Š I donā€™t want to come off as self-promoting, so I wonā€™t post my link(not what this thread is for). I do have some intimate scenes in my first book in the free chapters if you need an immediate example, but thereā€™s a lot of books on here with good scenes(theyā€™re just usually locked). Mine are all heavily descriptive, but thereā€™s books like Star Crossed in Time(one of my favorites ever on Webnovel) that have excellent scenes that arenā€™t heavily detailed. What type of scene are you going for?

                        Sharlaine_Llovit I get youšŸ˜ Iā€™ve read some books that donā€™t have those certain scenes that we were hoping for.

                        If you read a book and either the plot isnā€™t what you want, or thereā€™s certain scenes you wished for but didnā€™t get, you could always try your hand at fan fiction writing. Either writing it yourself or finding an already existing one. Hope this helpedšŸ˜Š

                          I think there is also a huge diffrence between male and female authors and audiences tough.

                          Your suggestions need to be accounted for from the start of the novel.

                          Especially for male authors, because you can't write an emotionally dead novel and suddenly expect to be writing a good love scene, and let's face it, we men shy away from emotionally descriptive novels, and the few who dont favor depression, self harm and angst genres.

                          In my opinion, if love scenes are on the planning for future chapters, with a male target audience, then the author needs to be more emotionally descriptive from the start.

                          If a novel is not emotionally descriptive from the start, it is better to intentionally keep sex to smut only because a love scene even if we'll written in an emotionally dead novel just doesn't work.

                          Likewise, the genre of the novel needs to be considered from the start. Take 'The Mech Touch' for example which is primarily scifi engineering and design oriented.

                          It does well mostly because there is more emotion in it than most such genres as part of the design processes, and whilst a fantastic read and having emotion from the start, it is better to insinuate that there was sex than write a sex scene there because a sex scene wouldn't fit in the story when there hasn't been a shred of romance within the first few hundred, and by now thousand chapters.

                          So Target Audience, Genre, and Emotional levels of the story need to be considered from the start, to even determine whether there should be sex in a story at all, and if yes, if a love scene is even remotely viable as an option over smut if the story has had no or little emotional charge thus far.

                          But that's just my opinion, which many may differ on, but I believe is worth sharing and considering for male authors.

                          PS. I'm being actively censored over this post and can no longer post on the forum:
                          [Media]https://i.imgur.com/M3E5GHO.png[/media]

                            Hatake_Shirou I really like your line of thought, and agree with your general opinion. This is why I stress that writers need to figure out(if they want such a scene to begin with in their book), which type of scene they want before writing.

                            As I stated in my first point on the original thread post; authors need to ask themselves questions while researching like:

                            1. What kind of emotional connection do your characters have? Is it reciprocated? Etc..

                            These questions cannot even be posed until the base of the story has been decided on/created/etc..

                            I specifically made this thread about helping authors to get started on their intimate scenes because going any further into the development of their actual story lines starts to step on the creative toes of others.

                            Personal opinion:

                            Writing is a beautiful art form to me. I wouldnā€™t tell an artist how to paint, or what colors to use, but Iā€™m happy to tell them what kinds of brushes will help create certain types of lines, patterns, etc..

                            Iā€™m not here to tell people how to write their novels(and I know youā€™re not eitheršŸ˜), Iā€™m just suggesting how to get started creating an intimate scene; whether it be smut or love. Where to find the resources, and what questions they should be asking to find their own words.

                            I talk about how the scenes should connect and flow, but I donā€™t like to actually go into too much detail about it. Not saying you are or anything like that, and I understand your point(generally speaking), about males having a harder time writing love scenes. But I didnā€™t want this to be gender-specific in any way because everyone struggles sometimes(even I do, which is why I LOVE the thesaurus link I posted above).

                            Plus, Iā€™ve read/seen books, movies, TV shows, etc.. Where the MC starts out less emotional, but the addition/introduction of a FC later opens the character(s) up to development. It all depends on the writerā€™s vision.

                            Thank you for your thoughts and opinions though! Please know that they are Greatly appreciated as it gives those reading this thread food for thought as they develop their stories. I appreciate your inputā˜®ļøā¤ļøšŸ˜

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