Detailed Review Request Thread!!
Title: X FORCE
Genre: SciFi
Synopsis: Max is one of the two X Forces soldiers was confirmed dead and his partner disappeared shortly after his demise after confirming that it was a planned kill from their inner circle.
Now with new threats arising and being unable to defend, they put out a search for Max after being spotted on a CCTV camera as he's the only one who can help with the destruction of their enemies.
When the new arrivals get wind of this, they send forces after Max as he and his partner are the only ones who can help them win their mother planet back from their oppressors.
What will Max do:
A road to revenge?
Join the faction that 'killed' him or,
Join the new arrivals from another planet.
What if I tell you Max isn't human!
Stay tuned for more updates.
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/x-force_18382108905457905
Anyone interested for review swap.
Title: X FORCE
Genre: Sci-fi
Synopsis: Max is one of the two X Forces soldiers was confirmed dead and his partner disappeared shortly after his demise after confirming that it was a planned kill from their inner circle.
Now with new threats arising and being unable to defend, they put out a search for Max after being spotted on a CCTV camera as he's the only one who can help with the destruction of their enemies.
When the new arrivals get wind of this, they send forces after Max as he and his partner are the only ones who can help them win their mother planet back from their oppressors.
What will Max do:
A road to revenge?
Join the faction that 'killed' him or,
Join the new arrivals from another planet.
What if I tell you Max isn't human!
Stay tuned for more updates.
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/x-force_18382108905457905
THE 7TEEN: LET THE PAIN EXIST
Genre: Thriller
Synopsis: Dhruv is a 17 yr old teenager, who is a boy full of mysteries. Six months ago Dhruv's father died in a car accident and from then Dhruv hasn't had a good day ahead. From his mom's negligence towards him to school bullies, everything seems to add more and more to his misery. But things are different now, it's 17 Jan 2017 and things aren't as they were. Fate had taken it's dark turns and now police is standing on his doors, asking questions regarding the serial killings of three of his classmates. What does Dhruv has to do with it? Does Dhruv know something?
It's not a teenage drama! it's FUCKIN murder mystery! Here, don't expect anything, things are bit twisted as.... TRUTH ISN'T WHITE ANYMORE
And Pain, Let It Exist!
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-7teen-let-the-pain-exist_19117090906475105
Title : Ghost Busters
Genre : Urban, Horror
Synopsis : A guy going by the name of Felix joins the team known as 'Ghost Busters' because of an invitation. A team consisting of 6 members.
Nobody knew his past, nor his personal info. Even his name Felix was an alias created by himself. What was about to come? Was the decision to invite him was correct or everything will crumble?
Felix embarks on his journey along with his new team to unveil the secrets and mysteries of the world, including his own past too.
However, there was another secret to it. Something related to him. Something which defied the laws.
Join Felix on his journey to explore the eerie, unreal, and perilous side of the world as he uncovers the mysteries one by one.
Link : https://m.webnovel.com/book/ghost-busters_20322367305200405
- Edited
https://www.webnovel.com/book/20487494906949305
As weird as the name is, this weird soul is asking if anyone willing to have an honest review swap... (Don't worry, no s*x scene... The title is really just weird) Also, I am already here, I wanna ask if you guys could support me by donating power stones for two weeks... If only guys... Thanks in advance...
Title: Yanderes: The Harem Of The Luckless Man From The Earth
Genre: Fantasy
Synopsis:
As a commoner front the earth, I don't have anything for a girl to like me, which ended up I am being rejected.
On a normal night, an unforeseen accident occurred which caused my life to perish.
However, that isn't the end of all, because I once again found myself alive, in a half and unfamiliar room.
@Praefactuss I've only read two chapters so far, and the novel is pretty unimpressive. Let me explain:
1. Formatting
Split up your paragraphs. Remember that you should start a new one every time there's a new plot beat or if the subject changes.
The grammar and stuff are good for the most part, but proofread some more so that you can catch the tiny little errors. I tell this to everyone, and it feels like I'm beating a dead horse at this point.
2. Mid
I'll be real with you: the story is really average. It's your basic isekai/transmigration with nothing special.
What differentiates your work from others? What is it that will capture readers' attention?
So far, there's just nothing interesting about your story. I'll elaborate more on how to fix that.
(Side note: You forget to mention the MC's age in the first chapter, so I was confused when he revealed that he had become a fourteen-year-old. I assumed he was older and got younger, but according to the story, he was younger and got older)
3. What Makes a Scene
The core of a scene is that a problem must be solved. For example, at the beginning of "Re: Zero," the problem is that the main character, Subaru, is trying to help Emilia find a missing item while also trying to avoid dying over and over again.
In your novel, there's no problem that the main character is trying to solve. Sure, he gets transmigrated, but what's the problem? He just has to learn how to adjust, but there's really no tension anywhere that would make me want to continue reading.
Granted, I didn't read any further, so I assume the plot eventually starts rolling, but you need to establish at least some tension.
You see, it's not enough for the character to be confused about his own situation. Yes, that's a problem, but it's not big enough. You need to shock the reader (not to be confused with abusing shock value) to get their attention.
That's about it. Hope I could help.
Shubhangi_Kene sure sorry for the late reply I will start right away.
Lamelle I also added yours in library, I'll be leaving a review after I read it
honest review please? I've read Yoan's Woodcutter novel and reviewed a while back lol~ (it's still in my library)
But if anyone is up for an honest review on my BL novel, please let me know. I shall do the same for you.
I've just stared so it's still in the early stage _~
- Title: QT: Lazy Prince Becomes Protagonist with a System
- Genre: LGBTQ+, fantasy, comedy, romance
- Synopsis:
Shun had been a lazy prince most of his life. The fifth of 7 siblings, he was free to do as he pleased. Until he died and was swept away to wake up in a new world.
What is this stupid system thing and why is it telling him to do the mission or people die?!
What the hell?! He was no knight!
It had to be a witch’s doing to make him work!
//////****\\\
Vol. 1- Idol Popstar
Shun had to hit the 100% Star Meter to return back to his kingdom. However, being an idol was hard work, but thanks to that witch of a system, he was forced to finish.
No way was he going to let people die!
So working hard and making friends, Shun found himself infatuated with Suu Jin, an idol prince that stole his heart and his first kiss.
Would Shun be distracted by the beauty of Suu Jin to complete his tasks? Would he want to leave this world to return to his old one?
For Suu Jin, he had done everything the world asked of him. He was a puppet dangled in front of the audience, but what they did not know was his past covered by NDAs. Would his flaws be spread out for everyone to see? Would Shun accept him? Would they ever get together?
*Rated 18+ for later volumes/chapters
- Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/qt-lazy-prince-becomes-protagonist-with-a-system_20496998405848805
- Cover picture: 
Who wants an honest review swap
Title: The do-over
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Synopsis:
Sometimes you just have to do things for just you regardless of what other people think because you just might not get the chance to have a do-over.
Andrew is a guy who had to be a doctor in order not to let his mother down. But deep down he wanted to be something else but he didn't have the courage to tell his mother no. Later he finds out his life isn't the fairytale he thought it was.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-do-over_20234475205317705###
- Edited
It won't be as detailed as the one written by our hero here @Epyonnn, @Yoan_Roturier, @Sara_Wilcox,...
I will just point what I see should be improved.
Epyonnn Thank you! I did try to express in the latter chapters that the problem at first was the protag's character but I guess I need to make it more apparent. My inital plan was to start dealing with the protagonist's personality since most novels I read about shut-ins just basically transform the whole character after they transmigrated.
I appreciate the input and will work on it, you're doing good work here! Again, thanks a lot!
@Yulainei I've only read the first chapter so far, and I have quite a few things to say about it. I'll probably do another review for the later chapters if there are any glaring issues.
1. Prose
Good word choices and stuff, but you tend to repeat certain words multiple times within close proximity of each other, making the sentences choppy. In the first paragraph, you used "rain" three times (I'm counting the instance of rain in the word rainfall). In the second paragraph, you used "up" twice. These are a nitpicky thing, but your sentences will flow much better if you use more word variation. This is why English has a million synonyms for almost every word.
Another thing is that there are some incomplete sentences and some that are weirdly worded, making them hard to follow.
2. Omniscient POV
Be careful when writing in the third-person omniscient POV because things might get confusing if you switch to another character's POV. In the chapter, you switched from Nicolaus to the driver, but make sure that you clarify who is who. Give Nicolaus a distinctive feature instead of just calling him "that guy" or "that man." When the POV shifted, I wasn't sure who the speaker was, and who the speaker was referring to until I read a couple more paragraphs.
Also, make sure that you don't reveal too many of the thoughts in other characters' heads, especially if they're not one of the main characters.
Finally, you mainly write in the past tense, but sometimes, it changes to the present tense. Just stick to the past tense.
Tragic Backstory
Yes, Nicolaus may have a tragic backstory, but it doesn't feel impactful if it's narrated. Instead, it might be better to cut the narration altogether and just leave the MC with the feeling of rage and keeping it a mystery as to why he was angry.
Then, in the next chapter, maybe you could have the MC floating through time, watching the events of his past life unfold before him. With that, it would really cement the reason why the MC will no longer tolerate people who mess with him.
This is only one suggestion, and there are many ways to handle it. You can even sprinkle in his backstory while he in his new body.
That's about it so far. I'll probably keep reading to see where it goes.