Skully_ The mc was an expert but right now he is not, he is a normal human being. I also don't intend to make him a master from the beginning I believe going from weak to strong is much better for mc as a person and to the story.

One of my main objectives with this story was to create a good villain and not a person who is evil for the sake of being evil which in this case is Cao who like you said revolves around the mc. I wanted to create a villain that has a personality, motivation, and goal but I guess I was unable to present that but I can guarantee as the story moves forward all these things will become more clear.

I considered my writing to be good but I believe I needed this as now I won't think 'My writing is good since I know it's good so others will also think it's good' I will also try to reduce the amount of info dump and dialogue is a big part of what I'm trying to improve.

I will keep your examples and tips in mind and improve my writing.

Thank you for pointing out the good and the bad so I can create a better story and maybe one day mine will be up there with yours ;).

    Skully_
    I think my novel is next. I originally asked for a nice review but feel free to go brutal. Whichever way you enjoy more is fine with me =)

        Skully_ ugh....sorry t was my mistake. I just changed the name so my bad. but please do the most brutal review ever.
        Novel: Legends of the system creator

            Skully_ ugh....sorry t was my mistake. I just changed the name so my bad. but please do the most brutal review ever.
            Novel: Legends of the system creator

                Whoa... Free reviews! Is this for real? But my negative luck stat... how could good things possibly happen?!? This must be a t-trap!

                ...Urgh, I can't resist the trap!
                Here's my novel! I-it's not like I want you to review it or anything!

                https://www.webnovel.com/book/11594239806435805

                  Myriad_

                  Myriad_ ?

                  If you don't like your review I will delete it. I would like to point out I spent a few hours reading your story and writing this review.

                        Myriad_

                        Myriad_ ?

                        If you don't like your review I will delete it. I would like to point out I spent a few hours reading your story and writing this review.

                              Broughtwaorld2

                              StoryLink

                              Brutal Mode Engaged
                              Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they can’t possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building activities and ass-kicking of paper-thin arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story.
                              .
                              Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait, wait. Let me guess, the MC's cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend.
                              .
                              Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai.
                              .
                              Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speaks to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters.
                              .
                              Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system? That would waste time. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. BTW - When does the storytelling start?

                                  Skully_ Don't know the story, misclicked on this thread, now I am convinced to never read that story, which I would never would have clicked on anyway, since the name sucks balls.

                                  Thanks for the review.

                                      Skully_
                                      I can't wait! Go brutal mode! I've come to love your brutal reviews haha!

                                          Skully_ Thanks for such a beautiful review ....but i feel like someone hate banged me. Just kidding.

                                          So to summarise —
                                          I have to bring a piece of new way of cultivation, create a different but innovative motive for our mc, make mc more interactive while bringing his parents and grandparents into life.

                                          I just want to ask that '5/5' on flow was not sarcasm was it? If not, can you explain me it in simple way....sorry my english isn't that great.

                                          But thanks, i have started to review my next chapters and started to change it accordingly.

                                            Web Novel Novel Ask