Review from fellow OT author
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If I may be so bold Mr. Skully, you can review mine too. :D
My novel's current progress is around 50k words.
I just want an honest review, so please, no holds barred. :)
Novel Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/11343603505344605/Epiphany-of-The-Weak
Skully_ Can you give my book a Brutal review with some sweet words at the end? (it makes the brutality easier to take.;,;.) Also, you can rate down areas that you think should be marked down if they exist as far as the places that they ask for (actually please do, but only if they SHOULD be marked down in your opinion).
Here is my book: https://www.webnovel.com/book/11500790706397805
Like xephyre said before please do a nice/brutal review.
Copy and paste from the novel's review so others know what they are in for.
Originality - 4/5 It's a cultivation novel, however, I found an original story within. The sect dynamics, their goals, trials and tribulations are interesting.
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Story - 5/5 There is a very interesting story here dying to get out. It is hampered by other factors (flow and descriptors). The author's imagination and creativity are obvious to see, but I am having trouble receiving their vision.
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Characters - ?/5 The characters need work. They are likeable, this is not the issue. I like Xiare, Eumi and even Mr Knight. The problem is I do not know what any of them look like. When Mr Knight is introduced Xiare should look at him and describe him in her own words. I find it hard to distinguish any characters beyond the three groups. Women, Men and old people. By their words, thoughts and personality. This improves as the story progresses which indicates the Author works out who they are as she writes. Characters are the main aspect of a story that readers fall in love with. It is extremely important to show; what they look like, their goals or motivations, their personality and quirks, and most importantly their distinct voice.
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Flow - The flow starts out terrible, but improves chapter by chapter. By chapter 30 its excellent. When someone talks we know who is talking. There is more description in between thoughts and conversation.
Suggestion: Take a break from publishing daily, read your entire story. Go back and rewrite chapter 1 to 7. Especially 1 to 3. In these first few chapters describe what the characters look like and put in their personality from the later chapters. Also ensure the reader always knows who is talking or thinking.
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Suggestion 2): I think your writing is improving with practice. Just as my first 200,000 words were not as good as my second 200,000 or 3rd, or 4th. etc. So I suggest you keep writing as you will continue to improve at a rapid rate which is already evident. It's my opinion that when you want multiple POVs that you shouldn't have them as first person. You should use third person. This way you can show what characters are thinking without confusion.e.g. Xiare wondered ......, or Eumi was fascinated/frustrated etc etc.
Dark_Reality lol you two....how I am supposed to do half-half? I will have to do two in the same comment.
- Edited
Skully_ What I meant was like the good and bad of my story if you don't have much time you don't have to go into much detail. I've seen your novel in rankings it has a really good rating which tells that you are able to write really good stories I also have it in my library so to get some opinions about the good and bad about my story would be really helpful .
Right now I have 10K words published in the post you mentioned you will read a story each day so going by the order when you reach mine it'll have over 15K words.
please do 'THE HARD MODE BRUTAL REVIEW" on my novel
Rebirth of the System Creator
including the synopsis, cultivation description and everything else please.
Oh, this novel was rewritten again so I hope for the best.
Arigato Gozaimasu
Brutal Mode
Originality - None. 0/5. Good work on the copy paste reincarnation story tropes. Oh you forgot that the MC's name was Sorcha, she died, reborn and her new parents happened to name her Sorcha. The ODDS!?!
The neighbouring countries of Linbourne are Oakbourne, Silverbourne, and Vertbourne, and Linbourne. Linbourne not only neighbours itself all countries end with *bourne!
Story - 4/5 Despite having felt I have read this story before I actually enjoyed it. That is until every male, including ones in their twenties, were infatuated with her. And wondering why a four-year-old girl gave them a cold shoulder. ** I know who Marion is unless you have a twist planned. This could have waited until she was older. Marion and Ryan could have found her intelligent and cute.
Characters - 3/5 The MC has a kick ass personality. Everyone else is a cliche. With the exception of Edmund. Most of the kids and adults speak with the Authors voice. Except for Edmund, he is special. Edmund should become the new main sidekick. Go, Edmund. Poor little shy bastard with no redeeming qualities except he loves MC.
Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. Nothing to troll here. Move along troll, move along. I found it easy to read. But you need to stop apologising for long chapters. You are the storyteller. It is what it is. The story comes first. Fuck the reader. If the story demands a 10k chapter. Then they can suck a cold one. Give them a 10k chapter. Give them cliffhangers too. Take no prisoners.
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Nice Suggestions: I enjoyed reading the story. I would suggest a few things to improve, but above all keep writing.
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1) describe what it looks like. The classroom, the home, the cafe. Wherever the characters are spending time. Take time to describe it once so the reader can picture it in their mind.
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2) Give the characters a distinct voice. You are halfway there, keep going.
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3) describe the character's appearance once. Have Luke think about Sorcha. Or what Rica sees when looking at Ryan. or just describe them. Give them a quirk or difference.
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4) dont make it too easy for the MC. Good things come to those who wait. Not every man adores her. Some might just want to be friends. Some might take a long time. Some might give her pushback initially and her strong will then forces her way through.
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Skully_ I'm still digesting everything. I am actually laughing while reading. It's really interesting to know how others think about my story.
First thing.. I'm aware that there really isn't much originality. The inspiration came from those rein.. tropes anyway lol
your reaction towards the countries are gold.
I'm glad how you rate 4/5 on the story. Did it really appear as if they're infatuated already? I guess I have a lot of adjusting to do on that.
The characters.. I will also try to improve how to make them more distinct.
Lastly I'm happy that you found it easy to read. And.. okay haha I'll listen to your advice.
I will follow your suggestions. Even though my work is really amateurish, I'm glad you enjoyed reading. Thank you very much for this honest review and for pointing out the things that I need to improve on.
I'm thankful I asked for this roasting.
And if it's not bothersome, I hope you could rate directly in my novel. Thanks again. Edit: I just noticed that you already did!! Hahahah
Skully_
Please review my novel. It will be 12 chapters long 30 minutes after I posted this comment. Over 30,000 words.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/11515337406404505/Uniform-System
I'd like a nice review. If you have time I'd also like to see a brutal review on the forum thread as well, haha! Thanks for your time!
Skully_ I'm tired of harsh reviews, give me some nice ones...
https://www.webnovel.com/book/10852246906190705/Assassination-System
Please review mine. I'd prefer a nice review if possible.
I currently have 11 chapters and 17k+ words, and should be able to release the next chapter tomorrow at most.
Heya, Link to your book, since your reviewing books I'd like to return the favour. I dont want nice or brutal just honest. This being said your welcome to skip over mine since its BL genre ( even if there is no p0rn in it and its mostly comedy some people may get uncomfortable ) https://www.webnovel.com/book/11490900806393805/I-reincarnated-into-a-harem-game-as-a-villain%2C-Please-stay-away-I'm-gay!
PS I have an editor now so don't worry too much about grammer they should be fixing it up soon. :)
If you have time I would love to have you rate mine:
https://www.webnovel.com/book/10672212005098605/Macha's-Journey
Skully_ If you would like you can review my novel in any manner you would like- https://www.webnovel.com/book/10688937106118705/God-of-Death