Skully_ You are the one taking time from your day to read my story so it's fine.
Review from fellow OT author
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Skully_ The mc was an expert but right now he is not, he is a normal human being. I also don't intend to make him a master from the beginning I believe going from weak to strong is much better for mc as a person and to the story.
One of my main objectives with this story was to create a good villain and not a person who is evil for the sake of being evil which in this case is Cao who like you said revolves around the mc. I wanted to create a villain that has a personality, motivation, and goal but I guess I was unable to present that but I can guarantee as the story moves forward all these things will become more clear.
I considered my writing to be good but I believe I needed this as now I won't think 'My writing is good since I know it's good so others will also think it's good' I will also try to reduce the amount of info dump and dialogue is a big part of what I'm trying to improve.
I will keep your examples and tips in mind and improve my writing.
Thank you for pointing out the good and the bad so I can create a better story and maybe one day mine will be up there with yours ;).
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Broughtwaorld2 Where is this novel in need of brutal mode?
Lol its Legends of the System Creator
Skully_
I think my novel is next. I originally asked for a nice review but feel free to go brutal. Whichever way you enjoy more is fine with me =)
Skully_ ugh....sorry t was my mistake. I just changed the name so my bad. but please do the most brutal review ever.
Novel: Legends of the system creator
Skully_ ugh....sorry t was my mistake. I just changed the name so my bad. but please do the most brutal review ever.
Novel: Legends of the system creator
Whoa... Free reviews! Is this for real? But my negative luck stat... how could good things possibly happen?!? This must be a t-trap!
...Urgh, I can't resist the trap!
Here's my novel! I-it's not like I want you to review it or anything!
Whoa... Free reviews! Is this for real? But my negative luck stat... how could good things possibly happen?!? This must be a t-trap!
...Urgh, I can't resist the trap!
Here's my novel! I-it's not like I want you to review it or anything!
Skully_ um....what's my no.?
Name: Legend of The System Creator
Skully_ um....what's my no.?
Name: Legend of The System Creator
Broughtwaorld2 coming coming Skully is busy :)
Hey, I would really like someone to review my novel. I don't care about good or bad...Just DO IT!!! And thanks in advance. Here's my novel's link https://m.webnovel.com/book/11515644006404805 (PS- Please don't do an overkill.)
Brutal Mode Engaged
Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they can’t possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building activities and ass-kicking of paper-thin arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story.
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Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait, wait. Let me guess, the MC's cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend.
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Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai.
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Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speaks to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters.
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Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system? That would waste time. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. BTW - When does the storytelling start?
SnoozySloth you're next
Skully_
I can't wait! Go brutal mode! I've come to love your brutal reviews haha!