@ArthurHFSS Review completed! Your novel is really great! The only thing it is lacking its more promotion! Just select some of the people in this thread and talk to them to trade reviews so they would promote your novels.

Also, and I am only pointing this because you said you want feedback, your synopsis could be better.

You do have a great start in prologue and first chapter with Earth destroyed by tentacles, so why don't use that in your synopsis. Write it in a little more agressive way. For example:

"Damn tentacled monsters! First they destroyed the Academy. Then they destroyed the Protectorade. Finally, the whole Earth! And that was just graduation day! Can John survive his first day as the interim captain of a broken spaceship?

Armed only with his dubious expertise and a worn out Terrene Protectorate Field Guide, he will have to avoid the tentacles trying to kill him, repair his ship, protect the symbol of a defunct organization and find out the responsibles of the destruction of Earth before he can even start to think about revenge.

Oh boy! How much he wished he had paid more attention instead of sleeping on his bench during those all those lessons at the academy!"

Something like that. I hope you find it useful. You are entitled to ignore my advice if you dont like it.

    @NatsumeRikka Dear, I already reviewed your story. First of all, I want to say that like your story very much.Its very well written. But there is something I feel that you need to adress. A minor flaw in chapter 3 that can be easily fixed.

    Since you stated that this is modern world, in actual Earth, this chapter has some credibility issues. And I am not talking about reincarnation. Also, I love Yi Lan and I understand that she is really tough and a complete badass.

    However, a highschool girl won a fight against 20 burly man at the same time? And then she walked away after being shot twice? Don't you think its a bit too much? I feel that you should at least give a reasonable explanation for the mc to have this kinds of abilities. After all its a novel in the magical realism genre and not in fantasy.

    Martial Arts won't cut it because you stated that she is living in the real actual world. Unless she is a cyborg or a cultivator or something powerful like that there is simply no way she could do those things. So you either remove the modern world tag you putted at the first chapter or you have to include a paragraph to explain her superhuman resistance and abilities.

    For example, something like this:

    "Since Yi Lan was born she had more strengh than normal people. The reality was that she had bones denser than average due to an excess of calcium, her skin was thicker than normal by an aditional layer and her kidney glands constantly generated a small amount of adrenaline. While medical science struggled to find a reasonable explanation for this anormalities, fortunately her family could provide her with the drugs needed to keep her condition in check.

    However Yi Lan did not care about these things. What she did cared about was that she could summon a great deal of strengh at will and it was damn useful on the fights. Of course, her parents and siblings worried a lot about this. Specially since they found out that because her pain threshold was a lot superior that normal people it was common to her to ignore all wounds until it was too late."

    Hope you will find this feedback and suggestions useful. Again, I love your story. you definitely got yourself a new reader. Keep up the good work!

      GabrielDetchans Thanks for the review, I just saw it.

      I have changed the synopsis as you advised and I would to know what do you think about the new one.

      Synopsis:

      As red tentacles bursted from the ground the whole planet trembled and fell into chaos.

      It was the beginning....the beginning of the end.

      Earth was destroyed with the attack of the mysterious creature known as The Ruin.

      The Terrene Protectorate, the defenders of the universe were left in shambles after the attack in Earth.

      Only a few people were able to flee from the planet before it's complete destruction.

      John Connor, an 18 years old fresh graduate Protector, was one of those lucky enough to survive and escape.

      Armed only with his dubious expertise and a few tools, he will have to avoid the dangers of a universe without the Terrene Protectorate can offer, repair his ship, restore the symbol of a defunct organization and carry the burdens of the fate of the universe that lies on his shoulders.

      Surviving in this chaotic era won't be easy for our inexperienced John Connor.

      With the end of the Terrene Protectorate, numerous factions that were once dormant, will rise up and start to fight for power. Outlaws, fanatics, greedy corporations, and governments, the conflict of interests of those groups and factions will lead to an unimaginable amount of deaths.

      Follow John Connor as he explores the wonders of the endless universe, and discover how harsh and unforgiving reality can be.

          Thanks for the thread. Here's mine.

          Title: Zaldizko

          Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/12594753605041105/Zaldizko

          Logline: Famine is a man who will do anything, fight anyone to save his three brothers who have been kidnapped. A gunslinging, sword fighting action-adventure wild ride to rescue the family.

          Blurb: "I'll find a way to save my brother. Do whatever the hell you want. I'm stealing your guns."

          Famine is a man determined to save his three brothers after they were tragically separated when a magical fire destroyed their monastery home. He finds himself in a foreign city called Apocalypse. There he falls in with the Evadale Knight Order security group, which guards the Hell's Labyrinth prison facility. The prison's system goes haywire upon his arrival.

          Amongst prison chaos, Famine learns that his missing brothers are somewhere within the area. He'd do anything to save and reunite his family, even if it meant fighting malignant redback spiders and a mind-sucking demon. The fights he faces may be more than he can handle.

          This is volume one of the Seriphyn Knight Chronicles.

          It begins.

            Sorry, plugging another story. No more, promise :)

            Title: To My Sunflower
            Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/12685931606615605/To-My-Sunflower-(BL)
            Rating: PG

            Blurb: Hinata is waiting for Eiji to come home from fighting in the war. He receives a letter filled with the scent of sunflowers and his lover's tender words. A story set at the end of the Japanese Pacific War, 1945 as told from the perspective of same-sex lovers Hinata and Eiji.

            More than a boys love, this book is about the heart and soul of people surviving the final climax of WWII.

            Two sides of the war on Japanese soil are shown.

              anne_2 Have I reviewed your novel? If not could you please post the link again as a reply to my post?

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