Jeanean_Lain AardwarkThe2nd stella2138 Voidmirage Assessments done:https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/03/10/webnovel-assessments-33/

Specifically addressed to stella2138 I typically ok with reviewing any type of book, even if it's not my cup of tea. However, in regards to your story, I'll be straightforward. I can't review this. Not only are some chapters all in caps, but the rest of the chapters not in all caps don't have proper capitalization and is mostly made of dialogue with one liners on where the dialogue is taking place. I'm sorry to say this, but this is my honest opinion. To review, the improper construction of sentences and overall English needs to be improved.

For instance...

Original:

"no no no amanda. that film is meant for adults that are aged 30 and above.those seniors of yours are putting themselves in danger. amanda my child listen to me. those who watch that film at age 16 died on their wedding night. before you were born i lost 8 of my good friends because they watched that film. its very bad.listen-- no matter what don't even think of trying to watch any thing related to it.do you hear me?
"yes mama.
"an also those seniors you mentioned--whoever they are stay away from them."
"yes mama---em are you still going to touch your make up?your make up has been ruined by sweat--"
"oh amanda your so considerate. i'm going now. rest well. ill be back in a jiffy ok?"
"yes mama"
with that roseline left with a sigh
"kids those days are worse than sponges. i must keep an eye on little amanda ."thought roseline on her way to the women's bathroom

Corrected:

"No no no, Amanda. That film is meant for adults aged 30 and older. Your seniors are putting themselves in danger. Amanda, my child, listen to me. Sixteen year olds who watched that film died on their wedding night. Before you were born, I lost eight of my good friends because they watched that film. It's very bad. Listen, no matter what, don't even think of trying to watch anything related to it. Do you hear me?"
"Yes Mama."
"Also, those seniors you mentioned, whoever they are, stay away from them."
"Yes Mama. Em, are you still going to touch your make up? Your make up has been ruined by sweat--"
"Oh Amanda, you're so considerate. I'm going now. Rest well. I'll be back in a jiffy, ok?"
"Yes Mama."
With that, Roseline left with a sigh.
"Kids these days are worse than sponges. I must keep an eye on little Amanda," thought Roseline on her way to the women's bathroom.

And this is only correction. Good storytelling needs more focused detail of settings and characters. It shouldn't be mostly dialogue. The plot, or at least its direction, should also be clear.

              Book_Keeper truthfully its oriinally written in drama mode and im trying to change it. as for the capslock you can say i was still immature as i dint know much. so i'll go back and start making changes on each of the chapters. thanks for your honest review.

                Book_Keeper Thanks a lot @Book_Keeper
                You are just amazing. Your rating inspires me to work more properly so that I can improve further. Thanks for the positive update.... :)

                Do you have any other suggestions that I need to work on? How can I improve my book further? I am all ears.

                    Book_Keeper Author of Killing Xianxia Protagonists With An AI System In Another World, thanks for the review!

                    The points to improve in seem to be Plot Development, Character Formation and Reading Level.

                    What exactly do you recommend me to improve in?

                    Also, would you suggest a change in title - the title is kinda misleading, I would like the change in title to indicate MC's timetravelling and the R-18 content - those are the major content for the story.

                        March Monthly Spotlight - let's see how this goes. :)

                        niharikabhol Until I get to your review on the queue list, my only suggestions are to read the Writing Guide (it's incomplete however), maybe read some of the reviews already done of other books, or study books that are popular on Webnovel or highly rated on Virtual Bookshelf.

                        PeachyPearl The magic word is review. ;) But of course, queued.

                        AardwarkThe2nd Again, the review will be more in depth, and my suggestions before then would be the same as told to niharikabhol above.

                        Typically, the last remaining points in PD and CF are the successful conveyance of originality and depth as well as the balance of events and personality. RL is simply the level of writing in terms of language, phrasing, and sentence construction. I wouldn't focus too much on this point until the others are more solid.

                        As for a change in title, I'm not sure honestly. :laughing: I saw how your story changed due to readers' comments/wishes. I can't say this is the best for plot structuring/direction, but it certainly gives a good idea of what people want. Time traveling could be in the title, and if you're going for a harem, that's always works in the title. Killing the protagonist is unique/uncommon, so keeping that could be a good point of difference.

                                Hope it works out, this website's reviews are full of bullshit! I use novelupdates but original works don't really show up there.

                                Hi there I would also love if you could read my webnovel too and give it a review.

                                Book title : Falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me !! My soldier !!!
                                Author name/ Pen name : Pakohoshino29
                                Current chapters : 15
                                Genre : Romance fiction
                                Link : https://m.webnovel.com/book/1267939900558205

                                Thank you in advance sir ! 🙏😊

                                  Book_Keeper Do you mind checking mine out too? I would appreciate any review, comment, and constructive criticisms.
                                  Title: Destiny Forged

                                  Genre: VRMMORPG, Martial Arts, Fantasy, Romantic Subplot, Overpowered MC.

                                  Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/13142328105838605/Destiny-Forged

                                  Sypnosis:
                                  Despite possessing unrivaled combat prowess and unparalleled instincts, he had always lived a restricted life, hidden away from the rest of the world.

                                  However, with the appearance of the VRMMORPG, Destiny Forged, he can finally show his existence to the world and rise above the elites and experts.

                                  Follow our protagonist as he grabs ahold of his own destiny and battle against fate.

                                      cover

                                      The World Can Go to Hell For All I Care

                                      Synopsis-

                                      I have one straight goal. To join the army, go into battle, earn money and glory.

                                      Oh! Wait! I ain’t some patriotic soldier to lay down my lives for the sake of the country, no that shit is for people with some loose screw.

                                      I just want the money so I could feed my little brother and sister, their world is only what I want to protect.

                                      Also, I want glory so I could overwrite and clean the name of my father who tarnished the family name. We became a laughing joke in the country and even mom abandoned us. No, I don’t know if he betrayed the country or not, I don’t care. But I don’t want my little kid brother and sister to face the same mockery and hatred of the people as I did.

                                      Just to protect the smiles of the only family I have, I would do anything.

                                      But life knows to shit on you when things were just getting good.

                                      Click for the link here

                                        DreamX You are a leech and by far the worst author I ever saw. Besides polluting the forum with useless posts, you achieve nothing. You managed to not even write more than 5 chapters for a single novel. As for your best novel, you deleted it yourself. I guess we will see you soon, in entry Contest 62 maybe? While you dropped once again a story because you can't work hard and want immediate success.
                                        Now, will you kindly stop double spam the same message in multiple threads?

                                            Web Novel Novel Ask