Since you took it so bad I removed the review.
But I took the liberty to make a more in-depth editing of the first three paragraphs of your work.
It's up to you how to take my advice to polish your writing skill.
Chapter 1: The Almighty Anura
Rain poured down incessantly over a dark and ominous valley that was nestled between two towering mountains. Through the drizzle, one could faintly make out a colorless wetland, [Starting with weather and ambient description is boring, start your story with a Bang! Or if you prefer “in medias res”] which most of the Origo players called the Bog of Despair. Whether this vast expanse of death and decay had ever had another name was unknown, as it had never been claimed by a kingdom, nor anyone else. [Infodump right here, and not even too clear. I know that Origo is an online game thanks to the synopsis but you don’t specify it here. It’s just confusing. This “Bog of Despair” is useful to the story? It’s a recurrent location? Or we are just introduced to this place once? Maybe you should just cut it out. In any case this is not the right way to describe it]
Under the splatter of the raindrops, a ragtag group of warriors and mages were trotting at a medium pace,[Trotting by definition is between walking and running, no need to specify “at a medium pace”. Medium in relation to what? Also, trotting is used mostly for horses, are they on horses?] unperturbed by the onslaught of water[Repetition of “Under the splatter of the raindrops. Cut it] that had soaked them to their bones. Their expressions were filled with exhaustion, [Show me they are exhausted and soaked, don’t tell me. How? Make them stumble and fall into the mud. Make them shake their mantles to remove the water. Make them gasp for air. Make me hear the heartbeat in their ears. If they are running on foot...or are they on horses? See the problem above.] as if they had been running like this for days. [Redundant simile, just show they are exhausted]
At a glance, the group consisted of nine people. Two female elf twins were at the forefront, acting as the group's vanguard. [Who’s speaking here? Casper the Friendly Ghost holding a camera and recording the scene for us? Third Person omniscient narrator died in the XIX century, surviving only in comedy and with the lazy authors] They were dressed in black leather clothes that clung to their bodies, each armed with a set of short blades. [Describe only what is useful to the story, do we need to know how they are dressed and armed? Do we need to know it now? If we are not going to need this information in the next paragraph (or worse, never), better cut it out.] Their eyes darted to and fro, as they scouted the area ahead for any danger.