@Yulainei I read your novel up to the most recent chapter, and here are some of my thoughts:
Grammar is good, and there were just a few mistakes that can be fixed with a little proofreading.
I had mostly easy time following the story, but you introduced too many characters in the beginning without giving much description. In the end, I just imagined most of the people's faces as blobs (not that my imagination is that good anyway).
My biggest issue is with how the story opens. I haven't read anything from the cultivation genre, so these opinions are just from my initial impressions.
Firstly, the beginning is way too slow. Nothing really happened. The main character is born, and the families have a banquet, but that's it. You have fantasy, adventure, and action in your tags, but the only thing I've seen so far is fantasy (and a little bit of action from the two kids' duel). I know that you'll get to the epic stuff later on, but the beginning is just too stale. Additionally, give at least a little bit of explanation about the magic system and the cultivation system. A couple of sentences should suffice, and you shouldn't go too in-depth if you want to keep the air of mystery. When you're writing a fantasy, you shouldn't expect that the readers will assume the rules in your world.
Secondly (and this ties into the first point), the main character doesn't do anything. He gets birthed, but he's a baby, so what's he supposed to do? Sometimes, starting at the very beginning of a person's life will lead to a boring opening unless other people are pushing the plot forward. As a general rule when writing a story, you want to write it from the perspective of the most interesting character, and start in the most interesting part of the timeline. Necessary information about the past can be given through a flashback. Since the MC couldn't do anything, you made the supporting characters do stuff, but it wasn't anything exciting, unfortunately.
Remember that a good plot consists of three main aspects: a goal, stakes, and urgency (I learned this from a YouTuber named Filmento). To give a quick explanation, the main character needs to have an end goal that they are trying to reach. Since you're writing a cultivation novel, the end goal is already intrinsically there, but the characters still need to work for something in the short term. As for stakes, there are none in your story, since nobody is trying to solve any sort of problem in the world. Finally, there's no urgency either, because there's no metaphorical bomb that will go off if the main characters don't defuse it in time. When you begin a story, you should set up at least one of these three aspects of the plot, with the most important one being the stakes. I'm afraid that if you don't start off with a bang, the readers will get bored and will drop the story after a couple of chapters.
I don't want to call you out too hard on this, but your first four chapters are mostly fluff. Unless something ridiculous happens soon, most of that stuff can be cut out, and you could have started off the novel when the main character began his training.
I don’t normally read heist/con books, but the super powers make me interested to see how it turns out. I’ll definitely read when I have time.
